Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Value vs Status


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Value vs Status Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Value vs Status - 11/15/2007 1:02:40 PM   
DarkDaddyZ


Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline 		To me the value AND status is Ying and Yang. 

_____________________________

"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Value vs Status - 11/15/2007 1:18:04 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Sorry, but I disagree. For myself; I don't want to be of equal status or value, and I would not be happy with a person who saw me as such.



Hear, hear.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Value vs Status - 11/15/2007 1:22:38 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedShylah

The D/s and M/s relationship are not equal,  they are balenced, there is a diffrince.
 

Perhaps your brand of d/s and m/s does not allow for equality of value but others do.
quote:

If you want equal then don't do D/s or M/s (as we say here in Utah, "if you wanna be equal got get married i the Tempel")... I am not equal to my Mater in our relationship, I do not have any say in the desisions he makes; some times my input is asked for, but many times he chooses diffrently then I would have liked... the only real right I have is the right to leave at any time.

 
Valyraen makes his decisions and I obey them. That does make me lesser to him or diminish my value as a person or in the relationship. My status in this relationship is to obey, but my value is the same. Without me the relationship does not exist, exactly the same as without him the relationship does not exist.
 
To say other relationships are not valid d/s or m/s because they believe the two or more people are equal in value strikes me as very odd. Fortunately, those who do believe this do not need your blessing to be entirely blissful in their relationships.
quote:


I'd even go so far as to say that we are not equal in the BDSM community... he is respected for more because the donimant personality is very public and outward in it's expression. I may be respected by him for the things I do, but most people don't see what I do.

Not every dominant is very public and outward. Yours is. Maybe most or are you have encountered are. We have yet to encounter a real life situation where Valyraen was granted any sort of greater respect simply by virtue of him being my owner. The BDSM community varies greatly depending on where you are and what sort of BDSM community you want to belong to.
quote:


Yes, we are all equal as human beings, but e are not equal in the relationship.

Shylah


I believe that is the point. If it was just all equal the terms "value" and "status" would not have been used. We regard ourselves as equal though my status in the relationship is to obey.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to OwnedShylah)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Value vs Status - 11/15/2007 5:28:41 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		By inherent value, what I mean, is that both are human beings that in terms of their place in the world are equal. We are all sons and daughters, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, employee, employer etc.... We all have value in this world. One's worth in this world cannot be measured and cannot be placed in a heirarchy. You could argue that there are people of little worth. Those that have chosen to use their life to take from the world and use and abuse the people around them, but hopefully those aren't the type we'd be talking about being in a relationship with. So when I'm talking of equality, I'm speaking of the general worth of a decent human being.

IMO-just because I enter into a D/s relationship with another person it doesn't mean that somehow that the other person is now worth less than me. Even within the relationship. No way!

I think there are times that a sub might want to feel that s/he is less and sometimes that becomes part of the dynamic for taking the dynamic to another level. But I don't think in terms of "reality" that either is ever better, greater or of more value than the other.

I like how Aquatic phrased it and the quote she used. That's how I see it. Except when I saw the word "status" I was not thinking of it in terms of the role within the relationship, but status as in societal status.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Value vs Status - 11/15/2007 5:38:22 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

By inherent value, what I mean, is that both are human beings that in terms of their place in the world are equal. We are all sons and daughters, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, employee, employer etc.... <snip>So when I'm talking of equality, I'm speaking of the general worth of a decent human being.

<snip>


with the word "decent" you are saying that people who are indecent or not decent are less valuable that others....so how can that value be inherent?

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Value vs Status - 11/15/2007 5:53:25 PM   
goodgirl08


Posts: 145
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline 		Value is difficult. I have a big problem with Doms thinking I have lower value as a human being than they do...or that I am less capable outside of the BDSM world. As a slave I can accept that I have a lot to learn and that I should/want to put my Master's needs above my own...still, it would bother me if he actually thought that my needs had less value as opposed to recognizing that I am choosing to put his first.

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Value vs Status - 11/15/2007 7:08:46 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

If you're looking for a quality that's inherent, "value" isn't your word.


We place varying value on the various inherent qualities of a person.  We come up with a subjective value that is often compared to some other reference point that we are familiar with.  We compare value of Person X with Person Y.... sometimes one of those is ourselves.  Sometimes we even compare a person to an tangible object... He is worth less than a bag of shit!!!!

In the end we do make valuations... being able to quantify those very subjective valuations are another matter all together.

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 11/15/2007 7:10:52 PM >

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Value vs Status - 11/15/2007 8:15:55 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

By inherent value, what I mean, is that both are human beings that in terms of their place in the world are equal. We are all sons and daughters, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, employee, employer etc.... <snip>So when I'm talking of equality, I'm speaking of the general worth of a decent human being.

<snip>


with the word "decent" you are saying that people who are indecent or not decent are less valuable that others....so how can that value be inherent?


All depends on what you mean by indecent. I'm not talking about being nekkid here. I think I explained it well enough in my post. You snipped the part that explained what I meant by "decent".

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Value vs Status - 11/16/2007 6:34:16 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		i'm not talking about being naked either....if a person is less valuable because of what they choose to do then that is not inherent...

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 49
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Value vs Status Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.063