RE: Elitism in BDSM/Ds/WIITWD

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RE: Elitism in BDSM/Ds/WIITWD - 8/13/2005 4:00:49 PM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

Good post. I agree with your disdain for the eliticism.

I see it often with people who are very into the D/s component of BDSM. Many of these extremely D/s oriented people have adopted all the old school rules, protocols, and cliches, and seem to think that the rest of us just don't understand the "true lifestyle", or are just inexperienced and ignorant. Frankly, I find their ideas and interests quite boring and unimaginative. If it floats their boat, then good for them, but don't try to push it on me.

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)

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RE: Elitism in BDSM/Ds/WIITWD - 8/14/2005 3:50:11 AM

zaynab

Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

Hi Kitten With A Twist, *waving
(wow, you sure look like one of my neices..... !)

You: "the feeling and expression that those who practice BDSM or engage in power dynamic relationships are some how more in tune with the scheme of being, some how better than those who do not engage in these same relationships."

Me: I agree that some of the folks engaged are more in tune.

You: Why is this? Why is there the assumption that one sexual identity is better or more special than another?

Me: I don't know... they just are.

You: "Do we (as a whole, I do not do this) put ourselves on a pedestal so that we can feel more right about beating each other with canes and crops, or kneeling before our masters/mistresses, or looking down upon our lovers with a glimmer of sadistic nurturing in our eyes? What is it that you/they/we think is so special about this whole BDSM idea?"

Me: I think that is because it is so hot, and vanilla sex is not. That is to the point.

You: "But not everyone *is* kinky, or even desires to be. So if the only thing you want out of life is an equal standing and missionary sex, does that somehow make you less of a person? Does it make you stupid or wrong or behind the times? "

Me: Yes.

You: In this "lifestyle," we seem to look to be accepted.

Me: I don't. Excuse my french, but I don't give a shit what other people think.

You: *I* want my family and friends to know that my sexual orientation, my identity, my self is part of who I am, and I can't, and don't want to change that."

Me: My family IS why I have my point of view and my type of sex life.

You: All they want to know is, even though you're different, you have the same needs and wants as everyone else-the need to be loved, the need to survive, the need to be happy.
Me: yeah.

P.S.Dont know how I came across but good post, by the way!

< Message edited by zaynab -- 8/14/2005 3:55:08 AM >

_____________________________

zaynab[DM]

quote:

i used to care... but now i take a pill for that

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)

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Post #: 42

RE: Elitism in BDSM/Ds/WIITWD - 8/14/2005 4:43:02 AM

LdyAuburn

Posts: 179
Joined: 5/9/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KittenWithaTwist

Perhaps this is more of an online problem than a whole-lifestyle issue, but something I find downright despicable in BDSM and D/s and M/s and etc is the rampant elitism: the feeling and expression that those who practice BDSM or engage in power dynamic relationships are some how more in tune with the scheme of being, some how better than those who do not engage in these same relationships.

Perhaps because it fulfils more than vanilla did for them? So by default it has to be better?.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fidelity

They get sucked into a fantasy, and beleive it to be reality. But like most balloons,it takes a lot of effort and hot air to keep it flying.

Which I find sort of silly,considering this is all based on a role playing sex game,of some sort or the other.

See that in inself denigrates someone's percpetion of their relationship

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)

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Post #: 43