quote:

Hi ashlin,

I read your profile.  Having done so, I know no more about you than I could have guessed having read your post.  Here's some advice:

A) Replace that photo with something more classy.  It needn't be a tuxedo, but a shirt and tie do wonders.  Obviously, wear something you're comfortable in; my suggestions aren't to change who you are, but rather point out you need to put your best foot forward.  Women like to say they don't care about looks, but they do.  Really.  Also, have the photo taken without your glasses.  I have glasses as thick as coke bottles (though I wear contacts) but for a photo, the glare on the lens makes it impossible to see your eyes.  Be sure to smile, too.

B)  Tell us about yourself.  What do you like to do, and why?  What do you do with your work and free time?  What are you good at?  What are you passionate about?  These are the things that will make you stand out to the kind of woman who would have an interest in you.

C)  Personally, if I were in your shoes, I'd yank comments like this "men are powerless over a Lady. i believe that Ladys are supposed to be in total control. men are to serve and to bow before them. That is why we are here." 

I'm sure it sounds to you like you're being more submissive; but it screams "I have no confidence in myself."  On another thread, boijen mentioned how women are attracted to power regardless of their D/s inclinations.  Dominant women are attracted to men with power, so that they might own and/or control that power.  I urge you to embrace whatever power you have; it'll be much easier for all facets of your life if you do.

D)  Get active in your local community.  I just moved from Austin, and there's a HUGE, thriving BDSM community.  There's an extensive list of the organizations here.

http://www.evilmonk.org/a/tx_aus.cfm

I highly recommend Voyagers, myself; they have a great balance of discussion and party.  I actually met one domme whom I dated for some time at a Voyagers party.

That's a good start.  Good luck in your search.

Stephan

quote:

ORIGINAL: willing2obey31

Thanks for the reply......

Well i know that from reading the journals that the Mistresses gets alot of mail, being there are alot more of slaves and subs than Mistresses. There are alot of rude, disrespectful people on here, so that is understandable. i will not disagree i do ned a different approach, so if You have and ideas would You please share?

Thanks
ashlin

The first thing that shouts out at me from simply reading your posts in this thread is to recommend you run a spell check on any messages you write to a Mistress before you send it.  Most are really turned off by bad spelling and grammar.  Next, find something in particular in their profile that strikes you which you may have in common and share something about your experience with them, making certain to ask them a question about their experience on the same subject.  In doing so, you've then let them know you read their profile and you also now have a vanilla subject on which you can base a conversation to learn more about each other (don't talk about shared kinks in your initial contact; wait until she lets you know she wants to go there).

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheInstrument
To me, the biggest irony is that - while all these "sub" men are seeking to "relinquish" control, these actions make it blaringly obvious that they are unable to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez (paraphrased)

To defend all women and not just female dominants, the amount of mail any woman gets on this site is a lot. I think most women have good intention of answering their mail when they first start out but as others have mentioned the responses we get back are often so mean spirited and unaccepting of our choice that most of us determine who we are going to answer and who we are not going to answer in our own criteria. For some that means no reply for almost all and that is unfortunate.

If you never get replies back then I would not look outward but look inward. My guess is you need a different approach to how you are writing to them.