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RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/27/2007 5:13:16 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		 Well said!!!!!!

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Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/27/2007 9:35:49 PM   
ChainsandFreedom


Posts: 222
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Zensee

Nice to see how much you've matured and mellowed during your hiatus, CaF.

Thanks for returning to set us all straight on the meaning of everything. We've been floundering without you.


Z.



I'm touched to see I've left such a lasting impression on you after only debating you once or twice in the past. Thanks for insuring the OP wasn't the most bitter and spiteful poster on the thread.

(in reply to Zensee)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/27/2007 9:44:13 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

I've yet to name one arrogant person who isnt self-confident, undeserved as it may be


I have never met an arrogant and at the same time confident person... shrugs

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to ChainsandFreedom)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/27/2007 10:51:11 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Have you seen The Daily Show?

Okay people, my next guests are ChainsandFreedom from the OP, and then ChainsandFreedom from four minutes later.

ChainsandFreedom from the OP, before we start, do you have any questions you'd like to address?
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainsandFreedom

Are you frequent poster's just right all the time about everything you reply to, or are you learning new things about the topics you post about?


Ah, provacative!  ChainsandFreedom from four minutes later, would you like to take that one?

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainsandFreedom

Yep. Still arrogant. Sorry about that.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't, sometimes I'm just confident in myself.



Okay, fine.  So Jon Stewart tends to make these longer, but I'm working with enough material to fill not even a third of a page, he gets days with of video and events to go through to find his material.  *Grumble.*

---

A lot of people feel this way, and, hey, it is important to keep an open mind.  It would likely strike one as reasonable to assume that not everyone's mind's open all of the time.  It seems some older individuals are likely to have their stances ingrained in their minds at later stages in life, unable to adopt new opinions.  Others are stagnant, hardly growing nor advancing with new insights.

Regardless, are you here to enlighten others or yourself?  (Yes, yes; realisically, it's almost certainly both to some degree or another.  However, what's the biggie?)  Have you picked up a Physics book lately?  So much brilliant information in a Physic's textbook on the very nature of this world.. yet it's surprisingly difficult to compel most people to do so.  Perhaps, one requires a gain to their ego to compel them to adopt new truth, that unflattering or uncomfortable truths, or even simply inconvinient truths, tend to be ignored?

< Message edited by CuriousLord -- 11/27/2007 11:05:16 PM >

(in reply to ChainsandFreedom)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/27/2007 11:23:12 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Have I ever changed my mind about something after reading something on a Collarme forum?

Sometimes yes. But I rarely have the same mindset or a particular set of emotions or feelings each time I log into CM and these boards.

I like to think that I log in usually with an open mind. I don't post 'the same' advice, but what I'm thinking and feeling at the time. It might be similar to previous postings, it might be different. It might be right, it might be wrong. I'm human and being human I have a capacity for both mistakes and stupidity. But I'm honest and I admit it.

I take both the posting and the person who wrote it purely at face value. They also have the right to mistakes and stupidity.

I like these forums because they're international, you get a diverse range of people, and it can be both fun and also you can help people. It's not the best environment for a closed mind.

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(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/28/2007 12:08:33 AM   
Zensee


Posts: 1564
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainsandFreedom

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zensee

Nice to see how much you've matured and mellowed during your hiatus, CaF.

Thanks for returning to set us all straight on the meaning of everything. We've been floundering without you.


Z.



I'm touched to see I've left such a lasting impression on you after only debating you once or twice in the past. Thanks for insuring the OP wasn't the most bitter and spiteful poster on the thread.


Nobody likes to be outdone.

Z.


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"Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water." (proverb)

(in reply to ChainsandFreedom)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/28/2007 5:57:26 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainsandFreedom

*edit-typos abound

bullocks.
I've yet to name one arrogant person who isnt self-confident, undeserved as it may be.



Funny. I tend to find that self-confident people don't need to be arrogant. Most truly arrogant people I know come off as very self-confident but are actually pretty insecure.

BINGO!...and the arrogance is an attempt to cover the insecurity


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(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/28/2007 6:20:24 AM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		Learning to have thick skin.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/28/2007 6:33:10 AM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSCD

Learning to have thick skin.


Yes!  Good!

A lot of times on here have such thin skin that I often feel like I'm walking on egg shells not to hurt someone's feelings.  And, don't get me wrong, it's great when someone's sensitive enough to care about things, it's just too easy to accidently hurt people, and that's just very conductive to honesty or sincerity.

(in reply to MissSCD)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/28/2007 7:44:40 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainsandFreedom

Sweet, SimplyMichael. The system works for you, you showed me how, and you managed to write that incredibly quickly since I first posed the question.
Here's another question you may or may not find interesting: Isn't the concept of a 'skilled submissive' a rather subjective term? For instance, if topping from the bottom is the submissive's original intent, than from their perspective, wouldn't topping from the bottom successfully demark skill?


Actually, I had posted that earlier but thought it was a perfect example for this thread.  I used skilled submissive (I am no longer using experienced as an adjective) in the sense of one who is self aware and who has worked through many of the issues common to new submissives. 

I can't stand the concept of "topping from the bottom" because it is such a destructive  concept.  You see unskilled dominants terrified of listening to their submissive because that might make them "weak" and you see unskilled submissives terrified to say anything for fear of "topping from the bottom"! 

A submissive cannot top from the bottom unless the dominant allows it, period.  Compare it to back seat driving, they don't have the steering wheel, they don't have any of the controls, they can whine and snivel all they want but they are "driving" only if the driver listens to them. It has its place in a healthy relationship but people coming out of chatrooms and the internet just have zero clue about it.

I want to learn to use canes, when I do I am going to start by allowing BSB to have a lot of control of the scene, I WANT her to top from the bottom so I know I am getting instant feedback.  Only someone insecure in their skills as a dominant would fear that letting go of power risks losing that power forever.

(in reply to ChainsandFreedom)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/28/2007 8:42:54 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
A submissive cannot top from the bottom unless the dominant allows it, period.  Compare it to back seat driving, they don't have the steering wheel, they don't have any of the controls, they can whine and snivel all they want but they are "driving" only if the driver listens to them

Wonderful illustration!  I really like how you put this.
quote:

Only someone insecure in their skills as a dominant would fear that letting go of power risks losing that power forever.

Amen to that as well.  So true.........luci

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(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/28/2007 9:09:14 AM   
ChainsandFreedom


Posts: 222
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: forg0ttenclone

While i cannot say my mind has been changed by anything on here in particular.  I do read and browse the posts to learn and enlighten myself.  While some may offer the same advice, it doesn't make it wrong but it also doesn't make it right in all cases.  It is but one perspective.  We can ask for advice on here all day long.  But at the end of the day, it boils down to our own decisions and what perspectives and points of view we take into consideration before making that final decision.  We cannot read one book and assume we know everything about a particular topic when it is but one point of view. Sometimes you have to ask multiple times in multiple spots to get a complete view of the question/situation.  <shrug> Just my own two of three cents there.


well yes, I completely agree and think you said it very well, but I was more targeting some of the more political/social arguments people make again and again and again....I understanding standing up to your convictions, but my frustration lies more with the people who continue to spout the same thing every few days for months on end while ignoring the facts to the contrary repeatedly posted with regaurds to them... i.e. things like some of the posts and posters in the 'multiculturalism' thread...

(in reply to forg0ttenclone)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/28/2007 9:14:38 AM   
EPGAH


Posts: 500
Joined: 12/25/2006
Status: offline 		What surprises me is how so many people can perceive bigotry and hatred when/where there isn't any...I am sure that most of the people who believe my views are "opposite" theirs would discover that there isn't hatred, but fear and protectionism there...Nationalism does NOT equal racism!
Of course, the Internet doesn't portray voice-intonations yet, and so my comical aspersions about "dark magic" causing various things probably didn't help!

< Message edited by EPGAH -- 11/28/2007 9:17:00 AM >

(in reply to ChainsandFreedom)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/28/2007 9:27:08 AM   
ChainsandFreedom


Posts: 222
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Regardless, are you here to enlighten others or yourself?  (Yes, yes; realisically, it's almost certainly both to some degree or another.  However, what's the biggie?)  Have you picked up a Physics book lately?  So much brilliant information in a Physic's textbook on the very nature of this world.. yet it's surprisingly difficult to compel most people to do so.  Perhaps, one requires a gain to their ego to compel them to adopt new truth, that unflattering or uncomfortable truths, or even simply inconvinient truths, tend to be ignored


Personally I have learned that it's futile to enlighten others without attempting to enlightening oneself and I have been taught that its selfish to enlighten yourself without educating others.

I see your physics analogy, but these forums are like a physics library. There only point is the exchange of information. You can read, and you can write, and you can look at the pretty avatars, but at the end of the day, thats all there is to it...So I was lamenting the fact so many people are attracted to writing here but are so unwilling to modify there views or even respond to others arguments while presented with ample oppertunity to do so...after a few months away, it struck me how, often (but not always), hearing yourself talk at others through the anymous safe-haven of an internet fourm trumps the oppertunity to gain knowledge staring so many posters in the face.




(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/28/2007 9:33:52 AM   
ChainsandFreedom


Posts: 222
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline 		does it strike anyone else as ironic, how quickly everyone jumps to condemn arrogence in others without at least acknowledging their own liability such a judgement creates?

Thats my point. People try to snipe at one another on really basic, obvious grounds because they'd rather be 'right' than deal with any greater issue or just move on to something more salient.

Obviously, this is the problem with public internet communication everywhere, I just think it helps to point it out every once in awhile.


(in reply to ChainsandFreedom)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/28/2007 9:35:50 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Oh, you know--------*sighs*

I was only wrong once in my life, and that's when I thought I was wrong; but I wasn't.

Ron

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(in reply to ChainsandFreedom)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/28/2007 10:26:58 AM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline 		Yes, my mind has been changed by the Collarme Forums, right back in the start when I first came here.That thing was I am normal, just about as normal as everyone else here, what my feelings are are normal, I am not weird, sick or a danger to mankind.

The same topics keep coming up, perhaps these are core topics that everyone who comes here wants to know.I would rather those core topics come up so that everyone can understand regardless of their experience.

And with those core topics, there is always room for improvement in the answer gained by new insight and new people's thoughts.

Opinnions here, my own, I do not see as necessarily the 'right' opinnion, but what I happen to think at the time, that oppinion can be modified with time and other people's input.

Other's oppinions I will take on board, try to understand where they are coming from, take, disregard or modify my own based on parts which seem acceptable to me.

But on the whole, Collarme forums have done me a service, I now know more than I did and have a much more open mind and acceptance of people and their thoughts.

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Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to ChainsandFreedom)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/28/2007 10:38:25 AM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		wow. My but you are arrogant. So I guess youre right, the same old you has come back to the forum. Will you be up all night again this time? Or are you now president of the corporation that hired you. Im sure they knew right away that you knew how to do things better than anyone else. Lucky them to have you! 

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/28/2007 10:55:27 AM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I have changed my mind about something after reading a thread. Sometimes i have admitted to being wrong, sometimes my view points have hardened. All in all if we are not here to discuss and hopefully learn from others, then whats the point.

One thing i like about this place is the sheer variety of viewpoints. Even if they are wrong

(in reply to sophia37)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Have you ever changed your mind about something bec... - 11/28/2007 11:01:05 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainsandFreedom

*edit-typos abound

bullocks.
I've yet to name one arrogant person who isnt self-confident, undeserved as it may be.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainsandFreedom

Yep. Still arrogant. Sorry about that.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't, sometimes I'm just confident in myself.


Confidence and arrogance are really two completely seperate things.

Edited for a typo



Actually I have met many arrogant people who are covering up deep insecurities. I believe there can a chasm of difference between arrogant and self confident.

Edited to add an answer to the initial question.

Yes, there have been moments that my opinion has changed about certain subjects. I have found that the more I learn and the more I really focus on another person's experiences, regarding the topic, I can see it in a different light. Have an "ah haaaaa" moment.

I cannot say anything has changed my core beliefs, they stay a constant wether I bash them in the face of someone that believes differently or not. Usually I chose not to, especially if the person with the opposing view is someone I like or have some shred of respect for. It just depends upon the direction the thread is taking.



< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 11/28/2007 11:07:44 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to ChainsandFreedom)
Profile   Post #: 40
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