aidan -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/14/2007 9:53:19 PM)
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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo See, I'm actually a very prudish person. I don't believe in an exchange of body fluids (or the potential of it) unless there is love involved. Second, I don't believe in playing the odds when it comes to pregnancy so I don't do intercourse at all because we do not want children. So if sex is only intercourse, then I've only done that consensually with two men in my entire life -- non-consensually would raise that number to 3. If sex is any activity where you could exchange body fluid even without risk of pregnancy then the numbers are higher but each of those men I loved and I believe loved me. Yeah, I share a lot of this thinking. First and foremost, I'm a paranoid person. I just know I'd be the one guy who's condom burst, or who's significant other got a defective pill, or something. The only (near) 100% way for me to be sure that I don't become a father before it's a viable option is to not have intercourse, vaginal intercourse at least. When I decide I'm ready to have sex, it'll probably be with somebody I'd be ready to take that step in life with. But, who knows, for the right person I might be willing to relax that standing. You can't claim to know for certain how you'll react in a situation until you face it. That said, I still consider myself a very sexual person, and BDSM is a very sexual thing for me. I consider what I do to be "sex", and it's a part of my romantic relationships. If a Domme makes it clear that she doesn't have sexual contact with her submissive(s), then right away that's a sign that we wouldn't work together. That's putting a distance in the relationship that I wouldn't be comfortable with. I'm not knocking the choice for that distance, just describing why it doesn't work for me. Aside from vaginal intercourse, I'm willing to do almost anything else with someone provided that we're compatable and have mutual attraction.
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