RE: money and sexism in BDSM (Full Version)

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SweetDommes -> RE: money and sexism in BDSM (8/14/2005 10:50:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sfgrrl

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

Actually, the saying is "Want of money is the root of all evil" i.e. greed.

Not quite.

'For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.' - 1 Timothy 6:10


It depends on the translation, as with many other things. However, I was simply pointing out that it is not money alone that is the root of all evil - my version of it is by far more accurate than what was posted originally, and while I am not up for digging up any of my multiple Bibles (gotta love going to a Christian college - I started out with one, and ended up with 5 or 6), I know that I have seen my version (although I do admit that I did crop the last part off, obviously).




ManOwner -> RE: money and sexism in BDSM (8/14/2005 11:41:44 AM)

I have not read many sub male profiles that mention money. However, I have talked to a great many sub males that think being owned means being taken care of so completely that they don't have to take responsibility for their own lives. I have been chatting with one online "buddy" who is depressed and lonely, and he thinks that belonging to me would provide the solution.

I agree that being supported financially by one's partner is at odds with being the powerful one in the relationship. I have read ads by sub males who profess to be well-off, and they want a Domme to move in and rule them. She would get free rent, etc., etc., etc. I wonder if those men have failed to consider what it generally means when one pays a female for companionship, or whether perhaps they know exactly what it means.




MstrHellsFury -> RE: money and sexism in BDSM (8/14/2005 1:00:15 PM)

does it mean it's not Christmas and that's not santa in the background saying Hoe..Hoe...Hoe...


Fury




BlkTallFullfig -> RE: money and sexism in BDSM (8/14/2005 1:18:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sfgrrl
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes
Actually, the saying is "Want of money is the root of all evil" i.e. greed.

Not quite.
'For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.' - 1 Timothy 6:10
Damn Stef,
You're making me wish I had paid attention in sunday school, and to my dad when he was teaching us the importance of reading the bible. [:D]M




ManOwner -> RE: money and sexism in BDSM (8/14/2005 2:35:49 PM)

quote:

MstrHellsFury: does it mean it's not Christmas and that's not santa in the background saying Hoe..Hoe...Hoe...


Heehee




hardbodysub -> RE: money and sexism in BDSM (8/14/2005 4:04:19 PM)

You're so right about the misuse of the word "dominate". A profile which states "I am very dominate" really doesn't do much for the credibility or image of a supposed dominant person, does it?

Actually, if one really wants to be picky, it could also be argued that "dominant" is properly an adjective, not a noun. Its proper use as a noun is limited to specific applications in genetics, ecology, and music. I believe that the word has evolved in the BDSM community from its proper status as an adjective to a shorthand version of "dominant person", so is now generally accepted as a noun.

It doesn't bother me to see dominant used as a noun, but reading "I am a dominate" is like hearing fingernails scraping across a blackboard ... AAARGH!




hardbodysub -> RE: money and sexism in BDSM (8/14/2005 4:09:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ManOwner

I have not read many sub male profiles that mention money. ...

I agree that being supported financially by one's partner is at odds with being the powerful one in the relationship. I have read ads by sub males who profess to be well-off, and they want a Domme to move in and rule them. She would get free rent, etc., etc., etc. I wonder if those men have failed to consider what it generally means when one pays a female for companionship, or whether perhaps they know exactly what it means.


Funny, I've seen almost no sub males such as you describe (of course, I don't search much for them), but I've seen a LOT of self-professed femdoms who are specifically seeking such a financial situation.




la90066 -> RE: money and sexism in BDSM (8/14/2005 6:23:05 PM)


Simple aswer:

1. Most of the people on here are fakes (Doms and subs alike)

2. Most in both the D/s and Vanilla world have lost sight of what it means to be a partner. D/s is still a partnership -- there are just predefined (to a certain extent) understandings of who determines the flow of the relationship.

Anyone who falls for this is a chump -- plain and simple. I expect the one I'm with to be both sub/slave and partner. Everyone should. It's the difference between a fuck buddy and someone you're committed to and in a relationship with.







cmatrix4761 -> RE: money and sexism in BDSM (8/15/2005 9:50:12 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ManOwner

I have not read many sub male profiles that mention money. However, I have talked to a great many sub males that think being owned means being taken care of so completely that they don't have to take responsibility for their own lives. I have been chatting with one online "buddy" who is depressed and lonely, and he thinks that belonging to me would provide the solution.

I agree that being supported financially by one's partner is at odds with being the powerful one in the relationship. I have read ads by sub males who profess to be well-off, and they want a Domme to move in and rule them. She would get free rent, etc., etc., etc. I wonder if those men have failed to consider what it generally means when one pays a female for companionship, or whether perhaps they know exactly what it means.


Drawing on my understanding of psychology (yes, I'm a man of many trades :p ), I would have to conclude that individuals seeking complete submission [at the level to which ManOwner is referring] are generally responding with a series of very dangerous defense mechanisms. It's closely related to paraphallic infantilism, insomuch as a person feels his/her actions have caused damage, so he/she wishes to retreat from the current lifestyle to one in which he/she is incapable of causing harm (to whomever). It leads to very serious psychoses at the worst, and at the least highly debilitating neuroses (nervousness->dangerously low self esteem->serious depression).

Jus my thoughts, anyway
-- CM




ManOwner -> RE: money and sexism in BDSM (8/15/2005 6:06:50 PM)

Veddy eenteresting.

You clearly know way more about psychology than I do, but I was thinking it also could be that the guys I described see submission as the easy way out. Not so much that they are afraid of hurting people, but rather they don't think themselves capable of successfully pursuing a woman. They think that being claimed as property by a woman would save them not only from having to find a girlfriend, but also from having to be responsible for their half of the relationship.

This is the best explanation I can come up with for why a guy on the opposite coast from me whom I have never met and with whom I have chatted with for only a few hours would say to me, "I would be so much happier if you owned me."




cmatrix4761 -> RE: money and sexism in BDSM (8/15/2005 6:23:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ManOwner

Veddy eenteresting.

You clearly know way more about psychology than I do, but I was thinking it also could be that the guys I described see submission as the easy way out. Not so much that they are afraid of hurting people, but rather they don't think themselves capable of successfully pursuing a woman. They think that being claimed as property by a woman would save them not only from having to find a girlfriend, but also from having to be responsible for their half of the relationship.

This is the best explanation I can come up with for why a guy on the opposite coast from me whom I have never met and with whom I have chatted with for only a few hours would say to me, "I would be so much happier if you owned me."


Actually, that's exactly what I meant. I sometimes write like that -- gotta make myself feel smart somehow :D

-- CM




ManOwner -> RE: money and sexism in BDSM (8/15/2005 6:35:45 PM)

Oh, cool. [:)]




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