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Do you ever regret...? - 11/14/2007 9:28:03 PM   
nectarine00


Posts: 68
Joined: 1/31/2007
Status: offline 		...avoiding your interest in the lifestyle?

I am inquiring of older/more experienced subs, or anyone for that matter.  Do you feel you delayed getting involved in the D/s lifestyle because of social norms?  Did you ever stay with someone because you got along well in all other areas, even though He or She didn't share your kink, then realize you made a mistake? Or vice versa?

I admit I am young, and very new to this, so I have much to learn about.  But it's always nice to hear the experiences of those who have traveled the path before you.

I thank you for your responses.
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RE: Do you ever regret...? - 11/14/2007 9:45:25 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I have only been travelling this path for about 4 or 5 years, so I do not know if I have been at it much longer than you have.

Do I "regret" not being involved in this lifestyle before? I have no regrets about anything in my life, none, nadda, zero. I do not know if that is because I am getting to this glorious place that I see the purpose behind so many things that I did not see before... and that includes why bad things happen to good people, etc.

I think that younger people can get to the place where they have no regrets too, although it is harder to state that you have none if you have not had the opportunity to 'fail" at a few things.

I have the dominant I have because of my choices. Our relationship is deepening because of some "bad" choices on both of our parts. I would not be with him if it were not for the past choices I made.

In the final analysis, I think everything happens for a reason, and All is Well...If those two statements are true, that means that there is nothing to regret... ever.

Through pain comes growth.. nothing is ever wasted

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 11/14/2007 9:46:39 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to nectarine00)
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RE: Do you ever regret...? - 11/14/2007 9:51:47 PM   
Ysabo


Posts: 21
Joined: 4/8/2007
Status: offline 		I can't say I regret my life to this point, it was all a learning experience and an adventure. I am still unowned in real life, and still looking, but have only been looking for about a year. I don't know if I would have been ready any sooner, there were too many things to go thru before I knew this was the life I sought. Now that I AM here, I have to say I'm excited about the possibilties and opportunities. *smiles*

ysabo

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: Do you ever regret...? - 11/14/2007 10:23:35 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		The only regret i have is many years ago i thought i was bullet proof and could not be hurt .After 3 different times  one where i was almost killed i learned to be more safe .That said the regret turns to thankfull to the lesson learned in keeping myself safe .so i guees no as its a jouney and all things shall be learned given time . 

(in reply to Ysabo)
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RE: Do you ever regret...? - 11/15/2007 1:26:04 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Had I embraced my submission at an earlier age, I might have made much different choices and spared myself a lot of pain.  In theory.  Maybe I would have still found that pain because whether or not I found my submission would not necessarily mean I would suddenly have been mature enough to make smart choices.  I may have just chosen a different kind of "bad guy" as my husband, for all I know.

What I do know, however, is that whatever path I was on led me right to the feet of the most wonderful man I have ever had the pleasure to love.  And if all that I went through is what led me here, then I have absolutely no regrets at all.

(in reply to nectarine00)
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RE: Do you ever regret...? - 11/15/2007 2:40:39 AM   
shootingstar67


Posts: 195
Joined: 10/29/2007
Status: offline 		I don't know yet. I denied it for the last 15 years.  I had my reasons/ I follow it now. I just hope I don't regret that

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: Do you ever regret...? - 11/15/2007 2:44:33 AM   
twistedkytten


Posts: 240
Joined: 9/8/2006
Status: offline 		FR-

Yes, there are things I quite possibly would have done differently had I known...

_____________________________

Obedience is life, girl lives to serve her Master

(in reply to shootingstar67)
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RE: Do you ever regret...? - 11/15/2007 2:46:02 AM   
Decimus


Posts: 174
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		I never avoided it because I knew that I wouldn't be happy living a lie. It was saddening at times when everyone else had someone but I knew eventually I would find someone. Granted I didn't find Aerith she found me, but that isn't the point.

_____________________________

Here is my story that some people have asked for, www.beginningofdreams.com

(in reply to shootingstar67)
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RE: Do you ever regret...? - 11/15/2007 3:04:13 AM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		I've always known that I was very different. I have covered it up, tried to deny it. Forced myself to be someone I wasn't. I was of course unfulfilled angry and unhappy.
Now I'm free to be myself. I have difficulty with everyone. I can't make relationships work other than on a very superficial level because there is always something missing.
I need consensual slaves of my choosing. Always have done always will do. Coming to terms with my dominant nature and my sadism has been a long and painful process. But in the end the only person one can be is themselves.

(in reply to shootingstar67)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Do you ever regret...? - 11/15/2007 4:43:03 AM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline 		I was with a girl who was somewhat open-minded about kink, but with her having a young child and a very meddling mother, there was hardly any time for us as a couple, much less as a "dominant"/submissive couple.  Near the last six months of the relationship, she went from a sexually aggressive girl to about as kinky as a box full of kittens.  I was starving for my kink, but was trying to make the relationship work because I loved her.  I look back on it and realize that I need both love and kink in my relationship.  I don't care how well I click with a girl, if she doesn't share that part of my life, then it will never work.  Now, I'm with the most amazing girl I could have ever hoped for.  She is faithful, loving, and tender hearted, on top of being insatiable, perverted, and dominant as hell!  Oooh rah for the dominant gothic girls!!!

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.


(in reply to lateralist1)
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RE: Do you ever regret...? - 11/15/2007 5:03:02 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nectarine00

...avoiding your interest in the lifestyle?

I am inquiring of older/more experienced subs, or anyone for that matter.  Do you feel you delayed getting involved in the D/s lifestyle because of social norms?  Did you ever stay with someone because you got along well in all other areas, even though He or She didn't share your kink, then realize you made a mistake? Or vice versa?

I admit I am young, and very new to this, so I have much to learn about.  But it's always nice to hear the experiences of those who have traveled the path before you.

I thank you for your responses.


Nope; but then I never avoided it. I started at 19 and am still immersed within

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to nectarine00)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Do you ever regret...? - 11/15/2007 6:23:12 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		no i don't regret not starting in this lifestyle earlier when i was single, 20 and without UMs. life. i feel it's good thing i "discovered" my submissive (about 4yrs ago) when i was at the lowest point of my life - marriage failing, eldest UM's traumatic accident, and other factors.  i don't think i would be the submissive i am today if started while in my 20s.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to nectarine00)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Do you ever regret...? - 11/15/2007 6:32:57 AM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline 		Actually, there are times i regret not staying "in the closet" longer. If i didn't have the information available that i did, to plant the seed of hope, i'm sure i would have. i'm not sure that life would have been better, but it would have been less complicated. i get really tired of complicated 

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
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RE: Do you ever regret...? - 11/15/2007 9:32:37 AM   
nectarine00


Posts: 68
Joined: 1/31/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you all for your responses so far.  I guess i shouldn't have used the word regret.  Regret makes it seem worse than it is.

(in reply to petdave)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Do you ever regret...? - 11/15/2007 9:34:40 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nectarine00

Thank you all for your responses so far.  I guess i shouldn't have used the word regret.  Regret makes it seem worse than it is.


Even if you put it as "do you wish you had known before" my answer would be the same

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to nectarine00)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Do you ever regret...? - 11/15/2007 9:35:09 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nectarine00

Thank you all for your responses so far.  I guess i shouldn't have used the word regret.  Regret makes it seem worse than it is.

NO, actually, I think regret is a good way to say it. I have talked to many, who later in their life have stated the same thing...that they wish they had gotten involved much earlier...that they regret not being a part of BDSM from the first moment that they found an interest.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to nectarine00)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Do you ever regret...? - 11/15/2007 9:44:45 AM   
mhawk


Posts: 509
Joined: 11/5/2007
From: Washington
Status: offline



well,i stepped into finding out my interst in BDSM in the mid 90's. for sometime i was involved with someone who was interested in it as well but,after we went our separate ways i closed it off for quite some time.for at least 4 years.

i would try relationship after relationship and it just was not satisfactory for me.it was jsut a few months ago that i got active again. i had been with one master who turned out to not be much of anything early in the summer so i realised i needed to leave. mostly due to lack of training,ended up in more of a "bed buddie" circumstance.I was dismayed after that,so much to the point i had almost given up entirely.

now, i'm glad i didn't give up. on another board i had made a post asking "where are the real ones". to my surprise someone sent me a memo and message regarding the post i made.we spent a good bit of time talking via email and on the phone.it was decided eventually that i was to come here in the start of October.

now i am happily with my Lord and Owner and His wife in their home and here for the long term under agreement from all of us. and i do not regret a single moment of taking that leap of faith again. if i had not decided to i would not be here where i am.this is the happiest i have been in years.



(in reply to nectarine00)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Do you ever regret...? - 11/15/2007 10:28:06 AM   
gorgeous1


Posts: 367
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline 		I always knew that I wanted and needed something more. I was the girl who dreamed of being the damsel in distress. My husband said he had always been the naughty boy who wanted to cause damsels to be in distress! I know now we were destined to meet, so how we both got to that point made us who we are. I'm glad I didn't aggressively try to meet a sexually dominant male (I just always ended up with controlling, domineering jerks) because I am afraid I would have stayed in a relationship solely for the sexual gratification. I met my husband 11 years ago. Before we had sex, we both knew we wanted it kinky, but had never really had much experience with it. We stepped into this adventure together, and have learned what we like and how to do it together, and I am oh so glad that I never had these experiences with another man. It's something we have been able to give each other exclusively, and that it so precious to me. I sincerely hope all of you looking for that special someone to share love and kink find it. It's out there...be choosy, respect yourself, and wait for Mr or Ms right, they're waiting for you.

(in reply to mhawk)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Do you ever regret...? - 11/15/2007 10:35:39 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I didn't choose my interest in the lifestyle; I was born this way.

I DO regret my choice in partners; the years wasted on the wrong ones.

Now I am wiser and alone; regrettably.

(in reply to gorgeous1)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Do you ever regret...? - 11/15/2007 12:42:48 PM   
peterK50


Posts: 433
Joined: 1/12/2006
Status: offline 		I can only assume the reason I didn't start sooner is I wasn't ready.

_____________________________

Religion Is About Seeking Knowledge, Not Knowing All The Answers.

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