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.goingawayblues. - 11/29/2007 2:39:56 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		It’s mid morning for me here and I am feeling pretty tired after a horrible cold – and now Darcy is going abroad with work for four days(ish).
 
I feel like I am over reacting because we don’t live together (yet) anyway so I don’t get to wake up in his arms every morning or make coffee for him on a regular basis – but simply knowing he isn’t going to be in the same country sucks.  Yeah and I know some of you don’t even get to see your SO’s even once a month so I wouldn’t blame y’all for going ‘what the hell does she know about separation’?
 
So I am filling my time working on the website and artwork and I am going to take a walk up to the local castle in a bit and take some photographs – hopefully I will get some good shots – the sun is pretty cool this morning.
 
I do have a birthday to arrange and Christmas is coming so there are still gifts to buy and days to arrange, but even though I am busying myself with tasks and improving my cooking skills (I sucked at Yorkshire pudding the other weekend so I need to make BIG improvements) – I still miss Him – and he hasn’t even left the country as yet!  So even when you spend your time improving yourself and keeping your life filled and your days busy when your master/mistress/daddy/insertwhateverhere isn’t around – it doesn’t always make it easier - but it does keep your mind active hey.
But at least I can still look back in four days and not kick myself for wasting any precious time and failing him – or myself.
 
Does anyone else do this? And what exactly do you do when they aren’t around?
Sometimes, I think its all very well being supportive when people post that they are going to be alone or that they have LDRs – but sometimes when your in that position, you just want to hear that Yeah - it does suck - go eat chocolate.  That to me is being supportive.
 
Thanks for letting me rant a bit.
the.dark.

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RE: .goingawayblues. - 11/29/2007 4:09:09 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Yeah, that does suck... go eat chocolate  *g*

I keep busy for the most part because that is just how my life is structured, but we also spend quite a bit of time hanging out together too.

Not sure if this will help, but I am so busy packing and getting ready to move in about 12 days that I don't have much time to think about not being with him.  Today though I am getting Lasik on my eyes, so I can't read, watch TV, go on the computer, lift anything heavy...  It might not be bad for the first few hours, but after a bit the inactivity will drive me nuts.

Enjoy your days as best as you can and eat lots of chocolate  *g*

Knight's Kyra


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"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: .goingawayblues. - 11/29/2007 4:52:30 AM   
pinksugarsub


Posts: 1224
Status: offline 		.dark., i am sorry for the angst and pain.  Although you seem well able to cope with it, i wish it were better for you.  Here's hoping you can live with Him soon.
 
pinksugarsub

< Message edited by pinksugarsub -- 11/29/2007 4:53:05 AM >

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RE: .goingawayblues. - 11/29/2007 6:06:38 AM   
Teles


Posts: 44
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		My s/o is actually deployed (for the second time).  I won't see him for another six months.  Um...  I write him letters.  I try to concentrate on things I can do that will surprise him when he sees me.  This could be like, in your case...  You could learn something new, make some sort of keepable food that he would love, surprise him with something.  Make art, write.  Dance to music in your room.  Dance to sexy music and then show him later.  If I feel particularly lonely (and we can assume that over deployments there are times when I am INTENSELY lonely) I try to find ways to focus my energy towards him in positive ways.  Then it's almost like he's there.  Like, he likes to run, and I hate running, so I've started running so I'll be kind of good at it when he gets back and we can run together.  That kind of stuff.  But little things, like a couple of the things I mentioned, you could do, too.  Also, read!  Reading always carries you away from real life.

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RE: .goingawayblues. - 11/29/2007 8:10:22 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		Sending you hugs and a box of lindor chocolates, virtually im afraid.
Yeah it sux for many of us, in many different ways, but you have the right idea on keeping busy, improving whats going on around you is a win win situation.
We are LDR and speak most days, but on the days I know hes not gonna be computer able,  I tend to find pics, websites he would like...or things Ive found that amuse me. I tend to surf a lot while working, so I come across many different things  that pique my interest, so I share.
Good luck for the next few days

Kyra, I wish you well with the laser surgery, let us know how it goes and best of luck with the move, an exciting stressful time

Lucy

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RE: .goingawayblues. - 11/29/2007 9:37:26 AM   
DesFIP


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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		He's working several hour drive away. Been like this from mid October. I guess he makes it up for a weekend every two weeks. Last fall was the same schedule.

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RE: .goingawayblues. - 11/29/2007 10:05:32 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Thank you Kyra - I knew I could rely on you for support!
Best thoughts and karma for the surgery - the results will be cool and worth the having to rest!
 
I am so excited for you and admit to living vicariously through your move right now!  It must be such a headache, yet amazing at the same time.  Just think - next year is your year and always!
 
Let us know how the Lasik goes please.  Be thinking of you.
 
love
the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 11/29/2007 10:06:01 AM >

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: .goingawayblues. - 11/29/2007 10:32:43 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Pinkie - thank you for the thoughts - they mean a lot.
 
Hello Teles -  see I always feel silly missing Darcy so intently when I know there are those like yourself that have a far more difficult time - particularly when SOs are serving their country.  I agree that doing something I dislike that I know he likes is a very good reminder for me too.
 
Lucy - virtual or not - lindor rock!
Finding cool stuff for him is great too - I did find a gig that I so want to go to and I know he will love to attend, so thats all cool for his return!
 
Celeste - I thrive on consistancy - so when scheduals alter it throws me out. I hope it all settles back to a good routine for you - ach - and can the mods not sought out your profile, it must be really frustrating for you.
 
As an update - I did get the call he landed safely, so that makes me feel so much more settled.  Right now, I am awaiting the toad-in-the-hole to come out the oven and hoping the pudding part rises, fingers crossed!
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: .goingawayblues. - 11/29/2007 8:12:05 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		Hello,
i just wanted to let You know that, yes, in fact it does suck....In fact, in my opinion it sucks ass.....He and i live 3 hours apart and this is not my weekend to get to spend with Him. We (okay, He) decided recently that due to my financial stress it would be best if i only came up there every other weekend...Despite the fact that i know He's right, it still sucks ass.....
i clean, re arranger furniture, eat something yummy, bake, write to Him, shop online for Him (i don't usually buy anything, but it never hurts to have good ideas in mind)...................
.................i'm sure i'm not telling You anything You don't already do.....Just wanted to let You know You are not alone, and i can relate.
Kali

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RE: .goingawayblues. - 11/29/2007 9:45:04 PM   
EvilGenie


Posts: 1323
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Morocco and Maine occasionally
Status: offline 		Well I was just married to mine in June 2007, in Morocco where I used to live as well. He won't be coming to the US but instead moving to Spain for 1-2 years. We were together 5.5 weeks again at the wedding time and now apart 5.5 months. I will not be joining him in Spain until March as he isn't going himself until the very end of January. I came back from the wedding pregnant and miscarried at 10 weeks. I do not have a good relationship with my mother and have lived outside of the US for so long, been back such a short time and am leaving again that I have no friends outside of work.

He is a teacher and 3 weeks ago was sent to teach in a school in the mountains with no electricity, no cell phone network. I used to gripe about only having 5 nights per week to talk to him. That has now been reduced to one and how grateful I would be for those 5 nights to gripe about again.

It will have been 9-10 months in total before seeing him again after our marriage. I am disabled and work which is not easy and it took me all of my life to find someone like him who wasn't going to abuse me. While we were together 5.5 weeks this time, we had been married only 11 days when I boarded a plane. We and the family knew I was pregnant.

Yeah, it does suck and some would do well to consider themselves lucky. Even I do for him but not for this.

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RE: .goingawayblues. - 11/29/2007 10:18:32 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I dunno, I tend to either take the opportunity to clean and do errands that were kept waiting cuz we had stuff to do "together" or just laze about and take advantage of some of the few things that I enjoy and he doesn't that I don't do much when we're together.

I don't really think about improving or making the best of my time- perhaps because there's not really much of it to begin with in that sense.  I found in my LDRs the more that I focused on time apart being "different" than time together, the harder it was to get through.  The more I kept it just normal and relaxed, the easier the transitions were.

It always sucks though, so whatever works for you.

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RE: .goingawayblues. - 11/30/2007 2:30:13 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		My Pleasure, dark.

Surgery was awesome.  I was essentially legally blind without correction before the surgery and as soon as they took me out of the chair, I could read the clock on the wall.  The actually procedure took less than 5 minutes per eye; it was only the prep work that made it last about 30 minutes.  This morning my eyes feel great and I can see *g*

I honestly don't think I could do all this time apart without a goal to end it.  Now the end is coming so much sooner than we anticipated.  All the paperwork came in yesterday and I plan to be on the road by December 10th.  There were times during the last few years that I was just miserable and didn't know how I was going to make it.  Each time we seperated the time apart became easier for me.  The more certainty and comfort I gained in the relationship the easier it was to deal with no face to face time. 

I have found that exercise works great for me to provide a little pick me up... it is better than chocolate for me  *g*

Hope you enjoy your weekend.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: .goingawayblues. - 11/30/2007 3:47:27 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Hi Kali
 
Thanks for the support.  It good to hear other people in the same place as we/I am.  I always find it really 'easier' when I get continuous weekends with him, when it is every other or three it sucks - so big hugs for you.
 
The good news is the yorkshire pudding I baked did rise nicely - yay me!
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: .goingawayblues. - 11/30/2007 3:56:42 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I dunno, I tend to either take the opportunity to clean and do errands that were kept waiting cuz we had stuff to do "together" or just laze about and take advantage of some of the few things that I enjoy and he doesn't that I don't do much when we're together.

I don't really think about improving or making the best of my time- perhaps because there's not really much of it to begin with in that sense.  I found in my LDRs the more that I focused on time apart being "different" than time together, the harder it was to get through.  The more I kept it just normal and relaxed, the easier the transitions were.

It always sucks though, so whatever works for you.


Hey Em
 
Thing with the chores that don't get done when he is around is that I already do them during the week as he isn;t around - so come the weekend I am usually well organised as I don't like stuffing up any weekend with chores or 'things to do', not unless it's fun things to do.
Although this weekend it's spare room sort out time.  I have a pile of boxes full of sketches and some paintings I have to wrap up and sort through so that's going to keep me busy.  Plus Demon and I are doing the whole LP sort out - I don't want to lose the Marillion!

I agree that keeping it normal does help.  I tend to feel worse right at the beginning and then when I know he is travelling back.  I guess that's just me worrying that his journey is going ok.
 
the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 11/30/2007 3:58:26 AM >

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: .goingawayblues. - 11/30/2007 4:06:24 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Kyra
 
I am so glad the surgery rocked for you!

quote:

Each time we seperated the time apart became easier for me.  The more certainty and comfort I gained in the relationship the easier it was to deal with no face to face time. 


It was an important thing you mentioned hey.  I find it becomes easier too - not better, just a little bit easier to 'cope'.
As for exercise, I will stick with the chocolate - comfort food! 
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: .goingawayblues. - 11/30/2007 8:45:49 AM   
EvilGenie


Posts: 1323
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Morocco and Maine occasionally
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGenie

Well I was just married to mine in June 2007, in Morocco where I used to live as well. He won't be coming to the US but instead moving to Spain for 1-2 years. We were together 5.5 weeks again at the wedding time and now apart 5.5 months. I will not be joining him in Spain until March as he isn't going himself until the very end of January. I came back from the wedding pregnant and miscarried at 10 weeks. I do not have a good relationship with my mother and have lived outside of the US for so long, been back such a short time and am leaving again that I have no friends outside of work.

He is a teacher and 3 weeks ago was sent to teach in a school in the mountains with no electricity, no cell phone network. I used to gripe about only having 5 nights per week to talk to him. That has now been reduced to one and how grateful I would be for those 5 nights to gripe about again.

It will have been 9-10 months in total before seeing him again after our marriage. I am disabled and work which is not easy and it took me all of my life to find someone like him who wasn't going to abuse me. While we were together 5.5 weeks this time, we had been married only 11 days when I boarded a plane. We and the family knew I was pregnant.

Yeah, it does suck and some would do well to consider themselves lucky. Even I do for him but not for this, meaning the seperation. It is extremely lonely and can be very painful. I am okay most of the time but when I have a day that the tears flow I just have to allow them as they get a lot 'out.' Be happy you have him as I am for mine and keep on keeping on, it's all you can do. I know that mine becomes very unhappy when he hears my sadness and feels guilty. This isn't anyone's fault, it is simply life. So we talk once a week, make the best of it and know it will end one day hopefully sooner rather than later.

I know too well how you feel.


Qutoed to edit, adding, this ''meaning the seperation'' and a few more thoughts.

Be Well,

EG

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RE: .goingawayblues. - 11/30/2007 8:50:55 AM   
EvilGenie


Posts: 1323
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Morocco and Maine occasionally
Status: offline 		~FR~

Hey I just read this on the quote of the day thread and think I will try to at least remember it if I am unable to actually do it.
''Grab life by the horns, even when it sucks!''

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RE: .goingawayblues. - 11/30/2007 10:03:35 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		This is Darcy

Being away from .the.dark. does suck, and badly. I'm stuck in a warehouse just south of Eindhoven in Holland and we're into what we call 'dead time', which is waiting for one truck coming in from Amsterdam so that orders can then be filled to ship out to various other destinations.

I'm lucky in that while I miss .dark. terribly, I find it easy to occupy my mind with thoughts like 'at this time of the day next week we'll all be together at my house'.

Just goes to show that us big, bad, Dom-types can miss our Subs too.

(love you my.girl. x)


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RE: .goingawayblues. - 11/30/2007 12:19:10 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline

the.dark.

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RE: .goingawayblues. - 11/30/2007 1:22:44 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		Darcy and the dark,
i just need to tell You both, that i don't know if it's just because i'm insane, too much time alone on my hands, or what....But Your posts to each other made me cry.......
i hope You are both together again very soon,
Kali

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