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RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 6:48:08 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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LOL thanks Phedre. It's so in line with me also- I embody so many seemingly dissonant characteristics. I am a control freak, and yet most of the time, I approach things completely laid back with a "time will tell" attitude. Perhaps it's because I've controlled enough that I can relax into it.

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RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 6:54:59 PM

Machts

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I have a question, How much structure do you impose on your dominant with your expectations?

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RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 7:22:39 PM

unravel

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Oh yes... i am certainly a control freak at work and elsewhere. lol
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RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 7:26:48 PM

Bethnai

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I'm not a control freak. This and this must be accomplished, there is no group, no other etc. Just me. In those responsibilities in my life......I accept the responsibility of being in control. However, I.........hold my enemies closer and I get a huge kick, huge, and did I mention huge, of watching others attempt to take control of things....like birthday parties, Xmas parties, anything like that. Peopole are my amusement until I can excuse myself.

I get a balance, don't get me wrong, but I'm not even close to throwing myself in the middle of drama. Not saying anyone else is, just saying ...........it might equate that for me.

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RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 7:34:14 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Machts
I have a question, How much structure do you impose on your dominant with your expectations?

None, that would go against the foundations of what I believe make a good lasting relationship. In my previous Ms relationships, my owners either accepted my quirks as aligning with their own agendas, ignored them as they had no effect on the relationship, or told me to repress them.

In my current relationship, we are vanilla- we are both switches who switch with eachother.

We all choose who we are in a relationship with, we only impose on ourselves.

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RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/29/2007 7:56:32 PM

petdave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
And I find that far fewer doms actually are control freaks, most of them are more just problem solver types.

Now that's where i stand... problem solver. i'm generally chaotic, and there's nothing i hate more than having to ride herd on people in my professional life, but i do solve problems.

Somehow, i missed the "subs who are confident, aggressive go-getters outside the bedroom" bus

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RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/30/2007 10:01:43 AM

fairerthanshe

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Greetings,

i don't think of myself as a control freak for the most part. Though recently I realized that I may have some issues surrounding driving...I do have severe OCD when it comes to cleaning, but I don't expect others to maintain the cleanliness. One of the things that balances out for SJ and me is that he likes to be messy and I like to clean. It adds to that compatibility factor LA has mentioned previously.

ww ~ fairer

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RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/30/2007 10:43:34 AM

frm14slv

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It is not unusual for someone who is in a high-pressure job and/or having to make serious decisions that may be life and death either figuratively or literally will tend to be submissives if they are into bdsm. It is their way of bringing balance to their lives by going from being the one looked to for all the decisions to giving the decision-making over to someone else. The bondage, the discipline, the s&m become tools or means of telling the submissive that he or she is "not" the one in control.

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RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/30/2007 2:28:26 PM

agirl

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I'm definitely not a control freak. * Long live* anyone that takes control around here. I'm only too happy to let them if they're able. I keep tabs on the sprogs from a respectful distance, allowing them to arrange and control their own lives. They know what's required, far better than I do, in their lives. I find it quite easy to let go and am content with *good enough* most of the time.

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RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/30/2007 6:01:22 PM

Darkhaven80

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quote:

ORIGINAL: michelleryder

I can't even control the dog

I agree. That most subs are control freaks is major news to me. I'm great at taking care of others and work better with direction. My life is chaotic. Sure I support myself, live alone and am completely independant, but organized control freak or else a perfectionist? Not me at ALL

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RE: Are we control freaks? - 11/30/2007 6:31:49 PM

Rayne58