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Stephann -> RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you collar a submissive? (11/23/2007 12:54:24 PM)
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With my first slave, I tried the three collar system (consideration, training, slave.) I gave her a 'consideration' collar about a month into our relationship. A 'training' collar came about six months later. We lasted close to three years, but I never gave her a 'slave' collar.
Building on that experience, I decided to cut out the 'consideration' collar with my current slave, and simply gave her a training collar. It isn't analogous to a wedding ring; a slave collar would be though. I put it on her neck the first time we met in person, two months ago (we'd been talking online/via phone for about four months.) The training collar represents a commitment on her part, to strive to do her best to learn to be my slave. I made it clear that she'll wear this collar for a minimum of one year, at which point we'll reassess our situation and go from there. I think it's worked very well; I don't believe a slave can learn to be a slave, outside of the collar. Only by being enslaved, can she learn what that means.
My submissive, on the other hand, doesn't and won't wear any type of formal collar. It would represent a type of relationship that goes directly against her grain. This doesn't mean we're any less committed to each other; it just means that she doesn't desire any form of ownership.
I'm not advocating my way to be the best way for anyone but me. In fact, I think most people who might do it the same way is likely to end up with disastrous results. I believe it simply takes a very specific mentality and personality to enjoy and grow within a collar this way.
Stephan
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