differences in genders (Full Version)

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Adkit -> differences in genders (11/19/2007 1:29:05 PM)

I've only been here a short time (mostly for fun) but I've noticed one big thing that frankly, I dont think is fair:

when you see a female looking for a dom they write up a list of what they will and will not do, tell people that they dont want to be called names, explain that they wont just subjegate themselves to anyone and that they only will accept you as a dom if you deserve it enough.

but when you see a female looking for a SUB they only say something in the lines of "I'm your godess, you will pamper and spoil me and I will call you names and abuse you, only write to me if you're willing to give me everything for nothing".

now, I'm not saying they're not allowed to feel that way...but I'm male and I wouldnt mind being either a sub or a dom. but I do NOT want to worship some stranger just because she's got bewbs like a mindless slave. if I wanted to subjegate myself I too would want to respect that person first and I dont want to be called names either.

my problem is; why do women expect the doms to be all those things when they act like bitches themselves when they're dom-ing? maybe guys do the same thing here, I dont know. but it sounds really unfair...because I wouldnt mind getting a few orders and taking a punishment if I fail but I dont want to become a doormat. where are the kind, caring, sensible female doms?



Cloudz -> RE: differences in genders (11/19/2007 1:31:57 PM)

Oh baby...are you going to get flamed. (Running to find the marshmellows)



LadyHibiscus -> RE: differences in genders (11/19/2007 1:37:19 PM)

Epic, epic, lulz.




stef -> RE: differences in genders (11/19/2007 1:41:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Adkit

I've only been here a short time (mostly for fun) but I've noticed one big thing that frankly, I dont think is fair:

Life isn't fair.  Get used to it.

quote:

but I do NOT want to worship some stranger just because she's got bewbs like a mindless slave.

Then don't.  Problem solved!

quote:

where are the kind, caring, sensible female doms?

Camp X-Ray

~stef



hands0n0knees -> RE: differences in genders (11/19/2007 1:44:57 PM)

There are more losers, male and female, than winners in the online BDSM scene.  The mindless Dommes don't deserve any more respect than the mindless Doms or male subs.

But there are some very thoughtful dommes out there.  Just look them up and ignore the rest.



mhawk -> RE: differences in genders (11/19/2007 1:50:16 PM)












quote"but I do NOT want to worship some stranger just because she's got bewbs like a mindless slave"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------then don't do that if it obviously does not suit you,as a female and a slave my Lord can even atest to the fact of my being a slave does not mean i am mindless and i am sure other slaves here would agree to that.

maybe you will find a sensable caring domme,best of luck to you but i have to also say,(looking for marshmallows myself in the process) but as a slave yet alone female at that,i give thoughtful consideration first to whom i submit and surrender to and if that is successful as it currently is for me,i give even more thoughtful consideration to attending to the duties my Lord and His wife have set before me in everything that i do from keeping up the daily maintence of our home to service for the both of them.





Jeffff -> RE: differences in genders (11/19/2007 2:04:46 PM)

Kinda chilly here, think I will warm my feet...:)

Jeff



IrishMist -> RE: differences in genders (11/19/2007 2:18:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Adkit

I've only been here a short time (mostly for fun) but I've noticed one big thing that frankly, I dont think is fair:

when you see a female looking for a dom they write up a list of what they will and will not do, tell people that they dont want to be called names, explain that they wont just subjegate themselves to anyone and that they only will accept you as a dom if you deserve it enough.

but when you see a female looking for a SUB they only say something in the lines of "I'm your godess, you will pamper and spoil me and I will call you names and abuse you, only write to me if you're willing to give me everything for nothing".

now, I'm not saying they're not allowed to feel that way...but I'm male and I wouldnt mind being either a sub or a dom. but I do NOT want to worship some stranger just because she's got bewbs like a mindless slave. if I wanted to subjegate myself I too would want to respect that person first and I dont want to be called names either.

my problem is; why do women expect the doms to be all those things when they act like bitches themselves when they're dom-ing? maybe guys do the same thing here, I dont know. but it sounds really unfair...because I wouldnt mind getting a few orders and taking a punishment if I fail but I dont want to become a doormat. where are the kind, caring, sensible female doms?


Hmm well; I guess it's a good thing you are NOT a Dom cause this mindless slave would have to pass on the sub-standard goods.



toservez -> RE: differences in genders (11/19/2007 2:19:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: hands0n0knees

There are more losers, male and female, than winners in the online BDSM scene.  The mindless Dommes don't deserve any more respect than the mindless Doms or male subs.

But there are some very thoughtful dommes out there.  Just look them up and ignore the rest.



I agree with this except for the degrading “more losers…than winners”. No role or gender escapes the cyber self grandiose and delusional. There is just a percentage, which can be argued to the most boring death, in each group. Only the games are different between the roles and genders not what is considered respectful and sincere.

It is not accepted by the sincere people that females get special rules and to assume all female dominants are like that is shame on you.

The best thing to learn if you are going to try to meet someone online is to filter for reality and sincerity and not filter for wishful thinking. Don’t waste time on the ones who put on a cyber act and all you end up doing is venting frustration in all the wrong places.




mhawk -> RE: differences in genders (11/19/2007 2:46:31 PM)




i would have to say i do agree with what you just said here toservez. it is a very good point indeed





Baroque -> RE: differences in genders (11/19/2007 3:06:08 PM)

It is GODDESS, dear boy and please don't forget it ;)

Adkit: in your innocence you ask some of the most lucid questions around.

No flames here. I wish you good luck.



AquaticSub -> RE: differences in genders (11/19/2007 3:14:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Adkit

I've only been here a short time (mostly for fun) but I've noticed one big thing that frankly, I dont think is fair:

The saying "All is fair in love and war" really is true. Fair really doesn't apply to relationships and matters of the heart, or of lust.
quote:


when you see a female looking for a dom they write up a list of what they will and will not do, tell people that they dont want to be called names, explain that they wont just subjegate themselves to anyone and that they only will accept you as a dom if you deserve it enough.

but when you see a female looking for a SUB they only say something in the lines of "I'm your godess, you will pamper and spoil me and I will call you names and abuse you, only write to me if you're willing to give me everything for nothing".

now, I'm not saying they're not allowed to feel that way...but I'm male and I wouldnt mind being either a sub or a dom. but I do NOT want to worship some stranger just because she's got bewbs like a mindless slave. if I wanted to subjegate myself I too would want to respect that person first and I dont want to be called names either.

So don't worship some stranger. I don't think any of these dommes have a gun to your head, do they?

quote:


my problem is; why do women expect the doms to be all those things when they act like bitches themselves when they're dom-ing? maybe guys do the same thing here, I dont know. but it sounds really unfair...because I wouldnt mind getting a few orders and taking a punishment if I fail but I dont want to become a doormat. where are the kind, caring, sensible female doms?

A female submissive is not the same as a female dominant. Due to supply and demand a female dominant can usually get whatever she wants because male submissives seem to outnumber the female dominants. Male dominants, however, aren't exactly in short supply and as such female submissives are able to be picky about what they want - particularly those who in the greatest demand.

Basically... don't expect BDSM to be any fairer than the rest of the world just because you want it to be. Just be patient and show that you are worth it for the kind of domme that you wish to serve.



azropedntied -> RE: differences in genders (11/19/2007 3:25:26 PM)

wow and that was his first post too , how brave . good thing i remember the old duck n cover drills at school .



Muttling -> RE: differences in genders (11/19/2007 3:33:53 PM)

I'm not exactly well seasoned, but I'll give you my 2 cents worth (and note that you're probably paying too much for it.)


If you think the cyber fetish world is anything like the real fetish world, you are sadly mistaken.   Go to the munches and find the local groups where you can meet face to face in a safe situation (e.g. a situation with a LOT of kinky people who are there to talk more than to play.)  This will give you a far better understanding of the kink community.



MamaDomme -> RE: differences in genders (11/19/2007 3:39:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Adkit

I've only been here a short time (mostly for fun) but I've noticed one big thing that frankly, I dont think is fair:

when you see a female looking for a dom they write up a list of what they will and will not do, tell people that they dont want to be called names, explain that they wont just subjegate themselves to anyone and that they only will accept you as a dom if you deserve it enough.

but when you see a female looking for a SUB they only say something in the lines of "I'm your godess, you will pamper and spoil me and I will call you names and abuse you, only write to me if you're willing to give me everything for nothing".

now, I'm not saying they're not allowed to feel that way...but I'm male and I wouldnt mind being either a sub or a dom. but I do NOT want to worship some stranger just because she's got bewbs like a mindless slave. if I wanted to subjegate myself I too would want to respect that person first and I dont want to be called names either.

my problem is; why do women expect the doms to be all those things when they act like bitches themselves when they're dom-ing? maybe guys do the same thing here, I dont know. but it sounds really unfair...because I wouldnt mind getting a few orders and taking a punishment if I fail but I dont want to become a doormat. where are the kind, caring, sensible female doms?



Well, Bless your sweet soul.

I certainly don't want mindless strangers worshipping me.  I would much rather build a successful relationship in which both parties are receiving the satisfaction they desire.

I get emails from male subs begging to be used and abused quite a bit-- I usually mark them off as wankers.  And I politely tell them to re-read my profile to see what I am looking for.

I also get a lot of messages from Dom males, also asking for much the same.  Strange, really strange.

Once in a while, I get a delightful and interesting message and do cultivate some sort of friendship or more.

Good luck in your search and I truly do hope you find what you are seeking.


*kicks back and grabs a stick for the marshmallow*



awmslave -> RE: differences in genders (11/19/2007 3:48:17 PM)

World is unjust and it stays this way. My advise: undrestand the barriers and find a hole to break through. I have found many wonderful dominant women both on and offline.



beltainefaerie -> RE: differences in genders (11/19/2007 4:03:26 PM)

I really think that the generalizations are not entirely accurate.  However, I think that many male subs find the BitchGoddess deal to be part of their fantasy and they find many women that mesh well with that.  If they aren't your cup of tea, keep looking.  There are plenty of others out there. 



laurell3 -> RE: differences in genders (11/19/2007 5:09:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Adkit

I've only been here a short time (mostly for fun) but I've noticed one big thing that frankly, I dont think is fair:

when you see a female looking for a dom they write up a list of what they will and will not do, tell people that they dont want to be called names, explain that they wont just subjegate themselves to anyone and that they only will accept you as a dom if you deserve it enough.

but when you see a female looking for a SUB they only say something in the lines of "I'm your godess, you will pamper and spoil me and I will call you names and abuse you, only write to me if you're willing to give me everything for nothing".

now, I'm not saying they're not allowed to feel that way...but I'm male and I wouldnt mind being either a sub or a dom. but I do NOT want to worship some stranger just because she's got bewbs like a mindless slave. if I wanted to subjegate myself I too would want to respect that person first and I dont want to be called names either.

my problem is; why do women expect the doms to be all those things when they act like bitches themselves when they're dom-ing? maybe guys do the same thing here, I dont know. but it sounds really unfair...because I wouldnt mind getting a few orders and taking a punishment if I fail but I dont want to become a doormat. where are the kind, caring, sensible female doms?



So apples don't act like oranges so fruit has a double standard?  Seriously Dommes are not females subs, the only thing they have in common is gender. "They" don't act like bitches themselves when they are "dom-ming", as most of them never do.  A dog is not a cat, and all females aren't bitches because you think some are, which is even doubtful based on your lack of understanding of what many here seek.

If you find profiles you don't like, don't talk to them.  Most of the people here will not be compatible with you.  Don't whine, be patient.  It might suprise you to know that many male subs want the goddess type Domme, I am more likely to be rejected as a potential Domme because I am not extreme enough.  But if that's not your thing, it's not.  It doesn't make them "bitches" it makes them what they are and what they desire.

Look for someone compatible for you and learn patience, you will need it, the numbers are not in your favor.  Good luck!



Najakcharmer -> RE: differences in genders (11/19/2007 6:38:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Adkit
my problem is; why do women expect the doms to be all those things when they act like bitches themselves when they're dom-ing?


Um, you're talking about totally different people here, right?  Not one person who demonstrates these contradictory expectations?  Because it makes absolutely zero sense to connect the behavior of completely different people and complain that it shows a double standard. 

There's assholes everywhere.  Really.  We're all completely aware of that fact.  Whining about them in public, especially in a way that suggests that you are categorizing all women for the behavior of a few, reflects very poorly on the whiner.



Estring -> RE: differences in genders (11/19/2007 9:55:30 PM)

Because there is a double standard, you little worm.[;)]



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