RE: Play without a safe word

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RE: Play without a safe word - 11/24/2007 4:12:53 PM

MsSaskia

Posts: 415
Joined: 9/9/2004
From: Denver
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress
Yes, I agree. Pro-Domming is so much different. The top is providing a service in exchange for $. The customer has the right to say "stop, I don't want any more."

In terms of safe words, I see no difference in a paid scene vs an unpaid scene. Some says 'stop' (or whatever), I stop. Any bottom has a right to stop a scene, not just a paying one.

(in reply to yourMissTress)

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Post #: 61

RE: Play without a safe word - 11/24/2007 4:17:58 PM

MsSaskia

Posts: 415
Joined: 9/9/2004
From: Denver
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone
Is ouch a bad safe word?...just checking......

I very often give that as a safe word when playing with someone for the first time, especially if they're a total noob. Having to think very clearly about what they're saying and what the consequences can be helps - I believe - them learn to think about what's OK and what's pushing limits and what's unacceptable to them during a scene. If someone even says, "Ow" I stop and ask them if they're sure they're not saying, "Ouch" and if they say, "Ouch" I stop to ask if that means they're safewording.

It's rare that anyone needs to use a safeword. I'm happy with "OK, too much" and "Thank you Ma'am" until I've gotten to know them and their responses better. I just don't want anyone going too deep the first time I play with them unless I've known them outside the dungeon for some time first.

(in reply to breatheasone)

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Post #: 62

RE: Play without a safe word - 11/25/2007 6:07:36 AM

queerandcurious

Posts: 46
Joined: 11/20/2007
Status: offline

i know the use of safe words is hotly debated, but i'd just like to comment that i think it is always good to use a safeword. If Y/you don't need to say it, then don't, but having it available definitely increases the level of ssc. In vanilla sex "no means no" but what if the scene is designed around the appearance of resistance. How is the top to know whether the bottom is saying no as part of the scene or saying no for real. That is why it is always good to have a safe word even if it is never used. It's an insurance policy.

(in reply to MsSaskia)

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Post #: 63

RE: Play without a safe word - 11/25/2007 6:15:36 AM

queerandcurious

Posts: 46
Joined: 11/20/2007
Status: offline

i realize that safewords are controversial, but i'd like to add my opinion. i feel that it is always a good idea to have a safeword available, even if it isn't used. In the vanilla community "no means no" but if the scene involves resistance, how is the top to know when the bottom says no as part of the scene or when he/she really means it. Even if the safeword is never used, it insures that the interaction is truly ssc.

(in reply to MsSaskia)

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Post #: 64