stella41b
Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
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I checked your profile... I'd say everything's fine, but maybe the reason you suck at relationships is maybe because you suck at the relationship with yourself. Only you know the reasons why, I don't, and I honestly can't see them or work them out for you.
I see a young attractive woman, a Southern belle as it were.. I see the expressive face, the clear skin, the eyes, I read the words, I know that you have character, a personality.. but you don't have the confidence, the self-esteem, the knowledge of self-worth and self-value. You only got one body, and you've only got one heart.. How are you going to feel and how do you feel when that body is used? What is going to happen when that heart is broken?
Why try to be someone you're not? That cheap bargain in a dollar store? You sure don't look cheap to me, and yet I understand that you may feel the need to offer yourself in this way to men for the sake of acceptance. Why? Are you happy? Is this what you really want?
You're getting some really good advice here from others.. But you know, we're not you, we don't live inside your head, we don't know the games your heart plays with your mind. You claim to suck at relationships. Since when? When did this start happening? Why are you still choosing to perceive yourself as you did then? How much longer are you going to live in the past? Are you getting the things you need from a relationship? Greater self-esteem? Self-confidence? A better sense of your own value? I guess not. Got to admit it, it ain't working.
I personally don't think the role of victim suits you very much, does it? What do you think? Don't you agree? You cannot be happy, otherwise you wouldn't have come here and posted looking for our advice, would you now?
But you know, you can change your mind in a split second... that's all it takes. Just think, eh? Freedom from the past, and all those bad experiences and relationships, just a single moment.. and then.. gone.. forever.
I'd say you give the guys a rest for now, and find your closest friends, and just go out and have a girlie night, you know, go see a movie, go do some shopping, go spend some time being nice to yourself. There's nothing here which states you cannot offer your submission as a prize to a guy who truly deserves it. Nothing to stop you becoming a luxury item other than your irrational clinging to the past and cheapening and devaluing yourself. Why?
Please remember.. you only got one body to offer.. you only got one heart to offer as well.. you only need one guy, so why not make sure it's the right guy? You've only got one life in which to be happy... You only need a single moment to change your perception of yourself, find your self-esteem and your true value.. Surely it isn't too difficult for you to achieve, or is it?
I wish you well.
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RE: oops - 
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dear god, by the time I was done reading I just wanted to punch someone's face really really hard.... this is going to sound harsh, but what the hell. You pick guys who are assholes to you, then you cry about it. Apparently you haven't garnered enough attention in your journal sob stories, so now you are here telling anyone who will listen. That's called playing the victim. Judging by everything you have to say about yourself, you do that quite alot. Fortunately for you, there are plenty of people who will run to soothe you even when you do obviously retarded things. 
no, we had anal after he stuck it in...i think he felt bad and could tell i was upset. he thinks making me feel better or having sex is the only way to express himself or feelings. 
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