quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLilac

Hi

Why would showing emotion lose me respect from my slaves? I am not a robot, and am not about to cover up how I feel, because of some stereotype that Dommes have to be hard, cold, and emotionless.

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ORIGINAL: ItalianSMistress

I just dont think it is appropriate to be seen upset, how can you control someone else, if you can not even control yourself?  I know this may not be the popular opinion, but it is Mine.

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ORIGINAL: Kaiynasha

There has to be a time when a Domme's buttons are pushed or triggered by their sub/slave. I am not talking about screaming and yelling. But something that triggers angers, sadness, and even something very emotional for you.

I know that I have had this happen to me. And sometimes I catch it other times, I catch it after the fact.

My question is how does one deal with it- without losing respect from your sub/slave? And how do you handle it?

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ORIGINAL: Kaiynasha
My question is how does one deal with it- without losing respect from your sub/slave? And how do you handle it?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaiynasha

There has to be a time when a Domme's buttons are pushed or triggered by their sub/slave. I am not talking about screaming and yelling. But something that triggers angers, saddness, and even something very emotional for you.

I know that I have had this happen to me. And sometimes I catch it other times, I catch it after the fact.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaiynasha

My question is how does one deal with it- without losing respect from your sub/slave? And how do you handle it?

quote:

There has to be a time when a Domme's buttons are pushed or triggered by their sub/slave.  I am not talking about screaming and yelling.  But something that triggers angers, sadness, and even something very emotional for you.  I know that I have had this happen to me.  And sometimes I catch it other times, I catch it after the fact.  My question is how does one deal with it - without losing respect from your sub/slave?  And how do you handle it?

quote:

I may look at Mistress as if She is a Goddess from the heavens and place Her upon a pedestal above everything else, but I also remember that She is human and, therefore, has feelings and emotions.  I may say or do something that was meant to be playful, but if She takes what I said and gets angry, sad, or feels something negative, then as Her slave I feel as though I've let Her down in someway.  I try to put myself in Her shoes and see things from Her point of view.  What exactly did I say?  Why did She react the way She did?  Is there something to the story I don't know yet?  These are all questions I ask myself.  Once I can understand what it was that She reacted negatively towards, then I know what not to do the next time.

In other words, even if Mistress gets angry or cries, I do not look at Her any differently or lose any respect for Her whatsoever.  She is still and will always be my Goddess.  For me, I have limitless love and respect for Her and She is the greatest gift I could have ever hoped for.  It is my responsibility to serve Her to the best of my abilities and treat Her like the Goddess She is.  So if that means I have to listen to her vent, scream, or cry, I'll just do what I can to comfort Her and make Her feel better.

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ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued

rubberpet,

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I may look at Mistress as if She is a Goddess from the heavens and place Her upon a pedestal above everything else, but I also remember that She is human and, therefore, has feelings and emotions.  I may say or do something that was meant to be playful, but if She takes what I said and gets angry, sad, or feels something negative, then as Her slave I feel as though I've let Her down in someway.  I try to put myself in Her shoes and see things from Her point of view.  What exactly did I say?  Why did She react the way She did?  Is there something to the story I don't know yet?  These are all questions I ask myself.  Once I can understand what it was that She reacted negatively towards, then I know what not to do the next time.

In other words, even if Mistress gets angry or cries, I do not look at Her any differently or lose any respect for Her whatsoever.  She is still and will always be my Goddess.  For me, I have limitless love and respect for Her and She is the greatest gift I could have ever hoped for.  It is my responsibility to serve Her to the best of my abilities and treat Her like the Goddess She is.  So if that means I have to listen to her vent, scream, or cry, I'll just do what I can to comfort Her and make Her feel better.

I think your sentiments are coming from the right place, but the wording is so utterly flowery and saccharine.  Let's defer the "disappointed your perfect Goddess" perspective and get right to the crux of the matter.

A mistress is a human being just like anybody else.  She owns her feelings, just as you own yours.  It may be true that you do something, inadvertently, that angers your mistress.  Likewise, it may also be true that from time-to-time your mistress makes a mistake that unintentionally angers you.  Mistakes and triggers happen from both sides.  That's real life and real people.  So you communicate to one another, apologize as necessary, move on, and try not to repeat the same patter again.

Empathy is a wonderful tool that all partners should learn.  If you make a mistake, inadvertently trigger anger in your partner, and/or fail to live up to a promise, accepting responsibility, apologizing, and showing empathy is not a bad place to start.  I've never equated this essential relationship skill as the domain of submissives.  Rather, this is a skill all partners have had in any successful, long-term relationship that I've ever been in.  And of course, whatever the infraction, equally important is that after the fact you show your partner you heard them and take steps to avoid the problem happening again.

Elan.