quote:


Pass this on to all your girls, this
is so funny and true!
 
 
The Man Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­  
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

  Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules "
>From the female side.  
  Now here are the rules from the male side.    

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!  
1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat .
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1.. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the   other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself..

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong..
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1 You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.   Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping..

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -  

 to give them a bigger laugh.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ocilla

Ehh I'm not buying it.  I may have to rewrite that list.

I'd rewrite it too, but was just passing it along for a few grins.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

It's funny, if not just a little inaccurate.

I'll never understand what the $%^&*ing issue with the toilet seat is, though.  I usually leave the thing closed, so that nobody gets an unfair advantage anyway.

Stephan

Funny you mention that.  I was raised in a house consisting primarily of women and was humiliated by one of my first sitters because I didn't know how to stand at the toilet and pee.  I don't know if I'm lazy or what, but I still tend to prefer to sit.  So no issues with toilet seats being left propped open here.  However, my kids do have a tendancy to drop things in them though when the lids aren't closed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: porphyria

"Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we."
 
This is certainly my favorite....he did have such luck finding trade routes to India and China. 

Actually, he was very close!  He just needed a shipfull of shovels and a few tribes of native labor to dig the Panama Canal about 500 years earlier than planned, along with Leondardo DaVinci to design it for him.  Knowing how to make your own shortcuts is apparently a skill he just didn't possess!

Personally, I've never really understood this one with men anyway.  I was a Boy Scout with a good sense of direction who could read a map and compass, follow the stars and tell north by the side of a tree growing moss, plus also now own my own GPS for use in the back country.  You might say I have little trouble finding my way through the remotest of wilderness.  If I can't find some "off the beaten path" place myself, they probably don't really want to be found!   However, I will stop and ask for directions when the maps don't at all match the road signs.  Unfortunately, I usually get some dipstick who has less of a clue than I do where the place I'm looking for is actually located at.