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RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/20/2007 5:32:22 AM   
Prinsexx


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Dear Family:
I am SO very happy for you all.
Sincerely so....from my heart.
Prinsexx xx


(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/20/2007 5:43:23 AM   
wisteriaV


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So you see virgina, there is a Santa, this year he came in the form of  the INS in Canada!  Im happy as a virgin getting laid for the firt time for you three..its simply magical!!!   
As to answering your questions: Master  puts the seat down on the toilet, doesn't care how the paper is hung on the roll and he likes to cook. The downside, the kitchen looks like it has exploded when he is done cooking, I can't use fabric sheets, my favorite perfume, and a lot of other scented things I like, because of Masters allergies. Master is detailed orientated to the point of OCD at times and he will admit it lol. The dvds are set up alphabetically in order of movie title and sub categorized based on leading actor/actress and then sub-categorized based on topic such as Shrek, Harry Potter and WW2...etc.
Up until about a year ago, I wouldn't have changed a thing. When I got sick and found out my medical limitations were going to alter my abilites  to where I couldn't do certin  things anymore ( driving, shopping alone, showering alone, standing for long time periods ect)  I asked Master for release so he could move on and find someone healthier and able to do the things I couldn't do...Master and I cried, he said he wouldn't release me and we would work it through together...In all honesty if I had any clue when we met almost four years ago that I would be disabled so early in our relationship, I would not have persued it nor any other type of life choice relationship..

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If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

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RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/20/2007 5:59:00 AM   
LadyPact


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(Using fast reply.)
 
I'm afraid I am of no help in this matter.  I just wanted to say how happy I am for the three of you.

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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/20/2007 6:08:02 AM   
IceyOne


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Congratulations you three

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Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

-Rumi

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RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/20/2007 10:31:20 AM   
ShiftedJewel


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Knight,
 
You know that we have had our problems, you've even been there for Scooter and I through some of them and all I can say is that sometimes even the strongest mental voice of reason fails you, and generally it's when you need it most. Even the most loving family says things sometimes that shouldn't have been said, or does things without thinking of the outcome and sometimes the damage isn't fixable but it is survivable. And I'll be real honest here... some of those things you can move past and get over and some of those things you just can't. The big decision is whether or not you can exist and live happily with that scar? I know that even if no one else understands what I'm saying, you do. For me, some of those scars left a numb spot and I can live with that. Every event requires a decision that should be based on logic combined with what is in your heart and you have to know when logic is the one that should win out.
 
Congrats to all three of you, I wish you all the happiness in the world!
 
Jewel

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RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/20/2007 3:09:55 PM   
KnightofMists


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Jewel... yes.. I very much understand and appreciate what you  are saying.  I groan with hearing "even the strongest mental voice of reason fails you".  These words remind me very much of my past poly-relationship that last for a few years.  I echo your feelings that one can surive some things even thou the damage is not fixable.   These events can and do leave a scar and it is a question can the relationship carry on.  I learned for myself that I can carry alot (maybe this is where the reason failed me).  But sooner or later if the damage keeps occuring over and over again, one can't move past it.  I know that in a relationship one is going to get bumps and bruises.  After 20 years with Alandra, well lets just say that we both have made a mistake or two at times.  I have found the easest way to move past them was not dwell on them.  Yes, the scar is there, but in time you forget how exactly it occurred and realize it really doesn't matter anymore.  They are going to occur... but a scar is so much better than a gaping wound.  In a postive sense, a scar shows me that we as a relationship worked together and overcome our own inadequencies and failings in a given moment of time.  But a gaping wound reveals no healing and only a continuation of the failure.



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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/20/2007 4:15:53 PM   
ShiftedJewel


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quote:

I have found the easest way to move past them was not dwell on them.  Yes, the scar is there, but in time you forget how exactly it occurred and realize it really doesn't matter anymore.  They are going to occur... but a scar is so much better than a gaping wound.  In a postive sense, a scar shows me that we as a relationship worked together and overcome our own inadequencies and failings in a given moment of time.  But a gaping wound reveals no healing and only a continuation of the failure.


Wise words Knight, very wise. If no one hears anything else, they should here these words...
 
Jewel


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Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

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RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/20/2007 4:16:42 PM   
thornhappy


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Damn, that's fantastic!

I propose a round of the "happy happy joy joy" song in celebrations.

thornhappy

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RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/20/2007 4:21:33 PM   
MasterLobos


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RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/20/2007 6:34:49 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

Wise words Knight, very wise.  


they might be wise words... but they where learn by making alot of stupid decisions.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/20/2007 6:40:59 PM   
laurell3


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

Wise words Knight, very wise.  


they might be wise words... but they where learn by making alot of stupid decisions.


Let it go.  Celebrate THIS moment.  You can't change the past.  (yesh sorry really kind of talking to myself here too).

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I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/20/2007 6:41:15 PM   
jezzabelle


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i don't have any insight to add about the transition of moving in together, but i did want to say congratulations to the three of you.  That is wonderful news and i'm very happy for all of you and wish you the best!!

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RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/20/2007 11:11:17 PM   
sammy7626


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Kyra, Alandra and I have just past three years from the time we first came across each other online.  For about six months we interacted online and spent alot of time on the phone before we met in person.  By the time we met are desire to build a life long relationship was very intense but yet no commitment or even discussion of this possibility occurred until after we actually touched in the flesh.  But, from the very first time we met, there was a deep seeded desire to be in each others life.  For the past two and half years we have been putting this relationship as a priority in our lives.  We have spent countless amounts of our time together with phone, web cam and every holiday and weekend get away possible.  In the past two and half years we been physically together about 4-5 months in that time.  About 14 months ago we took another of many steps in our relationship with Kyra submitting her application for Immigration into Canada.   Long before making the applications we considered the risks, costs and the time that it would take to recieve an answer.  In many ways it has been a stressful time.  But it has also been extremely rewarding and bonding experience for the three of us.

Today we have received official notice that Kyra's application for immigration into Canada has been Approved! 

As much as we are excited and relieved with this news I am looking to the next step.  Even before the official answer was received steps have been taken to bring Kyra home, but this to me is just apart of the same step of her application.  To me the next step is the transition from living a long-distance relationship to one that is face to face.

So.. besides sharing a Milestone achieved..... I am looking to start a dialogue on other peoples experiences with regards to moving into together.   What did you find that was challenging and what did you find fantastic.  What do you think you did right and what would you do differently.




congratulations! 

As for moving in together...it can be complicated, and it can be wonderful.  I suppose it all depends on how you feel on any given day.  Our situation here is quite a bit different from yours, but I'll try to give you some general things.

You realize quite quickly just how much space you are used to having once it is gone.  Make sure that everyone has a place within your home that they can call their own, even if its just a favorite chair and side table.  Some place to go where if they really need to be alone, they can be there and know that they won't be intruded on until they are ready. 

Combining households is complicated.  We are currently sifting (2 plus years later, 5 years later in some cases) through a grand total of 4 households worth of stuff.  We have 3 desktops, 3 laptops, 7 televisions, 4 DVD players, extra sofa's, extra tables...boxes of things in storage.  It would probably behoove you to get a storage place for a while.  Anything you think you can do without, put it in a box in storage, if you haven't looked for it in 6 months, its probably safe to get rid of it.

People's quirks and habits that are cute when you live apart, can quickly become annoyances. 

The one thing I can think of that is sometimes an issue for us, that may or may not be an issue for you all...are sleeping arrangements.  You and Alandra have been living together for quite some time.  Its not my business who sleeps with whom, but if you are all going to be sleeping together once Kyra moves in...i would recommend having some "alone" nights for you and Alandra thrown in every once in a while.  If the goal is for all of you to always sleep together...start out with a 3 or 4 a week, and gradually reduce the number.  Because while mentally it is easy to say "I love her she's my sister..." sometimes the heart and the body miss the privacy and intimacy of being alone, and having to give that up cold turkey can hurt like hell and create an emo roller coaster that is no fun for anyone.

I wish you all the love and luck in the future.  I'm sure you guys won't have too many issues.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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