Can a master change a dislike into a like ?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Can a master change a dislike into a like ?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Can a master change a dislike into a like ?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/26/2007 11:39:52 PM

alivingdoll

Posts: 57
Joined: 2/21/2007
Status: offline

I dislike a certain act it does nothing for me and well it's done to me for pleasure so I don't think it's tied to the honor his pleasure or is it? .

This has been an issue and a challenge to past partners and each one would say "well you just haven't had that done right in order to like it "I'm sure my past and now my partner know's what he is doing it's just me I just don't like it .
It's like a wedge here i'm not one to fake what I don't feel but is there a time you should?Also if the desired results don't happen he tries again and again .I feel shitty I don't respond in the typcial fashion,get's in my head and really effects me

     I'm thinking being so honest wasn't so good cause it's like some challenge to be the one who finally get's me to enjoy this making this a type of contest wasn't my intention at all.

   I'm commited to him and won't refuse but I will not pretend this is enjoyable for me i'm also thinking maybe he enjoys my discomfort in this situation ?   should I just bite my lip and endure the act?
He"ll ask for my input ?and I'm honest and have said let's do something else I get ahhh no you don't like I'm trying to control .This isn't a bratty game that I play. I 've said you know that does nothing for me and he will say well last I knew it's not all about you dear.

So has there ever been a dislike you had and through practice and time together change it to a like eventually?
                           Thanks In advance~~~~Doll

Post #: 1

RE: Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/27/2007 12:29:38 AM

trusting

Posts: 144
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Virginia
Status: offline

if you are true in your submission and that was not a 'limit' that you discussed, i think that you would be able to get used to it over time.

then again, you may be one that feels it is ok to tell him no?

_____________________________

"Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one." -Malcolm Forbes

(in reply to alivingdoll)

Post #: 2

RE: Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/27/2007 12:31:59 AM

angelslave77

Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

I hated guys going down on me, could not stand it would not allow it. Sir finally convinced me to let him, after much resistance and protest I found I did not hate it as much as I thought I would. I still dont love it but it is bearable and perhaps in time I might enjoy it more. So I would say it is possible BUT if you truly hate it and nothing is changing that then I think you need to sit down and talk it over.

(in reply to alivingdoll)

Post #: 3

RE: Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/27/2007 3:59:17 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

I'm guessing it's oral right? Lifestyle or not, many men have tried to convince me that they can make me orgasm that way. None of them have been correct. I don't hate it, but it's just not the momentous occasion for me that it is for many women and I don't need clitoral or gspot stimulation to orgasm and can orgasm from penetration, so I guess I'm actually very lucky. Sometimes we just like what we like and are the way we are.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to alivingdoll)

Post #: 4

RE: Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/27/2007 4:25:50 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Will doing it with him damage you physically, psychologically, emotionally or spiritually? If not, consider that it might be pleasing for him to do it to you, but make it clear that you don't like it and it would be dishonest to pretend like you do. But, there's the catch-22 of what happens if he orders you to fake it. You could start out with it as a limit and see if it changes as you learn to trust him.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to alivingdoll)

Post #: 5

RE: Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/27/2007 4:28:55 AM

kittensmailbox

Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline

He can only change it if and when the sub gives him that power to do so

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 6

RE: Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/27/2007 5:13:09 AM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

I'm not a masochist at the least, so that means I don't particularly like floggings, spankings, or canings. Mistress loves the idea of flogging me, so I'm open to give it a shot for Her. It's not a hard limit, just something I never enjoyed. Since it's something I don't enjoy, I psyche myself up, saying to myself that it will please Mistress and make Her happy and proud of me. That is my motivation charge into it. I know She will never do anything to harm me physically or emotionally, so I'll surrender completely and trust Her to guide me to the place She chooses.

In essence, I have to be open enough to the idea so She may turn it from a dislike to a like. She can make me do many things, but forcing me to like something I choose not to is not one of them.

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

(in reply to kittensmailbox)

Post #: 7

RE: Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/27/2007 8:17:07 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: trusting

if you are true in your submission and that was not a 'limit' that you discussed, i think that you would be able to get used to it over time.

then again, you may be one that feels it is ok to tell him no?

Ignore bullshit like this first off all, there is no such thing as "true" anything other than being true to yourself and being honest with your parnter.

A skillful dominant can make you enjoy things you didn't like before, it doesn't happen overnight, it can take weeks, months, years. Or it might never happen.

(in reply to trusting)

Post #: 8

RE: Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/27/2007 8:22:53 AM

BBWnNC72

Posts: 1155
Joined: 6/22/2007
From: NC since Jan of 2007, but born and raised in Cali
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: trusting

if you are true in your submission and that was not a 'limit' that you discussed, i think that you would be able to get used to it over time.

then again, you may be one that feels it is ok to tell him no?

get used to it?
if one really doesnt care for it, or even has it as a limit, they shouldnt have to "get used to it"
also, there is nothing wrong with discussing and saying "no"
there are a few things that i dont care for and i wont do, even if we didnt discuss it before hand, and i AM a true submissive, things come up from time to time that wasnt thought about before.

< Message edited by BBWnNC72 -- 11/27/2007 8:26:02 AM >

_____________________________

huggs and purrs
Brian's kat
a.k.a. "greedy monkey"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
i am who i am, i am not ashamed. spank me, beat me, bite me, pull my hair, dominate me, control me, but always respect me for who i am.

(in reply to trusting)

Post #: 9

RE: Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/27/2007 8:47:42 AM

subsfaith

Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBWnNC72

get used to it?
if one really doesnt care for it, or even has it as a limit, they shouldnt have to "get used to it"
also, there is nothing wrong with discussing and saying "no"

If there is something I don't care for, and my Master does, then I get to put up and shut up. By definition that is what submission means

Of course I am often invited to discuss any thoughts I may have, but the ultimate decision rests with him and I have the pleasure, or indeed the displeasure, of submitting to his wishes.

To the OP:

quote:

ORIGINAL: alivingdoll
I'm commited to him and won't refuse but I will not pretend this is enjoyable for me i'm also thinking maybe he enjoys my discomfort in this situation ? should I just bite my lip and endure the act?
He"ll ask for my input ? and I'm honest and have said let's do something else I get ahhh no you don't like I'm trying to control .This isn't a bratty game that I play. I 've said you know that does nothing for me and he will say well last I knew it's not all about you dear.
So has there ever been a dislike you had and through practice and time together change it to a like eventually?

Thank you for your honest post. In my experience there has been several areas where I have started with almost a hard limit, but just through communication and encouragement, and sometimes no practice, I have come to crave a particular experience just because it was something that my Sir enjoyed. For example, humiliation was something my Sir has previously enjoyed pre-me but something I was defiantly opposed to when we started our relationships. Now I crave humiliation at times and embrace the experience and Sir limits the occasions when he uses humiliation to reinforce his control.

Maybe your Sir does enjoy your discomfort, he is right, your relationship isn't solely for your benefits, and yet I also think you are right in being honest and open about your feelings.

I would like to think that over time you can learn to embrace everything your Master wishes you too, and hope that in the meantime they don't becoming problematic issues for you.

Good luck,
Faith
:: smiles ::

(in reply to BBWnNC72)

Post #: 10

RE: Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/27/2007 9:00:05 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

Nobody can make you like anything. If, as MasterFireMaam pointed out, it is not physically, emotionally or spiritually damaging, perhaps you can focus on accepting it as part of your service to him. Concentrate on your submission to the action rather than the action itself. I freely admit that I do not fall into paroxysms of ecstasy when I’m folding his towels or gagging on his cock. But I do find a deep satisfaction that he is the one with authority and I do what he wants me to.
Part of the equation, for me, was learning to let go, learning to accept whatever might be on his agenda, learning to go with the flow, no anticipation, no expectations.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to alivingdoll)

Post #: 11

RE: Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/27/2007 9:49:36 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

So has there ever been a dislike you had and through practice and time together change it to a like eventually?

more than once!!!

this slave's preferences, likes, dislikes and outright phobias were all handed over to Master from the beginning. by not limiting Him, directing Him or faking enjoyment of any activity, He chooses what pleases Him...and this slave likes that He has that choice, much more than she dislikes any specific activity He decides to engage in.

(in reply to alivingdoll)

Post #: 12

RE: Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/27/2007 10:01:42 AM

daddyncherry

Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

Oral is one of my biggest turn offs (so you are totally not alone)...i've had in done in the past with great success...so it isn't like i can't respond to it, but it takes ALOT for me to get there, it is something i have to try really hard to focus and concentrate on so i ruins my mood entirely and it mostly just bores the hell outta me. i am much more comfortable going down on others, male or female.

With that being said, i am very grateful that my Master/Daddy is not into that activity. BUT...what makes it an issue is that we go to swinger's clubs and it seems like that is THE thing to do....UGHHH....it was very hard for me when i realized that, and totally made my brain and sexual areas turn right the fk off......i keep trying to figure out if there is a way for us to go there and for that NOT to happen to me...but that isn't really my choice.

So i have been trying to train myself to enjoy it even though i don't...my Daddy said it was good for me to handle the discomfort...and to just be a little object used for sexual pleasure...not so much mine or their's in this case, but for HIS...

So this is what i try to do....who knows what will happen next time it happens at one of those places...maybe my efforts will pay off....gawd i hope so

_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 13

RE: Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/27/2007 10:16:55 AM

boytoy4female

Posts: 103
Joined: 8/10/2006
Status: offline

There are many good responses to this post. The bottom line is, yes it can be changed. For this to happen, first requires that you truly want to change.Secondly, be aware it is a process, not an event. It will take time, conditioning and I recommend some "anchoring". Anchoring is the act of linking it to something that is pleasurable; much like Pavlov's dogs.

On the other hand, it it's about submission; why do you want it to change? As I see it, if you do something you do not enjoy or want, you are a true submissive. How is it domination to give someone something they want in the first place?

(in reply to daddyncherry)

Post #: 14

RE: Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/27/2007 10:38:50 AM

daddyncherry

Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: boytoy4female

On the other hand, it it's about submission; why do you want it to change? As I see it, if you do something you do not enjoy or want, you are a true submissive. How is it domination to give someone something they want in the first place?

i can see where you're coming from on this point BUT a slave should enjoy service and should enjoy being submissive.....what makes you enjoy that can differ.....Learning to enjoy or being trained to enjoy something you don't already enjoy, or something that you hate is just taking it a step further.

One tiny example i can use is i pretty much only like rock music, heavy and loud....Well my Daddy likes old disco and lo and behold i started putting it on for him when he would come home at night and i started to get into it...it made me actually feel more slavey to be aligning myself with his likes.

Soo if i can train myself to enjoy and endure something as off putting to me as someone doing oralsex to me FOR HIS wishes...then i can only imagine how centered that could make me feel.

It would be different thatn enjoying being penetrated or giving oral sex...i already like those things...the submission would come in when i am doing it for his wishes...to satisfy him...at his order, on his time, in his way and with who he wishes.

_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to boytoy4female)

Post #: 15

RE: Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/27/2007 10:44:26 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

How is it domination to give someone something they want in the first place?

Maybe because they want the same thing???

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to boytoy4female)

Post #: 16

RE: Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/27/2007 10:51:12 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I'm 52, if in all these years I haven't found any redeeming value in something, I'm not going to.

Would I put up with it on occasion? Sure. But I will also make it perfectly clear that if he's expecting me to be all hot and bothered afterwards, it isn't going to happen. He can do stuff that he likes and I hate but he can't demand I enjoy it. And if he decided to only do the stuff I hate all the time, making me feel sick at the prospect, then he wouldn't have me for long. I need my needs met also.

Now if he's an emotional sadist, he might be doing this because he knows you dislike it so much. Why not ask him his motivation and talk honestly about how much of this you can tolerate before you run screaming into the night.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 17

RE: Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/27/2007 11:02:13 AM

goodgirl08

Posts: 145
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline

I think so...that's where the capacity to control your own mind comes in, really only you can adjust to it and even grow to like it. I don't know for sure, but this is something I'm trying to do with regards to a certain act.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 18

RE: Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/27/2007 1:33:22 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

In my experience, if I don't like something and I've been open to TRY to find different mindsets to do so, I'm more than likely never going to think with gusto about it. I absolutely do get used to things but that is very different to liking them. Sometimes there's aspects beyond the act itself that gives me something but it still doesn't mean I'm going to like the act.

You may never like this *act* whatever it is, there again you might.

In answer to your question.......Yes...I hated the taste of semen. I used to gag, spit it out, dribble it and I have even vomited over him. He gently and slowly changed the way I viewed the entire act, including how it tasted and felt. In short, I was conditioned very carefully and considerately. I'm still apprehensive when it's about to happen but I don't fear it or dislike it and I have no revulsion whatsoever anymore.

agirl

(in reply to alivingdoll)

Post #: 19

RE: Can a master change a dislike into a like ? - 11/27/2007 1:43:58 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I will not go into detail here but ther is something that i had a bade xperience with so i did noit really want to try it again. However it is something Master loves so i decided ok i will give it a go for him. Well we did and it was not as bad as i remembered, then we changed positions and OMG i love it now.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Can a master change a dislike into a like ?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.078