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When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 4:30:56 AM   
kails


Posts: 5
Joined: 11/7/2007
Status: offline 		It was pointed out to me recently that I dont flinch when im being cropped. (Nor do i when im being paddle, flogged, caned or whipped unless u really really hurt me)

lol ... I didnt know i was supposed to flinch. Ive always enjoyed the pain flowing thru my body and releasing the endorphins. Flinching just ruins it.

But, now that I think about it, its been commented on before. And Dom's dont seem to like me not flinching.

?????





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RE: When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 4:44:59 AM   
Jayxkes


Posts: 138
Joined: 7/8/2004
Status: offline 		Is that  just that you don't flinch, or don't react?

It can be quite hard to play with someone who doesn't react to what's being done.

Kes doesn't flinch,  but she most definately reacts!  Tis lovely to watch her

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RE: When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 4:49:36 AM   
YourProperty2Use


Posts: 9
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		i got told the same thing.  i never flinched either and the Domme kept asking was everything ok.  Well yes but like jayxkes mentions not flinching is fine but there should be some reaction otherwise it would be like playing with a statue i imagine. 

i always thought until recently that if i didnt react it would make me a better slave but i thought about it alot and realised that this isnt the case.  Obviously you dont want to fake a flinch but at the same time the Domme enjoys watching you squirm and react - thats what They want to see.  A sub helpless and completly in Their control.

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RE: When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 4:50:20 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		i wouldnt say i flinch...but i DO react.  Daddy loves it...

kitten, smiling at the memory

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RE: When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 5:07:59 AM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline 		it is all about the Dom's ego {not in a bad way}... if you don't react, then you are taking away their power over you...  my former Dom use to get on my case about how i didn't show emotion...

< Message edited by kittensmailbox -- 11/29/2007 5:09:52 AM >

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RE: When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 5:42:00 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Hmmmm... sometimes I flinch and sometimes I don't... it depends on my headspace. He has never made it an issue one way or another. Perhaps it turns your man on when you flinch?

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RE: When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 6:13:33 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		i agree with the others that perhaps they mean you don't react...and i too used to hear that a lot...and i had to train myself to react to showing how good it felt to recieve the sensations...i found it carried over into sex too...(came from years of having to quietly hide that i was masturbating...lol) but it was a process...and it took a good long time with a patient Dominant for me....


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RE: When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 6:22:05 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kails

lol ... I didnt know i was supposed to flinch. Ive always enjoyed the pain flowing thru my body and releasing the endorphins. Flinching just ruins it.


i don't flinch nor do i react when spanked or cropped until afterwards. 

buns of steel i suppose - LOL




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RE: When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 6:49:09 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

i agree with the others that perhaps they mean you don't react...and i too used to hear that a lot...and i had to train myself to react to showing how good it felt to recieve the sensations...i found it carried over into sex too...(came from years of having to quietly hide that i was masturbating...lol) but it was a process...and it took a good long time with a patient Dominant for me....



I am thinking along the lines with this.

I do not flinch and my reaction is going to be minimal until it has gone on long enough or the severity has picked up. Every time I have been with someone new it has freaked them out, made them nervous or they had trouble getting into it. So I can only imagine the difficulty and/or lack of enjoyment if it is throughout an entire event.


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RE: When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 6:50:23 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kails

It was pointed out to me recently that I dont flinch when im being cropped. (Nor do i when im being paddle, flogged, caned or whipped unless u really really hurt me)

lol ... I didnt know i was supposed to flinch. Ive always enjoyed the pain flowing thru my body and releasing the endorphins. Flinching just ruins it.

But, now that I think about it, its been commented on before. And Dom's dont seem to like me not flinching.

?????







Geeze, I would think that if a person flinched, it was because they were afraid of what was coming...I guess they want you afraid?

Sounds silly to me.

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RE: When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 7:04:38 AM   
Vanatru


Posts: 300
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline 		since pain tolerance is an individual matter, and can be different in tolerance each time one plays, it's important to understand what they can take, if you've gone too far, or even if you are going in the right direction. Communicating this in some manner is required, and doesn't necessarily mean stroking the guy's ego. Though I LIKE all the moaning, cries, and cussing when I'm doing it right, I'm studying reactions to make sure I'm on the right track. I definitely wouldn't appreciate finding out the reactions were faked cause of worrying about my ego.

Edit: I DO understand that sometimes being on the receiving end, a person can be so focused on the sensations that they quiet down, and some people become more quiet the better the endorphin rush is. In those times, checking with the person is sometimes necessary as well. Though I tend to be pretty tuned in to where the person is at then as well. *grin*

< Message edited by Vanatru -- 11/29/2007 7:10:01 AM >

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RE: When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 7:54:03 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Funny thing about this.  I'm rather the opposite.  If My boy sees Me reach out to make a move toward him, and he flinches, I raise My brow and specifically ask him if he flinched.  If he says yes, he knows he's getting whatever I intended, plus a little extra as playful punishment.  My boy knows that he is expected to submit.  That means he doesn't get the option of pulling back. 
 
Flinching to Me is something much different than being reactionary.  Flinching is something that one does before.  Reactionary is what happens afterwards.

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RE: When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 8:27:22 AM   
mefisto69


Posts: 370
Joined: 1/19/2007
Status: offline 		the answer is : stand like a statue but moan like a porn star !

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RE: When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 9:13:30 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Funny thing about this.  I'm rather the opposite.  If My boy sees Me reach out to make a move toward him, and he flinches, I raise My brow and specifically ask him if he flinched.  If he says yes, he knows he's getting whatever I intended, plus a little extra as playful punishment.  My boy knows that he is expected to submit.  That means he doesn't get the option of pulling back. 
 
Flinching to Me is something much different than being reactionary.  Flinching is something that one does before.  Reactionary is what happens afterwards.


So if there's a wasp zooming in on you, you won't try to avoid it? You'll just moan about the sting afterwards?

Flinching is an autonomic response to avoiding pain. The first time you stumble into nettles you won't flinch. The next time you look down and see them you will.

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RE: When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 9:14:43 AM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mefisto69
the answer is : stand like a statue but moan like a porn star !

Ha ha ha ha ha - yep. Chairman loves it. i was taught that flinching is pulling away so i hold still as much as possible (til i can't *grin*). But i most definitely react.

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slave to love - - Chairman's maia

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RE: When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 9:18:33 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I think I am going to interpret flinching as "reacting", and say that I do like there to me reaction of some appropriate type.  Personally, I love stoicism, but I do like to know that the person I am playing with is alive and conscious to what I am doing.  Play should be interactive, IMO.  Otherwise, why not just flog the sofa cushions, and get the dusting done at the same time?

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RE: When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 10:54:58 AM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		i've found that if i am not bound in some way, i flinch. If however i am bound then i don't flinch at all.

Either way i react but i react in a much more positive way, on a few different levels, when i am bound.


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RE: When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 1:19:50 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Funny thing about this.  I'm rather the opposite.  If My boy sees Me reach out to make a move toward him, and he flinches, I raise My brow and specifically ask him if he flinched.  If he says yes, he knows he's getting whatever I intended, plus a little extra as playful punishment.  My boy knows that he is expected to submit.  That means he doesn't get the option of pulling back. 
 
Flinching to Me is something much different than being reactionary.  Flinching is something that one does before.  Reactionary is what happens afterwards.


So if there's a wasp zooming in on you, you won't try to avoid it? You'll just moan about the sting afterwards?

Flinching is an autonomic response to avoiding pain. The first time you stumble into nettles you won't flinch. The next time you look down and see them you will.


There's a difference.  My boy didn't agree to submit to a wasp, or to stubbing his toe, or any others of hundreds of situations that are unintentional pain. 
 
Intentional pain, is something he rather enjoys, and generally doesn't flinch when he's about to receive it.  That is pain that I control, and he's well aware of it.  Truthfully, when I wrote the response, it was more focused on tickle torture, which is when he will flinch.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 2:16:37 PM   
phedre81


Posts: 56
Joined: 10/29/2007
Status: offline 		I'm also not allowed to flinch.  Particularly if I'm being punished--it is usually viewed as me trying to avoid the pain, even just a little instead of submitting to whatever she wants me to feel. 

But react? Yeah, I do a lot of that. ;)

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RE: When a sub doesn't flinch.... - 11/29/2007 2:23:55 PM   
MystressDream


Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kails

It was pointed out to me recently that I dont flinch when im being cropped. (Nor do i when im being paddle, flogged, caned or whipped unless u really really hurt me)

lol ... I didnt know i was supposed to flinch. Ive always enjoyed the pain flowing thru my body and releasing the endorphins. Flinching just ruins it.

But, now that I think about it, its been commented on before. And Dom's dont seem to like me not flinching.

?????








I don't like to see flinching, as some have already posted, but.... mmmm... the moans are wonderful!!  I have occasionally pushed a string of cussing from a sub... which was not only funny, but gave me the opportunity to express my dislike of cussing and punish them further for doing it.  <grin>  Oh, what fun it can be.......
 
But, I get bored quickly with a sub who doesn't respond or react at all.

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