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sexyred1 -> RE: A question for those that Identify as BBWs (11/20/2007 8:03:18 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
If you identify yourself as a BBW as you have, then that is what you will attract attention in being. Drop the term and simply identify as yourself and you will attract a wider circle.
the.dark.
That would be easier said than done, this being the judgemental world of the internet where visual imagery is the first step towards possible future chemistry.
If you are a larger woman, you will either do one of the following:
a. say that you are a BBW, whether you believe in the term or not (and it matters not whether we agree with it, it is now an accepted part of the lexicon manufactured by the fashion industry back in the day)
b. say nothing about your size
c. lie
In all of these cases there is only one outcome; the truth will come out. I believe in being honest. Beauty is purely in the eye of the beholder, including yourself. If I think I am beautiful, that is my right. If someone is attracted to that, that is their right. If someone is not into BBW's, no problem, move on to the next profile/woman.
But a larger woman/BBW, whatever your word du jour is these days really does not have much of a choice, despite your idealistic words above.
I know that I personally, write about myself in articulate terms, as does Melissande. But it does not matter a bit if we wrote one line or 1000, some will only be or not be attracted to that one word BBW, even if you do or do not put it in the profile.
As Mellissande says, she does not say that in her profile and clearly she is smart, sweet and adorable. But some will focus only on that and some will not see her beauty inside or out, or mine or a million other women out there, simply because of size.
Again, that is ok, because preferences are preferences, but please do not advise anyone to drop the term BBW when there really is no other way to "identify" in today's world. If you just say, FAT, that is taken then, too negatively. If you say BBW, then you are too full of yourself.
It is also interesting to hear the judgements even within this very thread, couched as "support". Those posters who said, "Oh you don't look like the stereotypical BBW". I hear that all the time. It gets really tiresome. But if you do not identify as larger than the cultural norm, and you meet someone, then you would be accused of misrepresenting yourself.
So you cannot win either way. It is too idealistic to think that if you could just show or not show your photo and be identified only by your words that show your inner beauty, but come on now, attraction beings with the physical so you cannot avoid the reality.
And remember, it is our profiles and we can identify any way we like, but we cannot control the reactions of those who view us.
Mellissande, don't worry about what you are asking; you will be able to tell who is interested in more than your size, I can assure you of that.
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