quote:

"Dear well-meaning submissives of the world, I have a bit of advice for you in your search for a Domme: Do not immediately claim that you will do "anything" for her (particularly when you haven't even *met* her), or that you have zero limits, or that you never say no. It's not true, and after a while, some Dommes get really, really really *really* irritated when they get six or seven emails in a row from complete strangers promising the moon, for what amounts to no reason.

Of course I deserve the moon, but until you've met me how on earth can you know that -- you simply can't! Moreover, the negotiation process gets *so* slippery when you -- the sub -- are so swept up in "the glory" of me that you will not realistically examine your limits. Every reasonably sane human has limits -- limits are perfectly reasonable, and necessary. Finding someone with whom your limits mesh is *critical*, and if you go about pledging mindless obedience and total surrender you're likely to get looked over or barked at. (By the way, sorry, guy I just barked at -- I explained all this to you as well)

You want unreasonable demands from a stranger? You want to feel treated horribly? Fine. Go buy every single thing on my ThingsIWant.com list. Go right ahead, I'm listed under Miss Justice. Do that, and then ask me what incredibly long literary work to have tattooed all over your back side. The Desiderata is a nice one, as is Eisenhower's exit address, and I can think of a few yards worth of poetry that would work as well. Sure, it's painful and expensive but no limits, right?

When that's done, we'll talk about what charitable organization you'll spend the holidays helping, and what strange color we're going to have your vehicle painted. I'm partial to bright green with turquoise polka dots, maybe with orange and pink stripes on the tires. Or better yet, donate your vehicle to Amnesty International and use rollerskates -- even in the snow -- to get around.

After that, we'll talk about what body parts to get pierced, or what outrageous hairstyle you'll be sporting. Purple mowhawks go over *splendidly* in every profession, and if they don't, well, once you're fired you can start working at walmart or something. Better yet, we'll set you up as a phone sex operator so you can construct vast quantities of chainmail fabric for me while you work. Your fingers will be useless after a while, but I'll let you take breaks when you get blisters.

At some point in this list of tasks, you will discover that you do indeed have a limit, if not several. Argh!, I say, argh!

YOU should know your limits!! If you don't know them, SAY that you don't know them, and ask nicely if someone might be willing to spend the time and potential headaches to help you discover them.

Okay, I'm done ranting now. Please, do me the honor of NOT insisting that for me, you'll do "anything". I can prove that you won't, and again, the false assertion over and over and over drives me batty."

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyone4you

I can't imagine not having any limits.  If you asked me to cut off a limb, I don't care who you are, it's staying attached where it's at.  I have been contacted by some wannabe Doms & Masters who have told me I will have no limits.  Those are the ones I reply to with "Thanks, but no thanks," and hit the "block sender" button.

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Thanks for the sage advice.....the topic of discussion other than your self-proclaimed knowlege is WHAT? You would be suprised to find how many there are here that would in fact do those things.

This is not an invitation to start another "no limits" thread people, please do NOT go there!

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingMyrmidon

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Thanks for the sage advice.....the topic of discussion other than your self-proclaimed knowlege is WHAT? You would be suprised to find how many there are here that would in fact do those things.

This is not an invitation to start another "no limits" thread people, please do NOT go there!

Hi Laurell3,

Hm, I could be misinterpreting the tone of your reply but I'm not sure why you sound pissed. Have I done something to offend you?

As to being surprised, yes, I would be surprised to run into anyone, let alone several folks, who would do everything listed, right off the bat without ever having met, developed a sense of trust and understanding. Yep. Definitely surprised.

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3
I'm not pissed, I'm direct. Your diatribe about what's right for you is the right way is obviously flawed and in no place did you mention doing these things "right off the bat". You said doing them at all.

Yes, there are people on this site reading this post I'm sure that claim to have no limits with activities that are actually severe, which most of your list is not. There are probably many that would do some of the things you listed there that aren't very severe, in fact, there's probably quite a few of us that help charitable organizations over the holidays without an order to do so. It's not uncommon at all to get body piercings or change your hairstyle for a partner. Additionally, we generally post for a topic of discussion with a question, not just to tell others how we can guide all the misguided submissives. Do you see the issue now?

You are assuming you speak for the many, you only speak for the one.