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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 7:47:05 AM

mnottertail

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I searched for a punchline, but I am afraid I didn't get the joke.

Ron

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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 8:09:33 AM

auntiedee

Posts: 5
Joined: 9/27/2006
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quote:

the humbling affect of being valued and treasured above the vanilla women in that place has left me wondering, is it the humility that stands out and allows a submissive to shine

In my view, while possible, it's unlikely. I've had a similar line used on me in a bar, and this was well before I had discovered my penchant for bdsm. I think it's a pretty effective approach; he delivers the opening, sees where you go with it, and then behaves as if he got there ahead. I know I was certainly intrigued. (He was also a guy working on a construction site away from home.)

Actually, my ex used that technique to convince me that he knew what was going on in my head. It took me a while to catch on because I really wanted to believe that he had better than average insight and understanding of submissives in general and me in particular. Over the long term, his insight turned out to be less than average about an awful lot of things.

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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 8:20:50 AM

Missokyst

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I agree. Our perception is colored by our wants and experience. That could have been a very nilla thing to do (I have had a bit of that myself). It is our reaction which makes it carry further. But in regards to her photo, heck, I could spot her in a crowd. He may be away from home on a jobsite and without a oomputer, but if he is like my friends they check out the activity in areas they may travel. I had a buddy who went on a business trip and advertised on a few bdsm websites that he would be in town if anyone wanted to meet. He also checked out the local women listed on CM and Bondage.
If you put yourself out there and make your image known, people will find you.
I don't know how wise that would be in a bible belt area though.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Well, to be honest, I don't find the interaction to be THAT unusual. What het woman wouldn't like it if an attractive het man told her she was a rare thing, to be held above all the women in the room? I'D like that. Doesn't make him a Dom...or you a submissive. It makes the two of you human. Grabbing your wrists might have been in play...and when you didn't seem to resist, he knew a little more about you. Vanilla people do kinky stuff all the time.

Master Fire

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 8:30:55 AM

topcat

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M. Ron-

'...and says "OW!".'

Hows that work forya?

Stay warm,
Lawrence

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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 8:33:09 AM

LATEXBABY64

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This lifestyle has been come so media fashionable. It is not hard to spot who is and who is not apart of the lifestyle or knows of it in someway. Learning to read people is not rocket science. Every good sales person knows how to do this. Every person who is in the criminal justice system. Such as detective or investigator can read people as well. Most of this is common sense logic. Now I can see that where nilla pick up lines can be like that. But maybe deep down you projected your self in someway subconscious or other what you are. It could be. mannerism or all kinds of ways

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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 8:47:00 AM

MrSpectacular

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A slave walks into a bar - the barman says -what can I get you - The slave says - nothing I will do all the serving - sorry.

To answer the OP - It is wierd to see someone in their vanilla world - I live in San Francisco so it is a pretty small world their.

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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 8:52:45 AM

slaveluci

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From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened
i'm not pretty to anyone except my Master and i guess i don't present well in bars or other places

I think you're pretty hot, myself, eyesopened. Lot of blind guys around your area?

Seriously, I think you and your master's pix are nice and you're a great looking couple. Just wanted to put my .02 in..............luci

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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 9:03:56 AM

queerandcurious

Posts: 46
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In my opinion the man that said that to you was either a very perceptive Dom or a potential sexual predator. Don't assume that your desires and his are the same, he might have just been a total creep. Be careful!

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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 9:15:47 AM

SirJohnMandevill

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst
>Our perception is colored by our wants and experience.

Indeed. I've noticed lately, whenever I look at an attractive woman here in the D.C. area, I wonder if she could secretly be a submissive. Fortunately, I have better sense than to ask without some unambiguous indication....

Les (Purveyor of Fine Kinkiness since...well, for a long, long time)

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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 9:24:27 AM

proudsub

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quote:

I was being introduced to the girls, one of them blurted "OMIGAWG- you're Topcat!!"

Were you wearing your chaps?

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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 9:32:15 AM

GrizzlyBear

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Could be that elusive mind-reading Dom that so many submissives are hoping will find them. Or, could just be a guy who recently watched "9-1/2 Weeks" and is trying out some new lines.

Hey, judging by your picture, if I saw you in a bar looking like you wanted company and I had a shiny new line, I'ds sure give it a try! Nothing ventured, nothing gained...

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"Come to the edge," he said.
They said, "We are afraid."
"Come to the edge," he said.
They came. He pushed them. And they flew.
~Guillaume Apollinaire

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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 9:50:02 AM

astarri

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I have to agree with the majority here. You are a very pretty girl and identify as a submissive therefore when these words were spoken you were listening as a submissive.

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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 10:52:44 AM

browneyedenigma

Posts: 9
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Solipsistic

In public, I think your D/s nature inevitably comes out in your interaction with others and can definitely be picked up by those sensitive to it. Mannerisms, eye contact, the way you hold yourself near the other person...all these things are dead giveaways.

i don't think that's true with all submissives. In fact, when i'm out, it would be highly unlikely for anyone to pick up on that...if anything, they choose the opposite side of the scale (case in point, just last Wednesday night i was out drinking with a couple from work...and both kept making little quips about how they believe i'm a Domme...and that comes more from how they've seen me interact with others at work than the baby flogger on my keychain...lol).

i feel very submissive with certain men/Doms, and not so submissive at all with other men...although there is a definite difference in attitude to those i perceive to be Dominant (and i don't think that makes me any less submissive...i think it means i need to choose carefully).

It's possible he somehow just "knew"...i can imagine someone having this version of "Gay-dar" if they've spent several years in the lifestyle noting the differences between D/s and vanilla. i'm not saying that is what happened in this particular instance, but it's a very romantic thought, anyhow. :)

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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 10:58:53 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
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From: Connecticut
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OTKkindaGirl

let me first say that i don't get out much but recently met some co-workers at a bar to go sing karaoke. i live in a stronghold bible belt area, and know that bars in this area are pretty vanilla. my co-workers know nothing of my lifestyle and it isn't something that i share with them.

within fifteen minutes of being there, i am chatting with a few men that had decided to join our table. after being there a total of thirty minutes, one man in particular grabs me gently by both wrists, with a gleam in his eye, he informs me that he knows me. i am great with faces and i know for a fact that i have never met this man before so i ask him.... "how do you know me, have we met before?" he smiles and says "No, we haven't met before, but I know all about you, you are very rare woman indeed and to me you are above all other women in this place." Of course i had to ask him if he had seen me or my profile on the computer.... to which he denied. He is on a jobsite, far from home, and without a computer.

I hate to break it to you but it sounds like he was using a smooth line on you for the purposes of (to quote Chris Rock) "would you like some sex?"

C~

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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 11:40:23 AM

OTKkindaGirl

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i said that i don't get out much, that doesn't mean i am without common sense or good judgement.

i was dressed quite conservatively as i do not like to stand out in a crowd.

and yes, i was not without my own knee jerk reaction, as the whole thing took me off my guard and i was left feeling exposed quite unexpectedly. i was not without my own suspicions but i did not let it stop me from learning about him and what he was about.

the experience just left me feeling more appreciated and only accentuated what somebody else has been trying to get across to me over the past few weeks. the empowerment that was left with me is a very heady one, and to know that i am more valuable than worthless is a wonderful experience to behold. i only wanted to share it and gather others thoughts and opinions.

i value and appreciate everybody's thoughts and opinions so thank you to all that have responded, i haven't been on the boards for a couple of years now and it's good to be back.

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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 11:44:20 AM

OTKkindaGirl

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Two slaves walk into a bar, the third one ducks!

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

M. Ron-

'...and says "OW!".'

Hows that work forya?

Stay warm,
Lawrence

perhaps he would like this one better....

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~~ lil darlin' ~~
hope

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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 12:07:14 PM

OTKkindaGirl

Posts: 447
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrSpectacular

A slave walks into a bar - the barman says -what can I get you - The slave says - nothing I will do all the serving - sorry.

*gigglez appreciatively*

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~~ lil darlin' ~~
hope

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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 12:20:37 PM

Solipsistic

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Joined: 10/19/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: browneyedenigma
i feel very submissive with certain men/Doms, and not so submissive at all with other men...although there is a definite difference in attitude to those i perceive to be Dominant (and i don't think that makes me any less submissive...i think it means i need to choose carefully).

So it seems like you agree that you'd probably come across as submissive towards those men to which you felt submissive. And that's basically what I was getting at. I wasn't implying you can just sort of scan a crowd and tell, but in my experience, if you interact with a person and the chemistry is there, the D/s tendency tends to reveal itself pretty quickly.

Of course, I think this applies outside sexual chemistry as well, but seeing as most people probably alternate the sides in different roles, there is often no universal indicator. So for you, you may be sexually submissive, but personally dominant. In which case, in personal relations you come across as dominant, but when a certain Dom catches your eye, you come across as submissive. People who are purely dominant or purely submissive in all interactions and relationships and all parts of their personality seem like they would be exceptionally rare.

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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 12:28:53 PM

astarri

Posts: 265
Joined: 4/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OTKkindaGirl

i said that i don't get out much, that doesn't mean i am without common sense or good judgement.

i was dressed quite conservatively as i do not like to stand out in a crowd.

and yes, i was not without my own knee jerk reaction, as the whole thing took me off my guard and i was left feeling exposed quite unexpectedly. i was not without my own suspicions but i did not let it stop me from learning about him and what he was about.

the experience just left me feeling more appreciated and only accentuated what somebody else has been trying to get across to me over the past few weeks. the empowerment that was left with me is a very heady one, and to know that i am more valuable than worthless is a wonderful experience to behold. i only wanted to share it and gather others thoughts and opinions.

i value and appreciate everybody's thoughts and opinions so thank you to all that have responded, i haven't been on the boards for a couple of years now and it's good to be back.

It is great to get a little outside validation although others opinions of you should not be the only basis of your self worth ~ nor is your submission. It sounds pretty to have someone say that you are a rare person ect ... but in reality that has nothing to do with your submission ... you are unique and have wonderful things to offer in life ..just like everyone else vanilla or otherwise.

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RE: A slave walks into a bar... - 11/25/2007 12:32:23 PM

OTKkindaGirl

Posts: 447
Joined: 12/26/2005
From: NW Arkansas
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yes, validation is good and something that is a rare occurance for me in the vanilla world or this realm for that matter.

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~~ lil darlin' ~~
hope

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