RE: Would/could this be effective?

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CalifChick -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 5:43:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic quote: it comes down to balancing fun.aganst. if not a loved one. some one you care about's mental health If it truly does come down to that, then, of course I'm going to choose her mental health. But, am I really so wrong for trying to find a way to have both? Yes it is wrong, because you're not listening to us. We're telling you to LET IT GO FOR NOW and all you keep doing is looking for another way around it. There is no way around it. She cannot Domme, she cannot sub, she cannot tie people up, she cannot BE tied up. Talk about freakin persistent. Cali

TwiztdErotic -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 6:14:32 PM)
of course I'm freakin persistent. it's in my very nature to be persistent. As a Dom, I'm used to getting what I want. While puppy may not have always given me what I wanted so easily, she's always been willing to just let me take it from her. However, that turned out to be damaging and so it was stopped. Further investigation into the matter revealed a mental illness..okay, I can deal with that.. but I'm still inclined to make an attempt at getting what I want, too. At least give me some credit for being concerned about how it would affect her before going off and doing things to get what I wanted and NOT doing them if it turned out that it would be damaging. I'm a persistent bastard, yes. I'll give you that much. But, I'm not a TOTAL asshole.

Jeffff -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 6:25:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic of course I'm freakin persistent. it's in my very nature to be persistent. As a Dom, I'm used to getting what I want. While puppy may not have always given me what I wanted so easily, she's always been willing to just let me take it from her. However, that turned out to be damaging and so it was stopped. Further investigation into the matter revealed a mental illness..okay, I can deal with that.. but I'm still inclined to make an attempt at getting what I want, too. At least give me some credit for being concerned about how it would affect her before going off and doing things to get what I wanted and NOT doing them if it turned out that it would be damaging. I'm a persistent bastard, yes. I'll give you that much. But, I'm not a TOTAL asshole. Dude......I just read your profile. You have this ....story book idea of what a Dom is. You have illustrated , at leat to me, that you have missed a key part of being dominant.You have no apparent sense of responsibilty to this girl. I am stunned by your refusal to see anything but what YOU want. You get NO credit for anything. Jeff

Statepalace -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 6:42:17 PM)
It takes a village to raise a Dom. Let me go back to the energy thing. She needs to put ALL of hers into her health. To use another dog reference - my sister and her fiance recently rescued a dog. It has heart worms. It is taking meds. These meds require that the dog be very quiet and rest a lot, even though it wants to run around and play. My sister and her fiance would love to take the dog for a run. The dog would love to go for a run. It is in the best interest of the long term health and happiness of all involved if that run is postponed for a few months. Take a three month BDSM break while both of you go to a therapist. Chart her moods, eat right, go for slow walks around the block and discuss what you both want. Think of it as a fresh beginning. Read some books on this stuff. Keep posting here and asking questions (but not the same one, please - seriously). Do NOT introduce another girl into a situation that is not stable. Lastly, if you cannot put your own needs on hold for a few weeks, you do not have the intestinal fortitude necessary to made a long term relationship work. Period. Nothing wrong with that. Just recognize it, end the relationship and go "play" where you won't risk hurting someone that is attached to you.

TwiztdErotic -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 6:56:00 PM)
Three months? that's all? here I am thinking that it's going to take at least a year before she'll have worked through this enough to resume any type of M/s dynamic. However, as I've stated, I am awfully persistent. I'm also very inquisitive. So, until someone can tell me why it is that she cannot Domme another woman who is not attached to us if it wouldn't cause her to have any episodes and isn't really taking away from her getting help, I'm still going to be curious.

Lucylastic -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 7:12:35 PM)
ummmmm just a thought here, but have you thought about the second person coming into this? Doesnt she have a right to some idea of what she is possibly getting herself into? and to make a decision based on those facts. What if "puppy" does have a panic attack or a moment of uncertainty and have even a light anxious moment? Have you even spoken to your "puppy" about your thoughts? about adding a second to the mess? letting her think about it and make an informed choice? not saying yes just because you want it and cant be monogomous ? there are all kinds of pitfalls here, but I have to leave for now.. Think with the big boy head about YOUR responsibility, not just as a "master" but as a human being Lucy

laurell3 -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 7:12:57 PM)
Why on god's green earth would you invite another to this train wreck? You have one person you can't possibly fulfill your obligation with and aren't fully considering...adding another would somehow fix that? I really think you're also needing professional help.

Statepalace -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 7:18:22 PM)
Just a note to clarify - I did not say all it would take was three months. I used that as a starting figure. Why not involve another? This is a perfect question to ask your kink friendly therapist that you will be making an appointment with as soon as possible.

CalifChick -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 7:31:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic However, as I've stated, I am awfully persistent. I'm also very inquisitive. So, until someone can tell me why it is that she cannot Domme another woman who is not attached to us if it wouldn't cause her to have any episodes and isn't really taking away from her getting help, I'm still going to be curious. [sm=banghead.gif] [sm=banghead.gif] [sm=banghead.gif] [sm=banghead.gif] [sm=banghead.gif] [sm=banghead.gif] [sm=banghead.gif] She does not have the MENTAL CAPACITY at this time to control her moods, her emotions, or her actions. Therefore, she does not have the MENTAL CAPACITY at this time to control someone else, to care for someone else, to take care of someone else, to take someone else's trust into her care and not abuse it, to control a situation, etc., etc., etc. Straight sex, that's all you get. No mind play, no service, no subspace, no topping, no subbing, no kinky anything. NOTHING. Let the girl HEAL. And if you don't get with the program soon, we're gonna take that away too! Cali

TwiztdErotic -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 7:45:54 PM)
quote: ummmmm just a thought here, but have you thought about the second person coming into this? Doesnt she have a right to some idea of what she is possibly getting herself into? and to make a decision based on those facts. What if "puppy" does have a panic attack or a moment of uncertainty and have even a light anxious moment? Have you even spoken to your "puppy" about your thoughts? about adding a second to the mess? letting her think about it and make an informed choice? not saying yes just because you want it and cant be monogomous ? there are all kinds of pitfalls here, but I have to leave for now.. Think with the big boy head about YOUR responsibility, not just as a "master" but as a human being when it comes to her mental health, she has every right to decide for herself what she is comfortable with and what she isn't. Trust me, having a woman serve her is not something that's going to cause her to freak out. she freaks out when she doesn't want to do something or doesn't have control over something, mostly. this is something that she does want, because she does enjoy it. it has nothing to do with me wanting it and her agreeing to it. she likes women every bit as much as I do. As for my not being monogamous..neither is she. we're not exactly the "lets live in a house with 12 people and fuck the shit out of all of em" poly type, but we're not exactly monogamous, either. If she did happen to have trouble with it, the girl would be sent home. this, to me, has a very low probability, though. I know puppy pretty well..being put in a situation that she likes isn't likely to bring about a negative reaction. the only real potential that I see for a problem would be if the two just don't get along, which is something that could occur no matter how stable she is. To me, there's no more risk in this than going out for icecream. Does she like icecream? yes, just as much as she likes submissive women. However, the person serving her the icecream might somehow provoke her. But, if I'm to avoid any situation where she might be provoked by anyone at all, I may as well put her in a bubble for the next few months.

CalifChick -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 7:50:04 PM)
You don't "get it", you're not going to "get it", it is obvious from your many posts/justifications regarding your actions that you just want to be right. Fine, you're right. I give up. Cali

sexyred1 -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 7:50:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic quote: ANY energy she turns towards you is energy that she needs to turn inwards and work on herself. This one line struck a chord with me more powerful, perhaps, than any other on this forum. By now, I realize that the M/s play has got to stop, but..lemme just tell you that I think that fuckin' sucks. I wanna play damnit.[sm=frown.gif] Luckily, I've never been a monogamous creature. However, if I was to just be like 'well..since you can't be the slave I want, I'm going to have to find another one' because, well..that'd turn out to be a fuckin' disaster. So..since she identifies herself as a switch and she's bisexual..I'm wondering..would it hurt to try things as a Dom/Domme couple and look for a girl to submit to both of us? You know, I was not going to even bother posting after your other thread, but this post killed me. You say above that the very insightful comment about her energy needing to be directed towards herself struck a chord in you; wow, I said to myself, there is some hope for this young man after all. Then you fucking blew it by what you said after. Are you kidding me with the selfish bullshit about becoming a Dom/Domme couple just so you could get your rocks off? That stupid selfish comment completely negates any integrity you had by posting anything about this poor girl, who really does need a better MAN and not a BOY who is so self involved that he does not listen to the intelligent advice given by those who have experienced this and even more intense situations that we you are describing. I despair for your girl, I truly do. But feel free to go ahead and innocently ask what you said that was so wrong, I dare you. You say you are a Dom. I would venture to say that you are not a Dom, and not much of a mature man, because if you were, you would not be prattling on and on about why you cannot still have "fun in the lifestyle" with someone and yourself, who clearly needs therapy. As others have said, grow up, life is not a fantasy tale, it is tough and takes sacrifice and you cannot always have what you want, when you want it, with whom you want it.

TwiztdErotic -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 7:58:25 PM)
quote: I despair for your girl, I truly do. But feel free to go ahead and innocently ask what you said that was so wrong, I dare you. Has it occurred to you that neither her nor I seem to be as bothered by any of this as all of you are?

MadRabbit -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 8:02:00 PM)
Well, after reading this entire thread, it's my opinion that the White Knight here isn't interested in actually fixing his girl to make her better. He's interested in fixing his girl so he can continue to bust a nut in her ass without having to deal with her issues. Since...amazingly....you seem to have this tunnel vision for only fixing the problem with some kind of kinky shit. Of course, there is your amazing appifany about not needing to engage in M/S play anymore for the sake of your girls help.... ...which led you to the next line of thinking two whole seconds later of both of you being Doms and finding yourself a new play partner to irreresponsibly include in your own little word of dysfunction and instability. Since you seem to be more interested in finding some kind of loophole in this that will allow you to tie someone up and fuck em in the ass then...I don't know...actually "listening" and "processing" the mass amount of good advice that is being offered here, I, once again, am not going to join the crowd pushing water up the hill. Please, keep posting thought. I'm sure you will manage to out do yourself in your next thread, dropping my opinion of you even lower.

EvilGenie -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 8:03:56 PM)
~FR~ Yes, I read the entire 7am thread. As someone who has bipolar disorder (14 years episode free) and is a mental health professional I strongly recommend against your theory. Here is why. As has been said before, bipolar disorder is a matter of brain chemistry and while a major mental illness is a mood disorder not a personality/character flaw (meaning there is relatively little effective treatment as with a sociopath, psychopath etc). IF she DOES have bipolar disorder, to confine or restrain someone is the worst possible way to deal with an episode. I am not convinced that she does have bipolar disorder, but if she does and is having an episode when ''acting out'' confinement such as you describe can and usually does throw even more imbalance into the mix. Those with bipolar disorder are also highly likely to have some form of anxiety disorder going on as well and confining in this manner will only escalate the situation. This is why, in the mental health field, physical restraint is so frowned upon now. Anything that can release adrenaline during an episode will only escalate the episode. Should you restrain her in such situations, that is tantemount to throwing someone out of a wheelchair and down a flight of stairs. Learn what her problem is, then learn all that you can about it. Be caring and compassionate as these things are difficult at best to come to grips with. Be patient until you have a proper diagnosis and treatment plan and reassure her that everything will be allright, as it most certainly can be though will take some time getting there. In the end, it is more than worth it and rewarding to be a part of. I also do have to agree with much of what MadRabit has had to say and wonder if your selfishness will allow you to follow the sound advice of others and of the majority of my reply. Either drop your ego and your desires to assist her or cut her loose to find someone who will support her and what she needs. This isn't about you right now and the mark of a true Dominant is to realise that and to realise that when one partner is ill, mentally or otherwise, all bets are off until the ill partner is recovered or in recovery.

CutieMouse -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 8:06:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic quote: I despair for your girl, I truly do. But feel free to go ahead and innocently ask what you said that was so wrong, I dare you. Has it occurred to you that neither her nor I seem to be as bothered by any of this as all of you are? Has it occured to you that you and she are both so used to the drama of BP/BPD/your own selfish desires that you are unable to see the forest for the trees? Since you can't seem to comprehend why it's a bad idea to invite a third person into this little mental skirmish (in spite of several people explaining it... I notice you didn't bother responding to my points, earlier), I strongly suggest you do the ethical thing and inform anyone interested in "playing" with you that your girlfriend is an unmedicated bi-polar with borderline personality disorder, who has full blown panic/anxiety attacks if she doesn't get her way - before anyone negotiates playtime.

sexyred1 -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 8:07:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic quote: I despair for your girl, I truly do. But feel free to go ahead and innocently ask what you said that was so wrong, I dare you. Has it occurred to you that neither her nor I seem to be as bothered by any of this as all of you are? THEN WHY ARE YOU CREATING PAGES AND PAGES OF POSTS ABOUT THE SAME TOPIC IF YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT WE THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MadRabbit suggested that you try and outdo yourself in another thread so that our opinion of you could drop even lower than it is now. That would not be possible. I am done giving you any attention.

MadRabbit -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 8:09:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic quote: I despair for your girl, I truly do. But feel free to go ahead and innocently ask what you said that was so wrong, I dare you. Has it occurred to you that neither her nor I seem to be as bothered by any of this as all of you are? Are you related to akbarbarian by any any chance? Perhaps his brother?

Kalista07 -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 8:21:02 PM)
Okay.............Here's a side of me most of You have not seen yet.......i just got back home, hopped online as a way to wind down and am bombarded with all the dumb ass stuff on this thread.....Out of respect for people who posted on this site, and a few others who cautioned our 'responses' to You (SimplyMichael is an example) i was trying to be kind....i think my efforts have fallen on deaf ears, both on this post and apparently in my PM to You....So, here's the hard cold facts of reality buddy....You are nothing more than a selfish, self centered arrogant man who can not control himself let alone anyone else. This has become apparent to everyone who has even read a microscopic amount of this thread because it's become crystal clear to us all that You are not capable of making a thought without Your dick in it....... Seriously!!!!!!!!!! What is up with that shit!!!!!!!!!! Here's reality as i see it: You are going to continue to push this girl into 'playing' with You on one level or another..... She's going to go into therapy and be the obedient robot (aka. blow up doll) that You want her to and eventually she's going to let something slip about Your 'lifestyle' preference....9-10 months later, when You are sitting in Your jail cell being called 'bitch' by Bubba....Why don't You replay this thread in Your head then..................... Because no doubt when the police do a search of Your home and computer they'll pull this shit up............................................... eh, but it's okay.....because then at least You'll get to put Your cock in someone's ass........................................................................................................................ *To anyone else that this may have offended i apologize......i may come back later and delete this, but geez oh pete!!!!* Kali

Machts -> RE: Would/could this be effective? (11/30/2007 10:42:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic of course I'm freakin persistent. it's in my very nature to be persistent. As a Dom, I'm used to getting what I want. While puppy may not have always given me what I wanted so easily, she's always been willing to just let me take it from her. However, that turned out to be damaging and so it was stopped. Further investigation into the matter revealed a mental illness..okay, I can deal with that.. but I'm still inclined to make an attempt at getting what I want, too. At least give me some credit for being concerned about how it would affect her before going off and doing things to get what I wanted and NOT doing them if it turned out that it would be damaging. I'm a persistent bastard, yes. I'll give you that much. But, I'm not a TOTAL asshole. It's a fantasy you are having. Get over it already.

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