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What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 4:59:33 AM   
southernhart


Posts: 120
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline 		Have you ever disobeyed your Dominant or did something against their wishes and kept it a secret? Or did you go to them and tell them what you did?

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RE: What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 5:19:43 AM   
childoftheshadow


Posts: 458
Joined: 8/2/2006
From: London UK
Status: offline 		I wouldn't disobey on purpose, but if something happened and I did something wrong, I would come clean. The guilt would kill me

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RE: What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 5:33:18 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: southernhart
Have you ever disobeyed your Dominant or did something against their wishes and kept it a secret?

Yes.  One was a rather minor incident and one was very serious.  He would never have known of the disobedience in either case if I had not admitted it.  With the more minor incident, I confessed nearly immediately.  With the more serious one, it took awhile because I was very afraid of telling Him but guilt finally wore me down.

Interestingly enough, what I considered more minor was the one thing that has earned me a formal "punishment" in our relationship.  As I've stated many times before, the punishment was not sexual or physical but included additional rules and tasks to keep me focused.  It served the purpose and the behavior has not been repeated.

As for the very serious instance of disobedience, it broke both our hearts for a bit but the commitment was there and we were stable and secure enough to work through and past it.  There was no formal punishment for it.  It was punishment enough to have to kneel before Him, look up into His face, and admit what I had done.  We were both crying and it was so cathartic to admit it, be forgiven, and be given another chance.  I will always be grateful for that.

Interestingly enough, both of these instances of disobedience came before we actually lived together.  There have been none since we moved into the same house.  I don't really think one has anything to do with the other.  I think it's simply that I've grown and learned and simply have no interest in ever willfully disobeying again.  (Not that I wanted to before but I'm human and it happened).  It won't happen again...................luci

(DISCLAIMER:  I did not mean to insinuate that any act of disobedience is "minor."  Just using the terms minor/major to differentiate between the acts committed)


< Message edited by slaveluci -- 11/24/2007 5:48:35 AM >

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RE: What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 6:15:23 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: southernhart

Have you ever disobeyed your Dominant or did something against their wishes and kept it a secret? Or did you go to them and tell them what you did?


I have never went behind his back and did something he had told me not to do.

I have disobeyed by not completing what he ordered me to do, but I did not lie about it or omit the truth of it, I told him..

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RE: What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 6:40:45 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		i can't imagine being disobedient on purpose and i can't imagine hiding a mistake from my Master.  The only time i've had a "what he doesn't know..." attitude was with potential Doms who i had not yet met in person and to whom i had made no promises.

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RE: What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 7:04:39 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: southernhart

Have you ever disobeyed your Dominant or did something against their wishes and kept it a secret? Or did you go to them and tell them what you did?

Tell them.

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RE: What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 7:22:20 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Essentially, what he doesn't know will destroy our relationship.  There are no secrets between us, so if I have done something wrong, I will tell him as soon as I realize it or as soon as I am able to talk to him.

Knight's Kyra

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"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 7:27:49 AM   
hejira92


Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline 		I have disobeyed by omission, never purposefully. And on those rare ocassions when I did forget to follow an order, I 'fessed up immediately. It did not matter one whit that He never would have known. He owns every thought in my mind- it is difficult enough to keep good things in my head from Him (for example- I am bursting to tell Him His holiday present), so if I feel guilty about something I cannot possibly keep it in.
 
He knows this about me and says it is one more way that I am a good girl. (He doesn't want to know what I got Him- He enjoys my squirming trying to keep it in).

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RE: What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 7:29:25 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		~FR~

One thing I have learned over the years is that the more you try to keep something from your partner; the more he/she realizes that you are keeping something from them.

It just seems to always work out that way.

edited for spelling

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RE: What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 7:29:45 AM   
hejira92


Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

Essentially, what he doesn't know will destroy our relationship.  There are no secrets between us, so if I have done something wrong, I will tell him as soon as I realize it or as soon as I am able to talk to him.

Knight's Kyra



Oh! I like the way you put this. So true.

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Member:
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"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

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RE: What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 8:37:01 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		there are no secrets i can keep from Daddy.  He has ways of knowing if i disobeyed or did something wrong even before telling Him. for example, i did without thinking of the dangerous consequences take part in public play at a known leather bar/dungeon.  i told Him everything from what i did to how exhilarating it felt - He already knew and immediately punished me.  i'll never understand how Daddy knows things before i tell Him (must be special Dom magic) and never will.

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RE: What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 10:05:38 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		Yes I have... I eventually told Him because I felt so badly about it...and He could tell something was wrong anyway.



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RE: What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 4:44:33 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		Wow, I feel so alone.  I guess I'm the only sub/slave who has ever done something she regretted and will speak of it, huh?  I'm so bad.  I know others have too.  Come on, people, fess up.  You all can't be totally perfect.............luci

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 11/24/2007 4:45:08 PM >

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RE: What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 4:54:36 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		Yep, sure did. The relationship wasn't one that fit very well, we were just in the beginning stages. I wanted to go to the bookstore after going to the market and I had to call to ask first. I called before I went in the market, knowing his answer already because we'd been through this three dozen times in the past (no exaggeration).

No surprise to me, he said "No, I trust you but all men want to do is look at your ass." I went to the bookstore first anyway (knowing he would check the time stamp on the supermarket register tape when I got back to the house). Needless to say, the relationship didn't last much longer. Our personalities were too different. Certain personality types make me rebel, and his was one of them.

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RE: What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 5:24:58 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		In our very beginning when we were working hard to be together in real life, I did something behind his back and totally lied about it. Someone we considered a friend betrayed us both and he found out my lies. I have never been so ashamed or scared in my life. I was punished and he forgave me. I tell him everything now, because I never want to know the pain of hurting him ever again.

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RE: What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 5:28:55 PM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		Never disobeyed and never will on purpose no. But yea i've done some things, not on purpose, that i've told him.

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RE: What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 6:29:51 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Littlepita
I have never been so ashamed or scared in my life. I was punished and he forgave me. I tell him everything now, because I never want to know the pain of hurting him ever again

I know exactly what you mean, pita.  And, all in all, I can honestly say I wouldn't change it if I could because it was a tremendous learning experience.  I had a sliver of doubt whether or not He would or could forgive me - whether He would still want me and love me - if I told Him the "awful truth."  The truth about what I'd done and the truth about what kind of person that must make me.  He was very disappointed in what I'd done but not in me as a person - as His property.  I was amazed then and still am.  No one has ever accepted, loved, forgiven and valued me as He did and does.  So yeah, I deliberately disobeyed.  I regretted it, I confessed, and I was forgiven.  If I'd been a perfect little goody-two-shoes, I would still have that sliver of doubt about what He'd do if He REALLY knew me.  Now He does and now there is NO doubt, so there was a wonderful silver lining to that cloud.  Anyone can love someone who's perfect and never messes up.  But how many know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they're loved even WHEN they mess up?  I do...................luci

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 11/24/2007 6:32:16 PM >

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RE: What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 6:44:31 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

Wow, I feel so alone.  I guess I'm the only sub/slave who has ever done something she regretted and will speak of it, huh?  I'm so bad.  I know others have too.  Come on, people, fess up.  You all can't be totally perfect.............luci


But the OP did not ask what we did; it just asked have we disobeyed and did we keep it a secret or tell. 

Yes, I have disobeyed and the only reason he knew is because I told him the next time I talked to him.  I also lied to him once in the very beginning of our relationship.  It was over money; that was the hardest thing for me to transfer authority to him.  When I told him, he said if I ever did it again he would beat me with his belt.  I haven't done it again.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 7:43:07 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
But the OP did not ask what we did; it just asked have we disobeyed and did we keep it a secret or tell. 

You're right.  Good point.
quote:

Yes, I have disobeyed and the only reason he knew is because I told him the next time I talked to him.  I also lied to him once in the very beginning of our relationship.  It was over money; that was the hardest thing for me to transfer authority to him.  When I told him, he said if I ever did it again he would beat me with his belt.  I haven't done it again

See, that's what I'm talking about.  Hearing that you did that makes me not feel so bad.  I agree that money was the hardest thing to give up my own authority over as well.  Thanks for sharing.  Now I don't feel so alone....lol...........luci 

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RE: What he.she doesn't know.... - 11/24/2007 8:18:32 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

Wow, I feel so alone.  I guess I'm the only sub/slave who has ever done something she regretted and will speak of it, huh?  I'm so bad.  I know others have too.  Come on, people, fess up.  You all can't be totally perfect.............luci


Uh huh, I'm perfect!    Ha!  Far from it. 

Yes, I have had minor infractions and I had one very major infraction which almost cost me my slavery to him.  There was one case a very long time ago of serious disobedience and it's far too long and too personal a story to tell here, other than I abused something he had entrusted me with.  I knew as soon as I did it that I had made a terrible, terrible error.  And I knew I had no choice but to tell him, even though I knew it could cost me my place with him.  The thing is, NOT telling him would have been worse.  My discrepancy would have turned into a cancer that would continue to grow, and he would never know or understand what was happening.  He had to know what my own reaction to my disobedience was and why.  To not tell him would be worse than what I had actually done, as I would be living a lie, and I have never lied to him and never will.  It was the hardest thing I ever brought to him, since I knew it could cost me everything.

He was furious, as I suspected he would be.  I was severely punished.  And I was tasked with rethinking if I wanted to belong to him, while he in turn considered whether or not he wanted to keep me.  It was, however, the beginning of some very serious changes I made, and some changes he also made, which have brought us to where we are today.  To this day I am grateful he kept me and that I chose to stay.

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