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LillithWithin -> RE: A question for those that Identify as BBWs (11/21/2007 3:03:10 AM)
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This has probably been said a few times, but there are always going to be folks attracted to a particular physical attribute, whether it's a woman's particular shape, a guy's particular hair length, someone's nipple color, or countless other outward characteristics.
If someone's only interested in one aspect of you, whether it's your size, the shape of your nose, the color of your toenails -- whatever -- then they're clearly not a compatible partner. If they've made their myopic focus clear in their first email, then they're probably also a bit of an ass with questionable communication skills.
I don't usually get offended by this sort of person, I just disregard them. Occasionally there'll be a whole passel of single-minded messages in a row, at which point I do get a bit annoyed but it's not usually about their attraction, it's a respect and communication issue.
I make a point of saying that I'm a BBW in my profile because everyone has preferences and dislikes, and I prefer that everyone be gung-ho about who they're interacting with, particularly since I don't carry my weight in my face so if someone only looked at my headshot, they might not realize how heavy I am. While I don't get naked in front of 99.7% of the submissives I've played with, I prefer that there be some modicum of physical attraction -- in both directions. Having the phrase BBW in my profile helps make sure there are fewer surprises when we meet.
Anyhoo -- you asked for advice, so here's my bleary, 6am no-coffee-having advice: if someone makes you uncomfortable or comes across in a disrespectful manner during their initial communication, use the delete function.
After taking a peek at your profile, it makes sense that it might ruffle your feathers. If the abuse you mention was physical then there are going to be extra issues wrapped around people relating only to you physicality and it's likely that you're more sensitive to being objectified than someone who hadn't suffered abuse.
The advice remains the same. If someone likes your size AND your personality, sweet! If they're only focusing on one aspect, continue to protect yourself and decline interaction.
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