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RE: Another question please...........again, forgive th... - 11/21/2007 8:46:11 AM   
pinksugarsub


Posts: 1224
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

i thank you all for the wonderful posts regarding my whoring dilemma and it's given me much food for thought. My next question is this....my potential Dom was asking for a list of my hard limits and i replied that it was impossible for me to list the hard limits since i don't know them all. He has been a Dom for over 15 years and has a very creative imagination and i find myself adding new hard limits i'd never even thought of before. He said this was a fair answer and that when i find myself in this predicament, to offer something in exchange for the hard limit.  What would be a fair exhange for refusing to whore for Him?  Laugh if you will, but if you read my earlier post Subject "Please excuse this intrusion" you'll understand what i'm asking for.


This may sound judgmental but i think you should run, not walk, away from this man.  He does not have your best interests at heart, to put it mildly.  The notion that a submissive must barter for her hard limits strikes me as highly manipulative.
 
pinksugarsub

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(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Another question please...........again, forgive th... - 11/21/2007 9:29:32 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

Sorry, but it wasn't the "exact same question" that's why i posted it separately.  Oh well, that's a mute point now since the problem is off the table.  i'm pretty new to this lifestyle and wasn't sure if this was a logical demand from a Dom to his potential sub and w/me hating it so much, i came here for guidance.  i rec'd what i came for, thank you all. 
The End.


Not to be snarky, but it's a pet peeve, the issue is moot (as in dormant, over, dead), not mute (as in cannot speak).  The issue may or may not be moot at all, however, if you haven't looked at the overall relationship in light of the fact that this man wants you to do things that you agree are dangerous and pushes you to give up hard limits.  The issue isn't prostitution, it's your relationship and whether it is nuturing, supportive and good for you.  Yes, most submissives/slaves do things that they may not find enjoyable because it is the will of their Dom/me, Owner, Master, however, the basic structure of any such relationship is mutual trust and respect which gives us the freedom to do those things knowing we will be cared for, nutured, looked out for.  Do you have that with this man?  Given your two questions on this board, I would argue, you do not.  That issue is NEVER moot.  His respect and care for you must always be present for you to trust in him to safeguard you.

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When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Another question please...........again, forgive th... - 11/21/2007 9:44:21 AM   
Babybass


Posts: 230
Joined: 7/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

i'm pretty new to this lifestyle and wasn't sure if this was a logical demand from a Dom to his potential sub and w/me hating it so much, i came here for guidance.  i rec'd what i came for, thank you all. 
The End.


If it doesn't seem logical to you then who the hell cares if its logical to a bunch of internet strangers!!! You are 44 - you have a wealth of knowledge and accquired common sense to fall back on - it doesn't just get lost because you have entered a new lifestyle!! Remember it and use it!!!  

_____________________________

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(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Another question please...........again, forgive th... - 11/21/2007 9:59:54 AM   
parttimehotty


Posts: 4002
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Virginville
Status: offline 		This is true, however i needed clarification that i'm not overreacting.  If everyone had said, "Yes, this is a logical demand from a Dom to his sub" i'd have to rethink my desire to enter such a lifestyle.  To find out that i was indeed correct in refusing to do this and shouldn't feel guilty, made me write that email to him to which he responded..............well, you read his response ;) Again, it's a MOOT point (How's that Laurell)??

< Message edited by parttimehotty -- 11/21/2007 10:00:46 AM >

(in reply to Babybass)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Another question please...........again, forgive th... - 11/21/2007 10:21:05 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Hi ctrlaltdelete,

Thanks for the props.  I don't mind a little dissention from time to time.  Thing is, I happen to share the prostitution 'kink.'  That's a whole other topic, and has been addressed a few times in great detail (you can read about it if you like here:)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1189196/mpage_1/tm.htm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_744157/mpage_1/tm.htm

Bottom line, to me, is that she willingly chose to engage and continues with a relationship with this man.  She's an adult, not a child, responsible and accountable to herself and her community - not me, or anyone else.  Thus, I don't mind giving advice, but I feel no pity for those who actively choose to make decisions they know aren't necessarily healthy. 

Besides, most of what I post is for ironic or comedic value anyway.

Regards,

Stephan


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"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Another question please...........again, forgive th... - 11/21/2007 10:26:27 AM   
gorgeous1


Posts: 367
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

That issue is NEVER moot.


DUDE, what's up with this word? I've heard about five people in the past week say "mute point", including a Phd.

The other thing I've heard is that the "Sun was blaring hot."

Sorry. Anal about words.

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(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Another question please...........again, forgive th... - 11/21/2007 12:08:48 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Exchanging one thing for another isn't solving the original problem. The original problem is that he's asking you to sell yourself. So what if it's either sex or cooking? You're still whoring by selling yourself in order to buy his attention/love/respect or whatever. Stop it. You're worth more.

Master Fire


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(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Another question please...........again, forgive th... - 11/21/2007 2:32:30 PM   
Blaakmaan


Posts: 374
Joined: 5/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gorgeous1


quote:

That issue is NEVER moot.


DUDE, what's up with this word? I've heard about five people in the past week say "mute point", including a Phd.

The other thing I've heard is that the "Sun was blaring hot."

Sorry. Anal about words.


I'm not sure what you're saying, gorgeous1.

An issue is moot.  It doesn't make sense to say an issue is mute.  Issues can't talk!

laurell3 is absolutely right about this!

Sorry, anal about everything!



(in reply to gorgeous1)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Another question please...........again, forgive th... - 11/21/2007 8:52:45 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

Sorry, but it wasn't the "exact same question" that's why i posted it separately.  Oh well, that's a mute point now since the problem is off the table.  i'm pretty new to this lifestyle and wasn't sure if this was a logical demand from a Dom to his potential sub and w/me hating it so much, i came here for guidance.  i rec'd what i came for, thank you all. 
The End.


Not to be snarky, but it's a pet peeve, the issue is moot (as in dormant, over, dead), not mute (as in cannot speak).  The issue may or may not be moot at all, however, if you haven't looked at the overall relationship in light of the fact that this man wants you to do things that you agree are dangerous and pushes you to give up hard limits.  The issue isn't prostitution, it's your relationship and whether it is nuturing, supportive and good for you.  Yes, most submissives/slaves do things that they may not find enjoyable because it is the will of their Dom/me, Owner, Master, however, the basic structure of any such relationship is mutual trust and respect which gives us the freedom to do those things knowing we will be cared for, nutured, looked out for.  Do you have that with this man?  Given your two questions on this board, I would argue, you do not.  That issue is NEVER moot.  His respect and care for you must always be present for you to trust in him to safeguard you.


i disagree...considering the sources....i believe the essential points of origin in this delima are mute...but its much shorter to just say thats a mute point...though i think it would have been more accurate to say we're mute points.......


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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Another question please...........again, forgive th... - 11/21/2007 9:02:41 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

quote:

ORIGINAL: gorgeous1


quote:

That issue is NEVER moot.


DUDE, what's up with this word? I've heard about five people in the past week say "mute point", including a Phd.

The other thing I've heard is that the "Sun was blaring hot."

Sorry. Anal about words.


I'm not sure what you're saying, gorgeous1.

An issue is moot.  It doesn't make sense to say an issue is mute.  Issues can't talk!

laurell3 is absolutely right about this!

Sorry, anal about everything!





It is moot. If it was mute, then no one would be able to hear the incorrect usage of the word.

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Another question please...........again, forgive th... - 11/21/2007 9:07:56 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		oooh thats right they're deaf points....silly me....why can't they be mute instead?

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Another question please...........again, forgive th... - 11/21/2007 9:18:07 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		This whole fucking thread should be mute.

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Another question please...........again, forgive th... - 11/22/2007 4:15:19 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		reply to no one in particular. 

Again, had this been a MALE posing these kinds of senarios would we not see them for what they are..... wank fodder??  Why else would someone want these kinds of descriptions and then get angry when logical advice is given instead of the WANK FODDER they are seeking?

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(in reply to pinksugarsub)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Another question please...........again, forgive th... - 11/22/2007 4:34:24 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

This whole fucking thread should be mute.


Perfectly spelled, phrased, and punctuated.



< Message edited by mnottertail -- 11/22/2007 4:35:14 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Another question please...........again, forgive th... - 12/3/2007 9:28:31 PM   
kinkypuppy2


Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		I suggest you take a 2nd look at who he is.

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See nic "Kinkypupper" also as "slvseeker" As I cannot reply to any posts or log into collarchat under that name I had to create this profile.

(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Another question please...........again, forgive th... - 12/4/2007 9:18:38 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I don't think he has 15 years experience, I think he may possible have one month worth of experience repeated every month for fifteen years. Which is a hell of a lot different. How many women has he been with in those fifteen years? How long did each of the relationships last?

Just because the sex is kinky doesn't change the basic dynamic of relationships, both people need to feel safe, liked, and respected. Both people need their needs to be met. He doesn't get that which is why he keeps getting dumped.

And you've gotten the same assessment of the situation by every single poster on your threads yet you keep denying the reality of the situation and resort to rudeness. No good at all.

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Another question please...........again, forgive th... - 12/4/2007 10:31:18 PM   
fsub4use


Posts: 94
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		Something to exchange for prostitution?  let's see... what brings in money and has another person in charge?... let's see.. oh yes, drug running, murder for hire, and ummmm... that's all i can think of.  *i am NOT suggesting this of course.... i am trying to put your question into perspective.

You also may think i am joking, when in fact i am not.  Prostitution is legal in Nevada.  If you want to do that, and i think it is a perfectly valid lifestyle choice (but not if it is coerced), may i suggest you move to Nevada?  Then you can be a prostitute, please him, and bring in money.  If it isn't your cup of tea, OP, which is your contention, then well... perhaps you could start your own brothel?

In truth, you have been given a lot of great advice in this and other threads.  And you don't seem to like it.  i just hope that when the dust settles you are still alive, healthy, and safe.  If we are to believe what you say, and i've no reason not to, let's be very clear.  This man is an abuser.  Period.  If you choose to be with one, that is a perfectly fine choice for you.  But know that abusers only up the ante.  They abuse until someone stops them, or their victim leaves (or dies).  If you leave, he will find another to abuse.

Ask any social worker, Emergency Room worker, or abuse survivor.  i do wish you well, and i wish you peace.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 57
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