RE: Please, kindly reply even if...

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TiNeedsHouseboy -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/14/2005 4:54:09 AM)
I second nearly everything else that's been posted so far. So, rather than rehash the same notions, I'm going to toss out the techie angle. When you don't hear back, are you sure you overlap with primary stipulations in a prospective Domme's profile? If not, it's possible she's filtering out some response categories and never gets to see your e-mail. The mail controls allow you to screen out: No Profile Out of State Other Countries Male (dominant, submissive) Female (dominant, submissive) Couples Older than ____ years Younger than ____ years Do you check your "Sent" status to see if your note was actually read? Intentional filtering isn't the only blockade that occurs. CollarMe's server has a bug in the software. For unknown reasons, it will abruptly cause the mail feature to crap out for some people. The only solution is to change to a completely different user name when that happens. That's a commonplace occurrence, from what I can tell. In fact, I'm about to set up a brand new user name -- for the second time. It appears that I can no longer receive mail (which is what happened to my original CollarMe profile). In other words, if someone tries to send me e-mail via CollarMe at the moment, nothing shows up in my mail box. I also have a problem with the server chopping off my text. It used to be that it would cut me off after the first paragraph. Now, if I send more than a sentence or two, it junks the rest. (Look at the length of my posts. Do you think my e-mails would only be a sentence or two?!? LOL) In short, at least some of your "silence" MIGHT (can't be sure) be due to mysterious software bugs -- which some people may not even realize exist. ~ Ti ~

tarnishedhalo777 -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/14/2005 5:51:38 AM)
tis sad but true,they do not indeed read the profiles b/c I had mail waiting in my box when I first joind and profile was not even showing up yet.and I said I was not looking(it has since changed),lol....and i did try to send no thanks emails in return to be polite and yuppers...they think it means send more! so I will quit b/c I dont have the time on dial up[&:]

AAkasha -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/14/2005 4:35:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: torsub4u I have but one question actually many around the same topic, and it is something that has been bothering since joining this site, and a few other sites as well. Why is it that a great many Dommes (in my personal experience) do not reply to messages emailed them. I am speaking for myself here, but am sure a few other submissives have encountered the same thing. Is it too much to ask that a reply be sent stating that You're not interested. I would personally be content with just those two words. I understand that many Dommes recieve many emails from submissives, but is it too much to ask for a reply? Time, I do not think is an issue or an excuse in my mind, all it takes is a click on reply, typing two words "not interested" and a second click to send. It took me 10 seconds to type these instructions, and Im not even a good typist, so It shouldn't take a heck of alot of time to actually do it. Are we submissives or slaves, whichever we may be. to low a lifeform to deserve a reply because we have chosen to be submisives or slaves? I consider it a courtesy to at least reply to someone. Because I had some time today to actually stay on for awhile, as an experiment I went ahead and decided to answer any emails I got no matter what. Granted, I don't get many subs writing to me because of my profile. I'm currently on the fourth email with a guy (at some point, a femdom has to NOT respond, if he does keep writing, right?) who I politely said no to. The second email he sent was asking me to reconsider. I said no again, and wished him well on his searches. The third email asked me to tell him specifically what he was lacking. I said thanks but no thanks again, as I didnt intend to write a long email going point by point why I didn't have an interest. Then he initiated a chat request. I declined it. He sent another email, asking me to feel sorry for him, that really, he was desperate, and why could I not give him a try. Ok, so at what point do I stop responding to this guy? This kind of thing happens a lot. So if a femdom has a limited time to come on here and answer emails, understand why she may opt NOT to answer some and instead focus on the ones she think she might connect with. Akasha

EbonyVenus -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/14/2005 7:02:31 PM)
The problem is half of you don’t take the time to really read the profile so why should we take the time to answer? And who has time to constantly keep answering email that say “ HI MISTRESS???” And like many others have said, if your interesting enough and make your introduction for the Mistress you are writing to and not so general <as if your talking to a bunch of Mistresses at once> then we might answer more emails Please don’t be offended if a Mistress doesn’t answer your request, take it as a NO and move on Sweet Darkness EV

MaitresseEden -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/15/2005 12:57:01 AM)
We discussed this topic a not to long ago and I then put a qualifier in the bottom of my profile. Since then I have recieved over 100 emails, and of them only 4 person's took the time to actual prove to me that that had read my profile. If correspondence to me doesn't base that initial test, I click delete. Almost all have claimed to have read my profile, yet most can't follow the simplist of directions in it. Ms.Eden

torsub4u -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/15/2005 8:21:30 PM)
The following may not please many of You but I will post it as a last to this topic I've opened. Maybe I'm not making myself clear here in the forum, but my issue is with my personal experiences. That being said, and to reply in general to some of the reply posts, and not pointing at any one post in particular I state the following: I have never sent one liners. (maybe a few but to one liner profiles). I have always read profiles thoroughly before responding, and have visited corresponding personal and or business websites for some Dommes. My introductory emails have always directly responded to their profile details, and I've even tried to keep it somewhat short, so as not to take up too much time of the Domme. I've even read many distant profiles of Dommes that I know I would not be suitable for, just to point out and compliment them on Their profiles,, and maybe even to make friends in the lifestyle. They have all, each and every one of them has replied with a thankyou, and some I still converse with as well. I also realize that some, especially the Professional Dommes, that not only live in the lifestyle but also practice this lifestyle on a professional level have little time to answer each and every email they recieve. I also understand that some lifestylers, that are not professional Dommes but are part of a busy vanilla lifestyle sometimes do not have time to answer each email. I also understand that there are many insecure with themselves, stalker, cannot take no as an answer subs, That give other genuine sincere submissives bad names. I understand all points brought up and generalized some of them above, and going on this I will assume, with regards to my own emails to Dommes, 1. They have either not taken the time or half or a quarter of the time I've spent writing them an email or reading their profile to either read my email in its entirety or my profile for that matter, because they do not have time. 2. They do not possess the courtesy to email me a "not interested" reply for fear I may email them to ask why (because of experience with other subs). 3. They are simply not interested, which is the most likely one. 4. They don't care how much time I have spent writing this letter to them, they get so many emails almost essays in length that they cannot possibly reply to all of them. 5. The majority (quite a few) Dommes on CM always state that they will not read, nor accept one liners, or mispelling, but they are busy reading them, and can't reply to my much more detailed and lengthy emails. 6. Last but not least, there was no need to read my email because they have looked at my profile interests, and I don't have something they enjoy listed, too young, too old, so the delete button is hit instantaneously. All can be valid, and I accept them all, and conclude this is true......."To each their own" I just haven't met the One for me. So in closing I consider the topic I've opened closed in my eyes. Thanks to all for Your input.

subfever -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/15/2005 11:46:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel I must be doing something wrong....... my inbox is never overwhelming... and I answer each and every email... even the single word ones.. granted I answer with one word, but I do answer it. Jewel Bravo to you! While I don't feel that insulting approaches deserve any response whatsoever, I do admire your M.O.! subfever

subfever -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/15/2005 11:49:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha quote: ORIGINAL: torsub4u I have but one question actually many around the same topic, and it is something that has been bothering since joining this site, and a few other sites as well. Why is it that a great many Dommes (in my personal experience) do not reply to messages emailed them. I am speaking for myself here, but am sure a few other submissives have encountered the same thing. Is it too much to ask that a reply be sent stating that You're not interested. I would personally be content with just those two words. I understand that many Dommes recieve many emails from submissives, but is it too much to ask for a reply? Time, I do not think is an issue or an excuse in my mind, all it takes is a click on reply, typing two words "not interested" and a second click to send. It took me 10 seconds to type these instructions, and Im not even a good typist, so It shouldn't take a heck of alot of time to actually do it. Are we submissives or slaves, whichever we may be. to low a lifeform to deserve a reply because we have chosen to be submisives or slaves? I consider it a courtesy to at least reply to someone. Because I had some time today to actually stay on for awhile, as an experiment I went ahead and decided to answer any emails I got no matter what. Granted, I don't get many subs writing to me because of my profile. I'm currently on the fourth email with a guy (at some point, a femdom has to NOT respond, if he does keep writing, right?) who I politely said no to. The second email he sent was asking me to reconsider. I said no again, and wished him well on his searches. The third email asked me to tell him specifically what he was lacking. I said thanks but no thanks again, as I didnt intend to write a long email going point by point why I didn't have an interest. Then he initiated a chat request. I declined it. He sent another email, asking me to feel sorry for him, that really, he was desperate, and why could I not give him a try. Ok, so at what point do I stop responding to this guy? This kind of thing happens a lot. So if a femdom has a limited time to come on here and answer emails, understand why she may opt NOT to answer some and instead focus on the ones she think she might connect with. Akasha At what point? I'd say after your first polite "No thank you."

Sundew02 -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/15/2005 11:57:38 PM)
I answer all appropriate emails. IF they are repeats and believe me some just go through and keep sending the same email over and over again to every Domme that is listed here, I don't reply. If they are in a country on the backside of Hades, no I dont reply. Some I reply to and oh lets say 2 months later they email with the opener again, I don't reply. If they have obviously NOT taken the time to read my profile, then why should I take the the time to email them? Yes, I get rashes of emails, I might take a week to answer them all, but I do it. I love manners and exercise them in my own life. Sundew

subfever -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/16/2005 12:00:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EbonyVenus The problem is half of you don’t take the time to really read the profile so why should we take the time to answer? And who has time to constantly keep answering email that say “ HI MISTRESS???” And like many others have said, if your interesting enough and make your introduction for the Mistress you are writing to and not so general <as if your talking to a bunch of Mistresses at once> then we might answer more emails Please don’t be offended if a Mistress doesn’t answer your request, take it as a NO and move on Sweet Darkness EV I don't doubt for a moment that at least half the approaches Dommes receive are somehow insulting. However, what if an honest, intelligent, and expressive effort is not even acknowledged? Should a malesub simply not take it personally and just move on? subfever

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/16/2005 12:12:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subfever what if an honest, intelligent, and expressive effort is not even acknowledged? Should a malesub simply not take it personally and just move on? subfever It depends: 1)If you're VERY interested in the person, send her a second note saying something nice/kind or regarding first email, than if no response, leave her alone and move on. 2)If you're not that into her anyway, if she doesn't reply a kind note with anything, just move on. M

ManOwner -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/16/2005 12:17:18 AM)
My profile says the following: quote: If you are married, not local, or over 40, I am not likely to respond to you. If your message looks like a form letter or mass email, I am not likely to respond to you. I also find it inexcusable when someone I've been talking to consistently just drops off the face of the earth. As a Domme, nothing steams me more than being blown off by a guy. Not only is such behavior disrespectful in a general sense, but it reflects very badly on one's ability to serve.

subfever -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/16/2005 12:20:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MaitresseEden We discussed this topic a not to long ago and I then put a qualifier in the bottom of my profile. Since then I have recieved over 100 emails, and of them only 4 person's took the time to actual prove to me that that had read my profile. If correspondence to me doesn't base that initial test, I click delete. Almost all have claimed to have read my profile, yet most can't follow the simplist of directions in it. Ms.Eden I don't think that anyone here is arguing whether or not insulting approaches should be ignored. Let's talk about respectful and articulate approaches from malesubs that are not even acknowledged. It seems evident from this thread and others that this is a very common problem. What would you say to the malesubs who have suffered such shabby treatment? What would you say to the Ladies who dole out such treatment? subfever

subfever -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/16/2005 12:30:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig quote: ORIGINAL: subfever what if an honest, intelligent, and expressive effort is not even acknowledged? Should a malesub simply not take it personally and just move on? subfever It depends: 1)If you're VERY interested in the person, send her a second note saying something nice/kind or regarding first email, than if no response, leave her alone and move on. 2)If you're not that into her anyway, if she doesn't reply a kind note with anything, just move on. M Okay, so then you're saying that even if we follow up with a second honest, intelligent, and expressive note to a Domme we're VERY interested in... and she doesn't even acknowledge it a second time... then we should simply not take it personally and move on? subfever

subfever -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/16/2005 12:42:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ManOwner My profile says the following: quote: If you are married, not local, or over 40, I am not likely to respond to you. If your message looks like a form letter or mass email, I am not likely to respond to you. I also find it inexcusable when someone I've been talking to consistently just drops off the face of the earth. As a Domme, nothing steams me more than being blown off by a guy. Not only is such behavior disrespectful in a general sense, but it reflects very badly on one's ability to serve. Such behavior is inexcusable! But I'm curious. Should it steam a malesub any less when a Domme falls off the face of the earth after consistent open dialog? How does this cowardly and/or deceitful behavior reflect on a Domme's ability to dominate?

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/16/2005 12:43:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subfever then you're saying that even if we follow up with a second honest, intelligent, and expressive note to a Domme we're VERY interested in... and she doesn't even acknowledge it a second time... then we should simply not take it personally and move on? subfever Yes that is exactly what I'm saying. It's not impossible that you became interested in someone who is either too busy to read your email/respond, or too much of an inconsiderate/discourteous ___ to say, "thanks, but I'm not interested." Whatever the reason, drop the issue (especially since you may have erred in thinking she was a kind/considerate human being anyway). M

ManOwner -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/16/2005 12:45:22 AM)
Yeah. People suck. Get over it.

subfever -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/16/2005 1:32:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig quote: ORIGINAL: subfever then you're saying that even if we follow up with a second honest, intelligent, and expressive note to a Domme we're VERY interested in... and she doesn't even acknowledge it a second time... then we should simply not take it personally and move on? subfever Yes that is exactly what I'm saying. It's not impossible that you became interested in someone who is either too busy to read your email/respond, or too much of an inconsiderate/discourteous ___ to say, "thanks, but I'm not interested." Whatever the reason, drop the issue (especially since you may have erred in thinking she was a kind/considerate human being anyway). M I think your key phrase was inconsiderate/discourteous ___ . My opinion? I think there's far too much of this behavior going on these days. I've seen plenty of justification in this thread and elsewhere as to why the Ladies won't even acknowledge malesub approaches, but far less confirmation towards the grossly poor manners that malesubs suffer on a consistent basis when sending out respectful and expressive approaches. Again, I'm not arguing the fact that insulting approaches should be ignored. And I have no doubt that at least half of all malesub approaches are insulting in one way or another. But isn't it high time that the Ladies make an effort to acknowledge non-insulting approaches on a consistent basis? Wouldn't this make life better for both malesubs and Dommes over the long haul? What better improves a man, encouragement or beating him up? (Assuming, of course, that one doesn't seek a listless doormat.) Is it realistic to expect honest, intelligent, and expressive malesubs to get beat up year after year and still maintain high-quality approaches influenced by positive attitudes? My thoughts and questions aren't directed at BlkTallFullfig personally, but rather to all the Ladies on this and other similiar threads. subfever

ManOwner -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/16/2005 3:54:30 AM)
quote: Are we submissives or slaves, whichever we may be. to low a lifeform to deserve a reply because we have chosen to be submisives or slaves? I consider it a courtesy to at least reply to someone. subfever: this is what we were responding to. Tor wanted to know the reason(s) why he was not getting responses to many of his emails. This was not meant to be a gripe session about how unseemly it is to ignore messages. But if it will make you happy, then I will give you what you want. Listen up, fellow Dommes. Shame on you for repeatedly blowing off polite, respectful subs that put time and effort into sending you nice emails! You are rude and inconsiderate, and I hereby scorn thee.

FTopinMichigan -> RE: Please, kindly reply even if... (8/16/2005 6:30:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subfever Okay, so then you're saying that even if we follow up with a second honest, intelligent, and expressive note to a Domme we're VERY interested in... and she doesn't even acknowledge it a second time... then we should simply not take it personally and move on? IMO, yes, you should move on. Do you really want to pursue, or be pursued by a person that would treat you so flippantly, or ignore you, if you were so thoughtful in your contact to them? But first and foremost, I think a person should also consider their approach, and does it meet the request, or needs of the person they are responding to. If you're totally off base with your e-mail letter of interest, I don't know how you can ever expect a response. Most of the "honest, intelligent and expressive notes" that I've received have also been TOTALLY self centered, and are in no way in conjunction to anything I've listed within my own profile. It is, more than not, an e-mail that details all about what the man "wants." He IS honest about what HE wants. He IS intelligent and articulate in his wording (sometimes, but most e-mails come in phrases and framented sentences). He IS clearly expressing what HE wants. Also, I'm wondering how a man can be "VERY" interested in a woman, if he knows little about her. How can a person offer themselves, or request intimate encounters, without knowing a single thing about the person they are writing to. (I've had intros come in with "I'm willing to relocate"...how is that...you don't even know my name?) Today, I got an e-mail (with my profile clearly requesting a "thorough introduction") that just said "wow." Am I suppose to respond to that too? Online contact is considerably different than in person, face-to-face. Unfortunately, the majority of e-mail that I receive is written in phrases, and is self centered. (I don't know if men experience the same type of contact, so I only speak from what I know myself.) My best advice is if a woman doesn't respond, you might try "one" more contact, in the event the e-mail didn't get through. To pursue, or make repeated contacts, after rejection or no response is foolish, and a waste of time. Maybe get a thicker skin and change your approach, if it's not working for you. 'No' really means 'no,' and no response would be similar, in my book. K

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