Please excuse the intrusion

Please excuse the intrusion (Full Version)

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parttimehotty -> Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 2:44:09 PM)
A little background about myself before i begin.....In Oct '06 i was a vanilla woman w/a kink. i searched online for someone to provide a certain kink and i met a Dom. W/we chatted for 2 weeks online before meeting RL. During our chats i become so enthralled w/this lifestyle, i just kept asking questions and He always patiently answered everything. W/we chatted all day everday so meeting was the next natural step. i won't bore you w/every detail during this year of intro/training...i quit the training, He took me back...back & forth i went until about 2 months ago when i realized that i am His. i need what He gave me including the "extreme". My question is this...several months into my training, it was jokingly brought up by me that i whore myself out/give him the $$$. (He has a family member w/a terminal illness and it's affecting His bank account, not to mention mental status). The joke turned into serious conversation to the point that i actually did do that, but hated it and turned it into a hard limit. As i said before, i went back/forth, up/down regarding my status as a slave to the point that i infuriated Him to no end. He's agreed to consider taking me back if i would start earning for Him again. i hate the thought, but wouldn't that be the ultimate surrender to Him? Or is He being unreasonable/putting me in unsafe situations? He's always available for back up during appt's, but I'm confused. Any help would be appreciated. Respectfully,

ctrlaltdelete -> RE: Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 2:52:58 PM)
Pimping, especially coerced pimping, has nothing to do with BDSM - aside from being illegal in the first place. Turn the heart off for a sec and follow your brain! SOON! Good luck, Nick

toservez -> RE: Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 2:58:05 PM)
You have to be who you are and that has to be compatible with him. You have tried it before and made it a limit. Anyone on here if you take out the extreme example of your situation would pretty much inform you a dominant not respecting a submissive’s limits is not worth serving. There is no such thing as an ultimate surrender by checklist. You already tried it and got only negative out of it. You are not a lesser person or submissive because you are not willing to do this nor will you be a better one if you decide to go forward and do this. Yes, what you describe to me in my personal opinion is that without any details of how you would earn the money it would be very unsafe. In my history being loaned out is not a limit but being made into a source of income is very much a limit. I have to be with a person who cares about me and this sounds just like a person who sees you for money which to me is unsafe and not giving a damn about you both mentally and physically.

MightyAphrodite -> RE: Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 3:05:53 PM)
are you kidding us? Did you get a lobotomy with your breakfast ? I f he is a reasonable male and it sure sounds as if he is NOT,then he would never ask or make or coerse you into performing or persuing something that is NOT SAFE (you could get the crap beat out of you or worse,surely he is not in the room with you) and in fact is ILLEGAL,its that simple... I know the fantasy of 'ultimate surrender" is very appealing to some people,but please,please ,this is not in any way healthy,reconsider going back to this person.I do wish you luck.

Estring -> RE: Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 3:20:40 PM)
Actually, the ultimate surrender would be to let him kill you. I'm sure that sounds ridiculous, but he's already killing a part of you. If you want to be a whore to your pimp, then go back with him. If that doesn't sound right for you, don't. But don't be confused, that is all you will be.

Sexynmentalinkc -> RE: Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 3:32:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: parttimehotty ...i hate the thought, That's all I needed to hear. First off, what he's done isn't "Dom", IMO (and I'm sure many others here will echo that as well). He probably has, and would continue to, put you into unsafe situations and conditions. Hardly the way someone behaves that's supposed to look out for your well-being. But...I digress. Submission and the lifestyle shouldn't be something you hate. If you do, it's 'you' trying to tell you that what's happening isn't right, isn't cool and shouldn't continue. If you find the right "Him", you won't hate it - quite the opposite...it will be uplifting, fulfilling and feel right. Good luck with the future (but stay the hell AWAY from this dude). tips his hat - Mr. S

dreaminofdestiny -> RE: Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 3:37:59 PM)
Very good advice!! listen to it

MamaDomme -> RE: Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 3:46:17 PM)
If this so-called Dom is insisting that you break something that you state is a hard limit, then he has no care for you-- not for your safety or your feelings. That is abuse. Just as if he beat you himself. In my opinion, BDSM has nothing to do with abuse-- it is about sharing a passion and kink with someone that you trust and care for. Yes, that can include a stranger-- but it certainly doesn't have anything to do with abuse. Run, hun, run.

MissMagnolia -> RE: Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 3:55:15 PM)
Agreed. "Pimp" does not equal "Dom". Having a family member with a terminal illness doesn't make most of us turn into arseholes who pimp out people we care for. He doesn't want you, he just wants the money you could bring in. If you are prepared for the "ultimate surrender" he's asking for, great. I just wonder what will happen if he finds someone who'll pay big money for you to star in porn movies, or with animals, etc. Where do you draw the line? Edited to add: For those who DO engage in those activities, good for you. I am speaking to the OP, who is having a problem with being pimped out to guys, so I can't imagine her feeling great about porn and animals.

gorgeous1 -> RE: Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 3:56:56 PM)
I find this so incredibly disturbing. PLEASE go to a counselor, and figure out what your deeper issues are before you pursue any more "Masters", because until you get your house in order, you will not find an emotionally stable partner. You can and SHOULD dump this loser, but trust me- there's plenty more waiting to take advantage of you. Users can smell a sucker a mile away, and even in cyberspace. I hope you don't have any children, and I hope you get tested before you engage in any further activities.

MystressDream -> RE: Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 4:18:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sexynmentalinkc quote: ORIGINAL: parttimehotty ...i hate the thought, That's all I needed to hear. First off, what he's done isn't "Dom", IMO (and I'm sure many others here will echo that as well). He probably has, and would continue to, put you into unsafe situations and conditions. Hardly the way someone behaves that's supposed to look out for your well-being. But...I digress. Submission and the lifestyle shouldn't be something you hate. If you do, it's 'you' trying to tell you that what's happening isn't right, isn't cool and shouldn't continue. If you find the right "Him", you won't hate it - quite the opposite...it will be uplifting, fulfilling and feel right. Good luck with the future (but stay the hell AWAY from this dude). tips his hat - Mr. S I couldn't agree more. Get away from this man. This doesn't sound at all like the "loan a sub" out for a scene thing... it is prostitution, plain and simple, which makes him your pimp. Please don't think actions like this have anything to do with BDSM. They don't.

sexyred1 -> RE: Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 4:27:40 PM)
Sorry, but this is the dumbest thing I have ever heard, at least this week. I don't care if you are new to the lifestyle or not, even asking this as a serious question is beyond me. I originally thought that the OP was perhaps 18, then I saw 44 and said...[sm=banghead.gif][sm=banghead.gif]

topcat -> RE: Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 4:37:05 PM)
let me see if I can sort this out... you offered, jokingly, to whore yourself out for him, and in fact, ended up actually doing it. You hated it, and decided it was a 'hard limit'. This all in the midst of you running away, coming back, walking out, crawling back going back and fortha nd back and forth. Currently, you are out, and you want back in. He says you can come back, but you'll have to whore yourself out for him again. Yanno, I can kinda see his point. I might do the same, though I would likely fold on it, once I was sure you were sincere (that's me, however- I am not saying that he'd do the same- but he could). This really does come down to you. If you can't live without him, you'll have to find a way to live with being a whore for him. Good luck. Lawrence

LadyChef -> RE: Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 4:44:31 PM)
Dear parttimehotty, Maybe you should seek advice from more experienced Dommes and Doms before putting youself in such a dangerous situation with someone who does not care for you. Woman to woman- use your COMMON SENSE!

batshalom -> RE: Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 5:12:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: parttimehotty He's agreed to consider taking me back if i would start earning for Him again. i hate the thought, but wouldn't that be the ultimate surrender to Him? Or is He being unreasonable/putting me in unsafe situations? It's not unreasonable if you want a pimp. It's not unreasonable if you want to risk going to jail for prostitution. It's all up to you to be the voice of your own reason. ~He~ isn't putting you in this position - you are.

laurell3 -> RE: Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 5:32:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: batshalom quote: ORIGINAL: parttimehotty He's agreed to consider taking me back if i would start earning for Him again. i hate the thought, but wouldn't that be the ultimate surrender to Him? Or is He being unreasonable/putting me in unsafe situations? It's not unreasonable if you want a pimp. It's not unreasonable if you want to risk going to jail for prostitution. It's all up to you to be the voice of your own reason. ~He~ isn't putting you in this position - you are. You're kidding right OP? YOU are making bad decisions for YOU, not him. Get help for YOU if you can't decide this nobrainer on your own. Hard limits are hard limits not rules meant to be broken. By the way, hard limits are usually things like anal sex or whipping, NOT prostitution! This guy is taking you for a ride under the guise of a d/s relationship and you are letting him.

chellekitty -> RE: Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 6:40:51 PM)
well....one...hard limits are anything that is a hard limit...and that can be anything from anal sex to prostitution to dismemberment to death...and yes i do state death and dismemberment on my hard limits list (if you think its common sense, go read some of the no limits threads) as for all of you who are so outraged at prostituting and turning the money over to the Dom...ie Pimping...how is that any different than earning money legally and turning your pay check over to your husband...ie...traditional marriage?? to the OP...if you feel that getting paid to have sex is a hard limit, then its a hard limit...and if he will not respect that, fuck him...honestly...there are plenty of people who use sex to get what they want and its just a matter of perspective...i would have a problem with having unsafe sex with random strangers for outright cash...thats a problem...but, helping Daddy get a major job by seducing the guy and having safe sex and i get treated with a pair of $300 boots afterwards...is that not prostitution...in an accepted and legal manner...? just my not so humble opinion... chelle

Kaiynasha -> RE: Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 6:54:59 PM)
What the hell parttimehotty? That man is a pure pimp. And he is pimping you and NOT dominating you. That is how pimps are- get you all into them and then "turn you out." He completely used you and all I can say, is get the hell out. So what he gives you what you need such as the "extreme," stuff you need. But what is it worth if you have to give up your dignitiy. This truly infuriates me. Do you not have any sense of self-respect for yourself? I am sure somewhere in that head of yours- you know that this wrong and that you should not allow him to pimp you. It would be one thing..if it wasn't a hard limit for you...and you went hoeing your ass all over the place with no problems. Then I would say we ALL make our own choices. However you said this is a HARD LIMIT- and a real man...a real Dom would respect this...no matter how many times you tossed and turned. Girl get your ass out of this and leave him.

MrSpectacular -> RE: Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 7:48:50 PM)
I'm confused also - I assume it is a joke - but you never know. The mere mention of money sends me running.

peppermint -> RE: Please excuse the intrusion (11/19/2007 8:56:43 PM)
It seems to me that if he has time to chat with you online then he has time to get a second job and earn money for his family member. If he doesn't care enough for his family member to do that, then why should you prostitute yourself? Perhaps YOU are his second job and his way of earning more cash. So much easier than having to work for a paycheck.

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