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Taking someone under consideration - 8/9/2005 7:02:40 AM   
gentlesurrender


Posts: 99
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		I would like to know the different approaches and ways you handle taking on a submissive/slave

I have been told i am under consideration

What does that mean for you in talking to a sub/slave?
What would you be looking for from her to show she wants more?
What would put you off going further with her?

and what would your next steps be in progressing things further?



_____________________________

We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy" Walter Anderson
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Taking someone under consideration - 8/9/2005 8:29:08 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Interesting that you were simply TOLD you were under consideration without being asked if that's what you wanted or explained what that meant by the person who supposedly is considering you?

Here's a recent thread
Under Consideration

(in reply to gentlesurrender)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Taking someone under consideration - 8/9/2005 8:39:13 AM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		i think it means, we have a loose relationship that can get stronger if we like one another.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Taking someone under consideration - 8/9/2005 11:58:08 AM   
gentlesurrender


Posts: 99
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		thanks for the link Emmerald

seems not only are there different forms of such a practice there are many different views of what it means.

im not doing anything online with this Master, we have been chatting, we have met, we got on really well and discussing things further. i asked where we were in our discussions and he said i was 'under consideration'.

i wanted to know under my other thread how to deal with that initial excitement but balanced with reason and logic of not rushing into things. I wanted to gauge what it means to Master's and what could make it or break for them. Not wanting to step out of line, but at the same time still being me. If there were stages or not to any. Is it something that He will progress and ask or will He be expecting me to asking for his collar?

_____________________________

We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy" Walter Anderson

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Taking someone under consideration - 8/9/2005 1:42:03 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		i think that the best way to deal whit this is to talk whit him, sit him down and ask him what he wants, tell him your are confused. If he belives you sitting him down to talk are being pushy, then find yourself another Master, comunication is so inportant. You see what i would ahve belived pushy, or normal or desierable, another might think to be somthing completly different. You must realy speak whit your potential Master, and let him tell you what he belive in theese matters. To many D/s relationships brake up due to lack of comunication, the Dom want one thing and the sub want another and they get werry hurt when this do not mix.

Only other way for us to know what he will want is to become real powerful psycics.

(in reply to gentlesurrender)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Taking someone under consideration - 8/16/2005 3:21:11 PM   
anopheles


Posts: 241
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline 		I'm not sure that you can be "told" that you are under consideration. To me, taking a submissive under consideration is basically getting to know that person, in a courtship type relationship. I wouldn't expect under consideration to be expected to do anything for me. Play within strict guidelines is certainly acceptable in my opinion during the "consideration" phase, as it allows you to get to know each other's styles and what you respond to, and allows you to more accurately deliver to each other what you promise, if/when you decide to confer or bestow ownership.

_____________________________

You've got me so high, my shoes are scraping the sky -- for my Luvdragon

(in reply to gentlesurrender)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Taking someone under consideration - 8/16/2005 3:35:39 PM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		wouldn't you discuss a collar of consideration??? just my thought. Another question, is this a cyber thing or R/t. I don't quite understand a cyber collar, but thats me

(in reply to gentlesurrender)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Taking someone under consideration - 8/17/2005 5:24:41 AM   
ElektraUkM


Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hello gentlesurrender,

My suggestion would be for you to ask more questions of him: Things like, what does he mean by telling you you're 'under consideration'? What does he expect of you? What can you expect of him? etc.

My first thought when I read your posts was grrrr. he's taking advantage of your lack of knowledge, failing to explain things and trying to get away with things! But that's perhaps just my natural suspicious nature!

On second thoughts it could easily be that he assumes you know more than you do, that you're a little shy of asking things so as not to appear pushy (that's me, usually), and so on. The key to a relationship like this is communication (you'll hear that said a lot!)... and part of that is you communicating your ignorance and uncertainty to him. Doing any less than that is dishonest to yourself and to him.

Good luck,

~ Elektra

(in reply to sweetpettjenny)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Taking someone under consideration - 8/17/2005 5:54:38 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline 		Just an observation, <not a flame, or seeking attack> but I find it interesting that the Forum is "Ask a Master," and most responses appear to come from submissives. Would be interested to get the Master's perspective in the forum too. :)

Don't get me wrong...I enjoy hearing the view of everyone, but when forums are detailed specifically to...in this case, "Ask a Master"....I would think the person proposing a question might enjoy hearing from Doms too.

As a FemDom/Top, I do read this section to hear the prespective of the Dom AND sub, but find it odd sometimes that many threads here (in "Ask a Master") are filled primarily with the POV from the submissive.

K

(in reply to gentlesurrender)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Taking someone under consideration - 8/17/2005 7:35:56 AM   
ChereeAmoor


Posts: 185
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline 		If someone told me that I was "under consideration" my first response would be, "So are you".

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Taking someone under consideration - 8/17/2005 9:00:06 AM   
Angrylibrarian


Posts: 214
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChereeAmoor

If someone told me that I was "under consideration" my first response would be, "So are you".



Exactly. This whole "consideration" thing would be more meaningful if it didn't actually mean "Im considering you so don't talk to anyone else while I consider you and the other four girls I'm considering"

(in reply to ChereeAmoor)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Taking someone under consideration - 8/17/2005 10:19:05 AM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gentlesurrender

I would like to know the different approaches and ways you handle taking on a submissive/slave

I have been told i am under consideration

What does that mean for you in talking to a sub/slave?
What would you be looking for from her to show she wants more?
What would put you off going further with her?

and what would your next steps be in progressing things further?



What is it mean for me personally? Nothing. Put it into the context of a vanilla relationship. You meet someone at a club and decide to go out a few times. You like each other. Does this mean that you are planning out your lives together? Are you considering what to name your children? What colors will you have at the wedding? Or do you enjoy the moment and allow things to progress naturally?

It seems to me that the whole consideration business is like putting a carrot on a stick. How would you feel if someone you had been dating said, "I'm thinking about having a formalized relationship with you at some point." No emotion... no hint of committment... no decisiveness just a wishy-washy non-committal way of keeping you chasing the carrot.

What would I look for to see if she wanted more?

Again...carrot/stick. I don't play games like that. If the relationship is going to work...it does. Breakups happen...we have all had them at some point. It's never the end of the world.

What would put me off? Dishonesty in actions or words. Leaving girly stuff in my bathroom. Whining. Dramatics. Inability to grow.
(Again...same things that would discourage me from developing any other relationship further.)

My next steps? If this was someone I felt comfortable with and felt that I would want to spend more of my time with her...I will. If I decide to collar her...I will.

~Thorns



_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to gentlesurrender)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Taking someone under consideration - 8/17/2005 11:04:44 AM   
nenakajira


Posts: 221
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrThorns


What would put me off? Dishonesty in actions or words. Leaving girly stuff in my bathroom. Whining. Dramatics. Inability to grow.
(Again...same things that would discourage me from developing any other relationship further.)

~Thorns




You mean we can't leave 10 tons of products in your bathroom???? You.. you.. abusive man you. :P

(in reply to MrThorns)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Taking someone under consideration - 8/17/2005 3:39:44 PM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Heh...

Absolutely no girly products in Master's bathroom. No scrunchies, no makeup, no pads, tampons, hair care products. Nope...nuh-uh...not happenin'

Wonder if my name will now show up on some abuser hotline.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to nenakajira)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Taking someone under consideration - 8/17/2005 4:42:15 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Those types of products that we are now focusing on, will be allowed in my bathroom, but I have a great imagination and they will turn into play....that may not be such nice play?

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to MrThorns)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Taking someone under consideration - 8/17/2005 11:56:35 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Small story I was told a few moments ago by a sub I have known for years… Last weekend she was at a party and some jerk of a Master ordered her to kneel to his cock and if he were satisfied with her “service” he would consider a collar for her. Now it is important to understand that she is lesbian and will never play or be collared by a man.. Soo she knelt obediently and unzipped his fly and extracted his limpet.. before he realised what was happening, she pierced him with a safety pin and clipped it shut and sweetly told him that that was his collar and he had failed her test…. Knowing them both (he is a complete idiot all the time and she is fast in restraining people and a police officer in her “Spare” time, I’m inclined to believe her story.)

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Taking someone under consideration - 8/18/2005 9:06:40 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Small story I was told a few moments ago by a sub I have known for years… Last weekend she was at a party and some jerk of a Master ordered her to kneel to his cock and if he were satisfied with her “service” he would consider a collar for her. Now it is important to understand that she is lesbian and will never play or be collared by a man.. Soo she knelt obediently and unzipped his fly and extracted his limpet.. before he realised what was happening, she pierced him with a safety pin and clipped it shut and sweetly told him that that was his collar and he had failed her test…. Knowing them both (he is a complete idiot all the time and she is fast in restraining people and a police officer in her “Spare” time, I’m inclined to believe her story.)


ROFL!!!!

First off, I can't believe someone would actually be as crass and presumptuous as that in public.

Secondly, I can't believe how stupid he is to put his cock in a position like that!!!!!

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Taking someone under consideration - 11/3/2005 1:10:43 AM   
Jacques1000


Posts: 273
Joined: 10/30/2005
Status: offline
Ouch ! IB, you cad, I laughed so hard that I spilt mango juice all down my keyboard !
HELP> I think I am having cardiac arrest. :-P

Oh dear. I take it he is more..erm..circum..spect about using the collar/consideration taunt now...?

<<still tremulous with laughter>>

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Taking someone under consideration - 11/3/2005 1:11:34 PM   
Soulhuntre


Posts: 223
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gentlesurrender
What does that mean for you in talking to a sub/slave?


It means exactly as it sounds. I am evaluating her performance in a more specific way to see if she may be granted an opportunity to enter service.

quote:

ORIGINAL: gentlesurrender
What would you be looking for from her to show she wants more?


Obedience. Dedication.

quote:

ORIGINAL: gentlesurrender
What would put you off going further with her?


Lack of obdience or decication. Lack of skill or ability.

quote:

ORIGINAL: gentlesurrender
and what would your next steps be in progressing things further?


More extensive evaluations. Letting her learn more and more of the protocols expected.

(in reply to gentlesurrender)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Taking someone under consideration - 11/3/2005 1:36:40 PM   
Soulhuntre


Posts: 223
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2
First off, I can't believe someone would actually be as crass and presumptuous as that in public.

Secondly, I can't believe how stupid he is to put his cock in a position like that!!!!!


Me, I find it disturbing how often stories liek this are met with anything but repulsion. Then again, thats sexism for you.

Now, jsut for fun flip the gender of the situation and some male had pierced the body of a female without warning or consent because he foudn her rude. Let's see how fast the screams of "abuse" show up.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 20
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