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How would you .... - 11/13/2007 10:40:42 AM   
JoyfulMistress


Posts: 628
Joined: 10/31/2007
Status: offline 		Imagine you are head over heels in love with the one who you are in a power exchange with ( your sub/slave/maso/bottom/whatever else term fits for you) and they are a virgin in the most basic of ways... time has come for you to deflower your _____ fill in the blank for the proper term___ ....
  Would you incorperate BDSM into taking thier virginity,why or why not ?
 
  What would you do to insure they have a wonderful romantic and memoriable experience ?
 
  Would you go with any of the *nilla* cliche's like candles,music, movies and dinner out  why or why not ?
 
 
I looke forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions
till then I hope you and yours have a wonderful day
Joy

< Message edited by JoyfulMistress -- 11/13/2007 10:43:00 AM >
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RE: How would you .... - 11/13/2007 10:47:03 AM   
oreogirl


Posts: 1039
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		I would hope that my master would be slow, gentle, caring, and above all LOVING.  The other things would be to help me relax.  This is a big moment, not just because I'm losing my virginity, but because I'm sharing this rite of passage with you.  

_____________________________

Submissive does not mean weak.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Ich diene Ihnen, weil ich Sie liebe. Ich liebe Sie, weil ich Ihnen diene. Es macht in meinem Herzen keinen Unterschied.

(in reply to JoyfulMistress)
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RE: How would you .... - 11/13/2007 10:54:34 AM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I would not consider nor be dating a virgin, unless they were so special, so fantastic so irrestiable I would kick myself for years to come for not snatching them up. Virgins, expesially sexual ones do not interest me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JoyfulMistress

Imagine you are head over heels in love with the one who you are in a power exchange with ( your sub/slave/maso/bottom/whatever else term fits for you) and they are a virgin in the most basic of ways... time has come for you to deflower your

(in reply to JoyfulMistress)
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RE: How would you .... - 11/13/2007 11:06:12 AM   
MsIncontrol


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/3/2007
Status: offline 		Of course I would use BDSM in the deflowering. Taking what I want...in the manner in which I want it.  He hopefully has kept it for a reason..waiting for the right person...wanting it to be special..and if he is yours than he would want it this way too I bet. 

I get very little from vanilla style sex...so I would definately have to incorportate some kink.  Of course, I always use candles, music and such during my scenes...to me that is just basic mood setting to me.  As far as movies and dinner...if it is something you enjoy doing with him.

Edited to add: I made it sound like I would not be kind, loving and romantic.  I think it can be ALL of those things at the same time.  BDSM, Kinky, Loving, Romantic and special all put together.

< Message edited by MsIncontrol -- 11/13/2007 11:08:24 AM >

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RE: How would you .... - 11/13/2007 11:06:31 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		That pretty much describes my relationship with Fox.

Other than kissing I was in first in other sexual matters.

I just went step by step, keeping it fully without our Ds dynamic but always aware of his feelings, asking questions and providing constant feedback. He gets a sort of scientific look on his face when we do something new -- big surprise from a physics boy, huh? He loves studying how I react and he's always exceedingly attention. He tells me having sex with me is never exactly the same as though that's a big surprise.

_____________________________

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TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: How would you .... - 11/14/2007 3:06:13 PM   
AFlyInYourWeb


Posts: 284
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JoyfulMistress

  Would you incorperate BDSM into taking thier virginity,why or why not ?
 
  What would you do to insure they have a wonderful romantic and memoriable experience ?
 
  Would you go with any of the *nilla* cliche's like candles,music, movies and dinner out  why or why not ?
 


I believe that BDSM is romantic.  I think it fosters intimacy.  I don't know how much BDSM has been part of the power exchange you have been sharing, but anything he has enjoyed before he is likely to enjoy again.  Perhaps add one or two new twists, if he has had some BDSM experiences with you.  If BDSM has not been a part of your dynamic up until this point, I suggest light bondage, and sensual foreplay like teasing and denial [until you are ready, of course].  Maybe you can put those candles to good use for something other than lighting effect.

I came very close to your scenario in my late teens.  It wasn't my first experience; however, it was my second.  It started with light bondage, just hands tied to a headboard with a couple of scarves.  It was all she really needed.  The teasing rapidly got me into a lather.  After my initial ejaculation, she gradually added in little "upgrades" like a blindfold, and a bare-handed spanking.  At that point, I was in heaven, and willing to try anything she wanted.  However, she was patient and proceeded with slow deliberation. 

It was a positive, life-enhancing experience, and I hope it works out equally well for your virgin.

< Message edited by AFlyInYourWeb -- 11/14/2007 3:12:16 PM >

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(in reply to JoyfulMistress)
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RE: How would you .... - 11/14/2007 4:23:32 PM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		well I am hugely romantic, so I would love to go down the romantic route.   But I would discuss it with my sub 1st.  As for virginal Dominants, well while I am pretty okay with bdsm virgins, sexual virgins, ahhh no.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to AFlyInYourWeb)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How would you .... - 11/14/2007 4:51:03 PM   
JoyfulMistress


Posts: 628
Joined: 10/31/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you all for your input ..
 I will explain a bit of the situation of what is coming up .. My boy , came into this lifestyle a complete virgin both to BDSM and to sex... not to mention knowing true love and being used to a Female touching him etc. We have been working on each in it's own way and now .. now we are at the point where he is wanting to give his *gift* to Me ....which is amazing as that was the very first limit when we first spoke ~gentle smile forms~
 Now I am more than touched and want our relationship to go into this area HOWEVER I am not in the practice of deflowering .. thus I would love some tips or tricks or insight into how to make this the best it possibly can be for this tender souled man I call kitten .

(in reply to LadyLynx)
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RE: How would you .... - 11/14/2007 10:31:49 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Why not ask them what would make it special for them? What makes it special for YOU is that you're the FIRST.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to JoyfulMistress)
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RE: How would you .... - 11/14/2007 11:43:47 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Why not ask them what would make it special for them? What makes it special for YOU is that you're the FIRST.

Master Fire



I agree.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How would you .... - 11/15/2007 4:10:25 AM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		I asked my sub what he thinks, since he IS a boy

The cheeky monkey says "its not every day you lose your virginity..........for the 15th time!".  (Now I have a sneaking suspicion my boy was pulling that scam until he was over 30!!)

But on a  serious note, I had a romantic encounter with a virginal sub boy half my age a few months ago and I just couldn't bring myself to do the de-flowering!  We experimented with lots of BDSM (some of it pretty extreme on reflection) but I  knew he was in love with me and making love would mean far more to him than me....so I set him free. 

By all means use bondage, sensory deprivation (blindfold) and anything else romantic, but most of all be gentle with his heart.  Young submissive men are sweet, romantic, vulnerable and trusting.  First love lasts a lifetime

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 11/15/2007 4:11:41 AM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How would you .... - 11/15/2007 9:23:02 AM   
vampchick88


Posts: 346
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline 		  My idea would be taking my sub with a very romantic day, much like I have planned for when we meet.  A lovely day, lots of romance, lots of candles! so that only candle light brightens the room. Sweet, sensual, compassionate, very much a day of loving acts with the best saved for last.  At least its the way I view it personally...and it has its perks. At the end of the night after I've deflowered him, I would place my collar around his neck.  He would know that he is now "marked" in a sense and will know the bdsm will begin shortly.  First times can leave an impression for life, I'd hope to make it his best.

           M. Lorelei

_____________________________

Proud owner of rubberpet, the best investment of my time, trust, and heart that any Domme could ever dream of.

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How would you .... - 11/15/2007 9:41:44 AM   
InnocentYoungSub


Posts: 210
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Some of the virgin-hating going on in this thread is not very flattering.

Takes me back to being rejected by a girl I was in love with for being too "innocent"(i.e. a virgin). Not too pleasant a memory...


_____________________________

I live for.. I die for.. I breathe for..

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How would you .... - 11/15/2007 6:19:42 PM   
aidan


Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: InnocentYoungSub

Some of the virgin-hating going on in this thread is not very flattering.

Takes me back to being rejected by a girl I was in love with for being too "innocent"(i.e. a virgin). Not too pleasant a memory...


Dude, are you really going to come out and say that? After the posts from Ms. C, vampchick, Ms. Incontrol, and JoyfulMistress? Really?

I, frankly, am getting kind of hot and bothered by all this. It's makes my decision to remain a virgin until I find the right person seem all the wiser. :D


_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to InnocentYoungSub)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How would you .... - 11/15/2007 8:54:02 PM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Why not ask them what would make it special for them? What makes it special for YOU is that you're the FIRST.

Master Fire



Like larell3, this is a post I very much agree with!  When I lost my virginity, it was truly a genuinely disappointing experience for me. 
 
IMO, if there's ever a time a Domme should seriously consider catering to a sub's fantasies, this would definitely be the one!
 
 - pixel
 
   Collared to Majik
 

< Message edited by pixelslave -- 11/15/2007 8:56:34 PM >

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: How would you .... - 11/15/2007 9:04:04 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		This was my Fox to a tee. AS far as I know, he didnt even have much experience with kissing before me.
Sex was an initial limit for us, and I made sure he knew I was not going to push for it. BDSM was integrated in his first time, becasue he wanted it to be. Part of his initial fantasy was to lose it in a non-vanilla manner. I told him that he had to tell me when he was ready, and be sure of it...
And I must say, the line he used was one of the smothest I have ever heard.
"I dont think I want you to respect my limits tonight."
He didnt want to tell me to take it, since that was too out of character for him. He wanted it to be my decision to take it.  However, that was my cue that the barrier was no longer there.

Id agree with the others... find out what your boy's fantasies about his first time are, and see if any of them get your interest.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to pixelslave)
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RE: How would you .... - 11/15/2007 11:13:53 PM   
JoyfulMistress


Posts: 628
Joined: 10/31/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

quote:

ORIGINAL: InnocentYoungSub

Some of the virgin-hating going on in this thread is not very flattering.

Takes me back to being rejected by a girl I was in love with for being too "innocent"(i.e. a virgin). Not too pleasant a memory...Sorry you went through something like that however if you spin it and realize that the girl who did this wasn't the proper One for you .The One for you is out there somewhere and will cherish the fact that you are *innocent* !


Dude, are you really going to come out and say that? After the posts from Ms. C, vampchick, Ms. Incontrol, and JoyfulMistress? Really?

I, frankly, am getting kind of hot and bothered by all this. It's makes my decision to remain a virgin until I find the right person seem all the wiser. :D Your decision to remain a virgin is a great thing and I am proud of you for your choice ... and know the Proper One for you will be more than honored and touched ~Smiles~

(in reply to aidan)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How would you .... - 11/16/2007 6:28:19 AM   
Aubre


Posts: 478
Joined: 12/9/2004
Status: offline 		If you wanted to do a big mindfuck you could tell him it was going to happen, tie him up, do lots of play and tease, get him thinking it was just about to happen then ice him down and lock him into a chastity device, tell him he is going to be a virgin forever, then take him in the rear with a strap-on.

You could always do him later, but the wild mindfuck would be achieved.

(in reply to JoyfulMistress)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How would you .... - 11/16/2007 7:27:10 AM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline 		Even though I may not be a virgin in the actual definition of the word, I choose to remain celebate as an act of devotion to Mistress.  While with Her, I've had offers for sex, but I turned them all down because I am in a committed relationship with Mistress.  So I look at it as "virginity reborn".  I take sex very seriously and while I made poor choices in the past by sleeping with someone I didn't love, deep down in my heart I only want to give that part of myself to the one woman who holds my heart.  So I've decided to remain completely celebate for Her...She has done the same for me.  So, since July when I first introduced myself to Mistress, I haven't had sex with anyone and I will continue that until we meet.  She'll be the one who I give that part of myself to because the feelings are there for both of us.

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.


(in reply to InnocentYoungSub)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How would you .... - 11/16/2007 7:52:16 AM   
JoyfulMistress


Posts: 628
Joined: 10/31/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberpet

Even though I may not be a virgin in the actual definition of the word, I choose to remain celebate as an act of devotion to Mistress.  While with Her, I've had offers for sex, but I turned them all down because I am in a committed relationship with Mistress.  So I look at it as "virginity reborn".  I take sex very seriously and while I made poor choices in the past by sleeping with someone I didn't love, deep down in my heart I only want to give that part of myself to the one woman who holds my heart.  So I've decided to remain completely celebate for Her...She has done the same for me.  So, since July when I first introduced myself to Mistress, I haven't had sex with anyone and I will continue that until we meet.  She'll be the one who I give that part of myself to because the feelings are there for both of us.


rubberpet,
 Your choice to remain only for your Mistress is so endearing.There is something so wonderful about allowing that part to be only for Her and with the feelings that you say are there for both of you ~Smiles~ well I have a feeling you both are in for some wonderful times.Thank you for sharing and I hope you and your Mistress are able to *share breathing space* and more soon .

(in reply to rubberpet)
Profile   Post #: 20
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