One D/s relationship after another (Full Version)

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southernhart -> One D/s relationship after another (11/18/2007 9:40:51 AM)

i have and i pray i will only have one Master/Owner in my lifetime for i love him and worship him. My question is. i know many people who go from Master to Master to Master (Mistresses included) and i also read that on here lots of times. (i am not judging) So i'm wondering something. A few things actually. Is it easy to just go from one to another? If you call each and everyone of them Master does that not demean the title? i never call my Owner, Master. For i believe that it is used and given too easily and sometimes when it's not deserved. So i call him Sir or my Owner. My other question is. If you are going to Master after Master. Is the relationship still special? Does it still have that special meaning? Thanks so much everyone!



slavekal -> RE: One D/s relationship after another (11/18/2007 11:05:45 AM)

I don't think it is any different from having several relationships throughout a lifetime, regardless of the lifestyle.  People can find love more than once.  I am a guy who seeks dominant women exclusively, so all my relationships will be of that dynamic.  I do not think that lessens anything at all.  I think sometimes we take ourselves and our little self proclaimed titles a bit too seriously.



brattysarahjane -> RE: One D/s relationship after another (11/18/2007 11:15:21 AM)

i think it depends on the people involved and the situations involved.

brattysarahjane



SweetSarijane -> RE: One D/s relationship after another (11/18/2007 11:43:05 AM)

Take bdsm out of the equation and you have the same as anyone going from relationship to relationship. They aren't finding what they need and want and likely in many cases are moving too fast, not taking time to really know the person they are getting involved with before making commitment, so they move on to another and another, looking for what they want and need.



southernhart -> SweetS (11/18/2007 12:20:30 PM)

i agree with you.



SweetSarijane -> RE: SweetS (11/18/2007 1:59:19 PM)

I've seen it over and over bdsm or not and mixed in with it, I've also seen some lasting and loving relationships in and out of bdsm. I want to be one of those in a lasting, loving relationship, so I take it slow and am careful. I've done my time in the one after another relationship wheel and finally learned from it and got off of it <smile>.



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: One D/s relationship after another (11/18/2007 2:12:10 PM)

imho, i think you're overanalyzing relationships. 

i have two separate relationships with my respective Doms.  i'll always have a Daddy in my life as well as my SO - both equally special to me.



Sirsinini -> RE: One D/s relationship after another (11/18/2007 2:56:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: southernhart

i have and i pray i will only have one Master/Owner in my lifetime for i love him and worship him. My question is. i know many people who go from Master to Master to Master (Mistresses included) and i also read that on here lots of times. (i am not judging) So i'm wondering something. A few things actually. Is it easy to just go from one to another? If you call each and everyone of them Master does that not demean the title? i never call my Owner, Master. For i believe that it is used and given too easily and sometimes when it's not deserved. So i call him Sir or my Owner. My other question is. If you are going to Master after Master. Is the relationship still special? Does it still have that special meaning? Thanks so much everyone!



Are you asking about relationships or just casually attempting to find the right one?? 
 
Sir's devoted property



southernhart -> RE: One D/s relationship after another (11/18/2007 3:00:25 PM)

i think i mean when someone submits to Master after master after Master. Whether it be in a relationship or just doing scenes.



lateralist1 -> RE: One D/s relationship after another (11/18/2007 3:24:39 PM)

If it's true that we are 'different' than vanilla people and have very different kinks from one another then it is going to be harder to find the right relationship. If we also add into the fact that lots of people are involved because they don't want a relationship they just want 'fun' then there is inevitably going to be a lot of one night or short term relationships.



SimplyMichael -> RE: One D/s relationship after another (11/18/2007 3:45:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: southernhart

i am not judging... If you are going to Master after Master. Is the relationship still special? Does it still have that special meaning?


Gee, if this is you being non judgemental, I would hate to see what  you say when you are being judgemental!

I could write a similar post about people who refuse to commit, who can't find "the one" because they are too much in love with themselves and come up with something equally insulting and judgemental of what YOU have chosen to do...



Celeste43 -> RE: One D/s relationship after another (11/18/2007 3:49:10 PM)

I can't imagine ever submitting to anybody except The Man. I might form a friendship with boundaries that included play, and possibly sex, but not submission. I don't think I could ever trust this deep again should it end.



liminalRapture -> RE: One D/s relationship after another (11/18/2007 5:43:16 PM)

I might have felt the way as you, until my first serious relationship here fell apart.  It just did.  I fell in love.  I fell out of love.  We didn't work anymore.  We just didn't.  I wish him all the best, but I don't really want him in my life.

Will it take time to surrender to a new man?  Yes, of course.  Does that mean I'm damaged and can't surrender--of course not.  I'm much wiser now than I was before.  (I may not actually be wise yet, but I'm more aware of where I was before.)

And I don't think I could ever surrender to another man if I had an idea in my head that if this next relationship doesn't work out I'd never be able to do it again.

But, I must say there is something I think is true in your assessment.  I couldn't ever surrender to another man if I hadn't truly felt the pain of the relationship that fell apart.  Trying to avoid that emotional pain would have left a shell around my heart that would have made me less open.  I've ever felt incredibly devastated when a few little things didn't work out.  Two dates, one french kiss, and I have to mourn the loss, or else I can't actually be open to the next man.



laurell3 -> RE: One D/s relationship after another (11/18/2007 5:46:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: southernhart

i have and i pray i will only have one Master/Owner in my lifetime for i love him and worship him. My question is. i know many people who go from Master to Master to Master (Mistresses included) and i also read that on here lots of times. (i am not judging) So i'm wondering something. A few things actually. Is it easy to just go from one to another? If you call each and everyone of them Master does that not demean the title? i never call my Owner, Master. For i believe that it is used and given too easily and sometimes when it's not deserved. So i call him Sir or my Owner. My other question is. If you are going to Master after Master. Is the relationship still special? Does it still have that special meaning? Thanks so much everyone!



Guess what, they're not superheros, just men.  Life changes, people change, relationships change.  It's not negative to pick up the pieces and start over, it just is what it is.



batshalom -> RE: One D/s relationship after another (11/18/2007 6:14:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: southernhart

i have and i pray i will only have one Master/Owner in my lifetime for i love him and worship him. My question is. i know many people who go from Master to Master to Master (Mistresses included) and i also read that on here lots of times. (i am not judging) So i'm wondering something. A few things actually. Is it easy to just go from one to another? If you call each and everyone of them Master does that not demean the title? i never call my Owner, Master. For i believe that it is used and given too easily and sometimes when it's not deserved. So i call him Sir or my Owner. My other question is. If you are going to Master after Master. Is the relationship still special? Does it still have that special meaning? Thanks so much everyone!




I recently went through an extremely painful ordeal that I don't wish to discuss here. I wasn't looking for another connection - even left up the old information in my profile because I didn't want to be bothered. One evening, after logging out of here and landing on the other side, I happened to see someone's profile that made me cry tears of self-pity and frustration, and I sent a benign note about the wording. From that place, we realized that we had some things in common and could enjoy each other's company.

Was / is it easy? No. But this person is interesting, handsome, and enjoyable. It won't erase the past, won't erase the importance of the people who were in my life before (nor will it erase the importance of those who had been in his life before). It is a new dynamic - a lot of learning and watching.

I have only called one man Master. I have only called one man Aba. I call this man by his name, which was difficult at first, but it is what fits. Each dynamic is different, and this one will keep evolving - neither he nor I are trying to dictate the direction and are only flowing with its tide.

Of course it is special. If it weren't, I wouldn't bother because relationships are a lot of work. He is a unique person who enjoys things that others have not, communicates in his own style, paces himself different, has a different demeanor, and his vanilla / bdsm preferences are different.

As I state in my profile, life is for living and sometimes the price of inaction is too dear. We aren't running away and getting married tomorrow, and I'm not wearing a collar. But I do respect him as a man and as a Dom and am happy to learn more.



southernhart -> RE: One D/s relationship after another (11/18/2007 6:30:34 PM)

i want to thank everyone who has posted so far that understood what i was trying to say. For those who didn't i will just say i was not telling anyone how to live. i was just asking for opinions and feelings. i'm sorry that some of you misunderstood.



SimplyMichael -> RE: One D/s relationship after another (11/18/2007 10:26:07 PM)

Gee, I wonder why some people are so unable to communicate (not that I am judging here) that one person after another misunderstands them?  Or how do they remain so clueless as to wonder why so many OTHER people can't understand the obviously perfectly clear language they use?



juliaoceania -> RE: One D/s relationship after another (11/18/2007 10:41:36 PM)

quote:

Is it easy to just go from one to another?


No

quote:

If you call each and everyone of them Master does that not demean the title?


The title "master" has no meaning for me whatsoever. It is the relationship that matters more than the terms we use to address each other... he prefers I call him "Daddy". I have not desire to call someone "owner" or "master".. although he does think of me as his property.

quote:

If you are going to Master after Master. Is the relationship still special? Does it still have that special meaning?


I have been involved with two dominant men in my life... the first relationship does not have the same meaning my second one does, although I loved my first dominant very much. I still love the person that he is in fact, I am just not in love with him. I will never forget what he was to me, and I am appreciative of what he gave to me as far as knowing myself... I am capable of having different feelings for different people, it does not make what I feel for each "less meaningful" for each individual.

I am now involved with my second dominant... and he holds my heart in his hands, and I have given him the power to decide what he will do with it. If we were not together anymore in the future and I went on to another dominant man, no one would take my Daddy's place in my heart... nothing could make my relationship with him less meaningful...

Does that answer your question?



southernhart -> RE: One D/s relationship after another (11/19/2007 3:24:05 AM)

Thanks, Julia, Yes it does, and i think it's wonderful that you have been blessed with two wonderful people. Good luck and happy Thanksgiving.



southernhart -> SimplyMichael (11/19/2007 3:30:51 AM)

If you took as much time to read and understand what my post actually says as you do trying to be sarcastic and witty. you might have been able to contribute something valuable to the rest of us and not just look ignorant and arogant.



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