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RE: Would you tell - 11/16/2007 3:05:25 PM

stateira

Posts: 48
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline

I don't know if this will help answer your question...but I can tell you what I did in a situation like the one you are asking about.

I met a Dom, on this site as a matter of fact, and we talked for months. He talked himself up and we talked a lot...so we decided to meet. He took a bus down to San Antonio, which is close to where I lived at the time, and stayed in a hotel there for a few days. Then, I went up to a small town near Killeen...about two hours away. I had decided by that time that I could trust him. Well once I was there, he was not the same person as he was in San Antonio. He was cruel, and he was abusive. He took my phone, wouldn't allow me to use his, and physically kept me from going near the door so I couldn't get out of the house. He wrote emails to everyone on my address lists that he knew I had ever been associated with and threatened their lives and their families. He beat me with his belt buckle, actually the entire belt, a few times. and not just on my backside, either. When I finally decided to stand up for myself he tried to kill me, because "no submissive talks to him that way." Literally tried to kill me, on top of me with hands around my neck...everything went black while I was trying to fight him off...then I don't really remember how he got off of me. I remember knocking one of his teeth loose, though. Then he threatened me with his army knife, similar to the one that was in Crocodile Dundee, although not quite as big. No more details needed. I was finally able to find where he had hidden my phone while he had gone out to his driveway to talk to his neighbor, and then while he was sleeping I made a phone call to a friend of mine who happened to be a navy SEAL. He figured out where I was and had the entire police force on the front porch within 15 minutes.

The police escorted me out and asked if I wanted him arrested. At that particular point, I just wanted to go home, so I said no. Because I knew if I said yes, that meant i would have had to look at him again. Once I was gone and they let him go, he went into my email accounts, how I don't know, and deleted every email I had and changed the passwords so I couldn't get to them. Yahoo was really uncooperative about closing my account, so there is still an account open that I can't get to with my picture on it. I did try to get a restraining order, but I live in a stupid little town and the lady said "well, it doesn't look like you are in any immediate danger, so you're not eligible." However, they did have a police car patrolling my block 24/7 for a few days.

I tried to warn others about him, but the problem is since I met him on this site, and he still has a profile on this site, I couldn't say anything about it because it would be deleted since those are collarme rules.

For those who wonder, well why didn't she just leave while he was sleeping...he didn't sleep much, but when he did i had to lay with him, and we slept on a twin size bed with his arms wrapped around me. He was a light sleeper so there was no way I could get out of that position without waking him up.

< Message edited by stateira -- 11/16/2007 3:13:48 PM >

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RE: Would you tell - 11/16/2007 3:27:18 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

I've never really been all that involved with an abusive dominant, but I have been with a few certified nut cases over the years. But I always figured that they were mainly nut cases with me, so some other submissive might have the perfect stable relationship with such a person, so unless the future submissive was asking me personally for information about the woman, I'd probably never say anything.

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RE: Would you tell - 11/16/2007 4:46:52 PM

NLitendLady

Posts: 117
Joined: 7/7/2005
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I know abuse should never be returned with abuse or violence. What I did not make clear was he threatened both my life and the lives of my children should I leave or do anything to stop his abuse. He was starting to feel more free to start in on the kids. I could not tolerate that. I had to stop him from doing anything to the kids and to stop what was happening to me. The police were ineffective with protection. A restraining order does not stop people until after they have broken it. I never struck back nor did I act on the threat. I merely made it known it had been a thought. It was enough to make him think I was no longer going to tolerate his abuse and it stopped and he began chasing other women in order to leave.

I know of at least 3 women who have suffered at his hand since me. I feel some guilt for that as I was remiss in doing anything other than securing my own safety and that of my children. He's still out there and still performing his form of "dominance."

I'm still dealing with a very confused and angry son who watched this man throw his mother down and beat and kick her right in front of him because his mother was protecting her son. There are all kinds of repercussions still coming down and he's been gone for several years now. We were not only Ms we were husband and wife and had a family.

He's running free and doing his thing wherever he pleases. I'm picking up the pieces after his attempt at destruction.

< Message edited by NLitendLady -- 11/16/2007 4:52:28 PM >

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