Do you ever regret...? (Full Version)

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nectarine00 -> Do you ever regret...? (11/14/2007 9:28:03 PM)

...avoiding your interest in the lifestyle?

I am inquiring of older/more experienced subs, or anyone for that matter.  Do you feel you delayed getting involved in the D/s lifestyle because of social norms?  Did you ever stay with someone because you got along well in all other areas, even though He or She didn't share your kink, then realize you made a mistake? Or vice versa?

I admit I am young, and very new to this, so I have much to learn about.  But it's always nice to hear the experiences of those who have traveled the path before you.

I thank you for your responses.



juliaoceania -> RE: Do you ever regret...? (11/14/2007 9:45:25 PM)

I have only been travelling this path for about 4 or 5 years, so I do not know if I have been at it much longer than you have.

Do I "regret" not being involved in this lifestyle before? I have no regrets about anything in my life, none, nadda, zero. I do not know if that is because I am getting to this glorious place that I see the purpose behind so many things that I did not see before... and that includes why bad things happen to good people, etc.

I think that younger people can get to the place where they have no regrets too, although it is harder to state that you have none if you have not had the opportunity to 'fail" at a few things.

I have the dominant I have because of my choices. Our relationship is deepening because of some "bad" choices on both of our parts. I would not be with him if it were not for the past choices I made.

In the final analysis, I think everything happens for a reason, and All is Well...If those two statements are true, that means that there is nothing to regret... ever.

Through pain comes growth.. nothing is ever wasted



Ysabo -> RE: Do you ever regret...? (11/14/2007 9:51:47 PM)

I can't say I regret my life to this point, it was all a learning experience and an adventure. I am still unowned in real life, and still looking, but have only been looking for about a year. I don't know if I would have been ready any sooner, there were too many things to go thru before I knew this was the life I sought. Now that I AM here, I have to say I'm excited about the possibilties and opportunities. *smiles*

ysabo



azropedntied -> RE: Do you ever regret...? (11/14/2007 10:23:35 PM)

The only regret i have is many years ago i thought i was bullet proof and could not be hurt .After 3 different times  one where i was almost killed i learned to be more safe .That said the regret turns to thankfull to the lesson learned in keeping myself safe .so i guees no as its a jouney and all things shall be learned given time . 



ownedgirlie -> RE: Do you ever regret...? (11/15/2007 1:26:04 AM)

Had I embraced my submission at an earlier age, I might have made much different choices and spared myself a lot of pain.  In theory.  Maybe I would have still found that pain because whether or not I found my submission would not necessarily mean I would suddenly have been mature enough to make smart choices.  I may have just chosen a different kind of "bad guy" as my husband, for all I know.

What I do know, however, is that whatever path I was on led me right to the feet of the most wonderful man I have ever had the pleasure to love.  And if all that I went through is what led me here, then I have absolutely no regrets at all.



shootingstar67 -> RE: Do you ever regret...? (11/15/2007 2:40:39 AM)

I don't know yet. I denied it for the last 15 years.  I had my reasons/ I follow it now. I just hope I don't regret that



twistedkytten -> RE: Do you ever regret...? (11/15/2007 2:44:33 AM)

FR-

Yes, there are things I quite possibly would have done differently had I known...



Decimus -> RE: Do you ever regret...? (11/15/2007 2:46:02 AM)

I never avoided it because I knew that I wouldn't be happy living a lie. It was saddening at times when everyone else had someone but I knew eventually I would find someone. Granted I didn't find Aerith she found me, but that isn't the point.



lateralist1 -> RE: Do you ever regret...? (11/15/2007 3:04:13 AM)

I've always known that I was very different. I have covered it up, tried to deny it. Forced myself to be someone I wasn't. I was of course unfulfilled angry and unhappy.
Now I'm free to be myself. I have difficulty with everyone. I can't make relationships work other than on a very superficial level because there is always something missing.
I need consensual slaves of my choosing. Always have done always will do. Coming to terms with my dominant nature and my sadism has been a long and painful process. But in the end the only person one can be is themselves.



rubberpet -> RE: Do you ever regret...? (11/15/2007 4:43:03 AM)

I was with a girl who was somewhat open-minded about kink, but with her having a young child and a very meddling mother, there was hardly any time for us as a couple, much less as a "dominant"/submissive couple.  Near the last six months of the relationship, she went from a sexually aggressive girl to about as kinky as a box full of kittens.  I was starving for my kink, but was trying to make the relationship work because I loved her.  I look back on it and realize that I need both love and kink in my relationship.  I don't care how well I click with a girl, if she doesn't share that part of my life, then it will never work.  Now, I'm with the most amazing girl I could have ever hoped for.  She is faithful, loving, and tender hearted, on top of being insatiable, perverted, and dominant as hell!  Oooh rah for the dominant gothic girls!!!



IrishMist -> RE: Do you ever regret...? (11/15/2007 5:03:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: nectarine00

...avoiding your interest in the lifestyle?

I am inquiring of older/more experienced subs, or anyone for that matter.  Do you feel you delayed getting involved in the D/s lifestyle because of social norms?  Did you ever stay with someone because you got along well in all other areas, even though He or She didn't share your kink, then realize you made a mistake? Or vice versa?

I admit I am young, and very new to this, so I have much to learn about.  But it's always nice to hear the experiences of those who have traveled the path before you.

I thank you for your responses.


Nope; but then I never avoided it. I started at 19 and am still immersed within [:)]



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Do you ever regret...? (11/15/2007 6:23:12 AM)

no i don't regret not starting in this lifestyle earlier when i was single, 20 and without UMs. life. i feel it's good thing i "discovered" my submissive (about 4yrs ago) when i was at the lowest point of my life - marriage failing, eldest UM's traumatic accident, and other factors.  i don't think i would be the submissive i am today if started while in my 20s.



petdave -> RE: Do you ever regret...? (11/15/2007 6:32:57 AM)

Actually, there are times i regret not staying "in the closet" longer. If i didn't have the information available that i did, to plant the seed of hope, i'm sure i would have. i'm not sure that life would have been better, but it would have been less complicated. i get really tired of complicated [&:]



nectarine00 -> RE: Do you ever regret...? (11/15/2007 9:32:37 AM)

Thank you all for your responses so far.  I guess i shouldn't have used the word regret.  Regret makes it seem worse than it is.



juliaoceania -> RE: Do you ever regret...? (11/15/2007 9:34:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: nectarine00

Thank you all for your responses so far.  I guess i shouldn't have used the word regret.  Regret makes it seem worse than it is.


Even if you put it as "do you wish you had known before" my answer would be the same



IrishMist -> RE: Do you ever regret...? (11/15/2007 9:35:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: nectarine00

Thank you all for your responses so far.  I guess i shouldn't have used the word regret.  Regret makes it seem worse than it is.

NO, actually, I think regret is a good way to say it. I have talked to many, who later in their life have stated the same thing...that they wish they had gotten involved much earlier...that they regret not being a part of BDSM from the first moment that they found an interest.



mhawk -> RE: Do you ever regret...? (11/15/2007 9:44:45 AM)





well,i stepped into finding out my interst in BDSM in the mid 90's. for sometime i was involved with someone who was interested in it as well but,after we went our separate ways i closed it off for quite some time.for at least 4 years.

i would try relationship after relationship and it just was not satisfactory for me.it was jsut a few months ago that i got active again. i had been with one master who turned out to not be much of anything early in the summer so i realised i needed to leave. mostly due to lack of training,ended up in more of a "bed buddie" circumstance.I was dismayed after that,so much to the point i had almost given up entirely.

now, i'm glad i didn't give up. on another board i had made a post asking "where are the real ones". to my surprise someone sent me a memo and message regarding the post i made.we spent a good bit of time talking via email and on the phone.it was decided eventually that i was to come here in the start of October.

now i am happily with my Lord and Owner and His wife in their home and here for the long term under agreement from all of us. and i do not regret a single moment of taking that leap of faith again. if i had not decided to i would not be here where i am.this is the happiest i have been in years.





gorgeous1 -> RE: Do you ever regret...? (11/15/2007 10:28:06 AM)

I always knew that I wanted and needed something more. I was the girl who dreamed of being the damsel in distress. My husband said he had always been the naughty boy who wanted to cause damsels to be in distress! I know now we were destined to meet, so how we both got to that point made us who we are. I'm glad I didn't aggressively try to meet a sexually dominant male (I just always ended up with controlling, domineering jerks) because I am afraid I would have stayed in a relationship solely for the sexual gratification. I met my husband 11 years ago. Before we had sex, we both knew we wanted it kinky, but had never really had much experience with it. We stepped into this adventure together, and have learned what we like and how to do it together, and I am oh so glad that I never had these experiences with another man. It's something we have been able to give each other exclusively, and that it so precious to me. I sincerely hope all of you looking for that special someone to share love and kink find it. It's out there...be choosy, respect yourself, and wait for Mr or Ms right, they're waiting for you.



sexyred1 -> RE: Do you ever regret...? (11/15/2007 10:35:39 AM)

I didn't choose my interest in the lifestyle; I was born this way.

I DO regret my choice in partners; the years wasted on the wrong ones.

Now I am wiser and alone; regrettably.



peterK50 -> RE: Do you ever regret...? (11/15/2007 12:42:48 PM)

I can only assume the reason I didn't start sooner is I wasn't ready.



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