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Are we control freaks? - 11/28/2007 7:23:23 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I have seen LA say many times that subs are control freaks in other aspects of their lives. I examined this and found it to be true for me. In my job, whether everything is in control and going as planned. At home, everything is on schedule, dinner, horses fed, etc.

I find that in my life I like everything with rules, schedules etc. Do you find the same is true for you?

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Sir Pain's pain slut

Post #: 1

RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/28/2007 7:47:44 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Yup. I don't think ALL s-types are control freaks, just the majority. And I find that's surprising because everyone likes to talk about s-types being the ones to give up control. But I find that they really simply use that as another way to keep control- by making it a very real and conscious part of their lives, even their intimate long term relationship.

And I find that far fewer doms actually are control freaks, most of them are more just problem solver types.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1392095/mpage_1/key_perfectionist/tm.htm#1392252
Are you a control freak?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_517295/mpage_2/key_ocd/tm.htm#517508
perfectionist

http://www.collarchat.com/m_630650/mpage_1/key_ocd/tm.htm#630650
trichitillomania

http://www.collarchat.com/m_780796/mpage_1/key_ocd/tm.htm#780863
calling all perfectionist submissives

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 2

RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/28/2007 8:05:48 PM

DarkDaddyZ

Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Yup. I don't think ALL s-types are control freaks, just the majority. And I find that's surprising because everyone likes to talk about s-types being the ones to give up control. But I find that they really simply use that as another way to keep control- by making it a very real and conscious part of their lives, even their intimate long term relationship.

And I find that far fewer doms actually are control freaks, most of them are more just problem solver types.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1392095/mpage_1/key_perfectionist/tm.htm#1392252
Are you a control freak?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_517295/mpage_2/key_ocd/tm.htm#517508
perfectionist

http://www.collarchat.com/m_630650/mpage_1/key_ocd/tm.htm#630650
trichitillomania

http://www.collarchat.com/m_780796/mpage_1/key_ocd/tm.htm#780863
calling all perfectionist submissives

I'd certainly agree with both of you based on my experiences.

_____________________________

"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 3

RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/28/2007 8:16:32 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I am not a control freak. I used to be very perfectionistic, and I wanted control over my own thing, but embracing my submissiveness cured me of it.

I am one of the least controlling people I know, and even my son says this is true... he sometimes wishes I was more controlling...lol

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 4

RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 12:51:15 AM

michelleryder

Posts: 198
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline

I can't even control the dog

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 5

RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 4:46:38 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

I have seen LA say many times that subs are control freaks in other aspects of their lives. I examined this and found it to be true for me. In my job, whether everything is in control and going as planned. At home, everything is on schedule, dinner, horses fed, etc.

I find that in my life I like everything with rules, schedules etc. Do you find the same is true for you?

Yes. Though, the home part, I will be the first to admit...I could care less if everything is on schedule...work; I have to be in complete control to stay alive; no other way around it.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 6

RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 4:48:02 AM

wisteriaV

Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline

In my view, you have to be able to control yourself before giving up that control to another person. So yes, in certain aspects of my life I am controlling: Such as how the kitchen is organized and cleaned, what day of the week the sheets get laundered, who in my family to avoid at all possible costs ( we all have those odd family members) the animals we have,certain aspects of my job ect..When it comes to the relationship I have with Master, he controls it all and its very easy for me to give up that control when I am out of the elements I am in control of.

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to michelleryder)

Post #: 7

RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 5:53:20 AM

Teles

Posts: 44
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

I know I am. I'm an incredibly compliant, witty and somewhat removed person...until a certain point. Haha. I'm a brick wall about getting my way when it comes to certain things...don't change my mind easily...manipulate situations in my life quite consciously to produce certain outcomes. I mean, I'm a sweet person and all, but I do try to influence the way things happen and stuff... I dunno. That being said, before I REALLY told Teles how interested in BDSM I was, I tried to dom him several times (we're a couple of five years). Haha. Control freak... So hard for me to give up control :)

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 8

RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 6:07:35 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i'm an aggressive control freak - everything (including my wedding) have to be perfect and on schedule. if not, someone is going to get hurt. for my wedding, i have a detailed, organized schedule down to the minute from the time photographers are snapping pictures before the wedding to the time i'm walking down the aisle with or without bodies in the seats. when i say i'm walking down the aisle at 12:30p, i really mean exactly at 12:30:00 i'm walking down the aisle with Daddy at my side. it's an annoying bad habit learned while growing up military - my father ran a tight boot camp.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 9

RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 6:13:28 AM

BeingChewsie

Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline

Quick reply:

Yes I am. No question about it. :)

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 10

RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 7:39:11 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

I agree with the words but disagree with the term control freak as certainly for me it is far different to how we usually define and point to.

For me it is not control but the drive to eliminate uncertainty. So I am quite rigid and routine oriented. I am teased or get people miffed at work by demanding everything is stocked and in the right place whenever we have the time to accomplish it. I work a lot of the time in very chaotic situations that control becomes a silly word and it does not bother me at all.

At home I am very routine oriented as well but my motivation is not out of this is how it should be done but that I want my Master not to have to deal with surprises from my end that might interfere in what he wants to do or expects.

But to me a control freak is a person who needs to be in control not a person who is routine oriented or has a preference that their rank at work can make happen. To me a control freak needs things done their way and will step on anyone they can to make it happen. I think me and I am guessing many submissives our motivations for our actions are quite the opposite in that we are doing things so we do not cause problems or wedge ourselves into a situation that causes others problems.

The example I always use is being asked over to someone’s house for dinner. It drives me insane with nerves when I ask if I can bring something and they say no or if I try to do the dishes and they insist that is not wanted. I cannot help think are they just saying those things but expecting or hoping something different or they do mean it. I am not in control but what I am not in control is knowing with certainty what others are wanting. To me a control freak getting invited over to dinner their issues are more about them thinking they would prefer this should be done that way. That they worry because they did not clean the silverware it might not be clean to their standards. There need for control is about others doing exactly what they think should be done.

To me submissives maybe control freaks but in terms of the aspect at play with a submissive personality we want to control uncertainty and that may or may not cause conflict with other people. True control freaks have no chance but not to interfere with other people on most everything they do.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 11

RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 8:28:19 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

No, we aren't all control freaks.

this slave wouldn't consider herself a control freak, as she has no obsessive need to exert control over situations, other folks, relationships, etc.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 12

RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 11:46:06 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

No, we aren't all control freaks.

this slave wouldn't consider herself a control freak, as she has no obsessive need to exert control over situations, other folks, relationships, etc.

/sigh

MissBeth, if I may say lol...sometimes I do envy you

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 13

RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 1:36:02 PM

goodgirl08

Posts: 145
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline

I tried and failed at being a control freak. But, I am hardworking and doggedly persevering at things that I want, which are in the same ballpark of personality traits.

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 14

RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 1:53:50 PM

daddyncherry

Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

i never thought i was but i have found that i am a total control freak when it comes to myself.

i don't drink or do drugs because i totally lose control....

i am a compulsive perfectionist...which i now now is a control thing.

i have a ton of fears that "control" me, but really that is me being a control freak to an extent.

So yeah, i'm guilty and working on it.

_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to goodgirl08)

Post #: 15

RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 2:32:57 PM

phedre81

Posts: 56
Joined: 10/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Yup. I don't think ALL s-types are control freaks, just the majority. And I find that's surprising because everyone likes to talk about s-types being the ones to give up control. But I find that they really simply use that as another way to keep control- by making it a very real and conscious part of their lives, even their intimate long term relationship.

And I find that far fewer doms actually are control freaks, most of them are more just problem solver types.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1392095/mpage_1/key_perfectionist/tm.htm#1392252
Are you a control freak?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_517295/mpage_2/key_ocd/tm.htm#517508
perfectionist

http://www.collarchat.com/m_630650/mpage_1/key_ocd/tm.htm#630650
trichitillomania

http://www.collarchat.com/m_780796/mpage_1/key_ocd/tm.htm#780863
calling all perfectionist submissives

Oh my goodness. A post I started has been referenced by LA. I now feel like a real member of the community!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 16

RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 2:57:08 PM

gorgeous1

Posts: 367
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline

Yes. I am a complete control freak in non-sexual situations.

_____________________________

Wife/property of CapnSpankins...and loving every minute of it! Visit my juicy blog http://www.kinkycrafts.info/gorgeous-blog/gblog.php for updates on my slave training!

(in reply to phedre81)

Post #: 17

RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 3:43:09 PM

salilus

Posts: 201
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline

Um. Yes. I have OCD.

It's better now, though. :)

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 18

RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 4:40:04 PM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

A perfectionist most definitely, everything (and everyone) in it's place.

Control freak? Only when someone else grabs the remote. I disintegrate.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 19

RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 4:50:12 PM

charlotte12

Posts: 471
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline

I like how toservez put it. I wouldn't consider myself a control freak (though i think i have the capability and try very hard not to be.) But i do thrive very much with structure around me. I like things to be organized, i'm horrible with uncertainty.

I had a dream the other night that me and Master had to escape somewhere and pack and leave very quickly. Most of the dream comprised of me trying to organize everythign we had to pack in the car.

_____________________________

Stephan's slaveling

"I'm not superior, I'm just more important." Master (Stephann)

"When you are your freest self, who are you?" Jack Rinella

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 20

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