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RE: seeking a mentor - 12/2/2007 9:43:55 AM

blngsmaster

Posts: 10
Joined: 7/1/2005
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the first rule for her, on a list of about 10 easy ones, was no other Doms and no overt sexual conversations or relationships unless they were initiated by Me. She had told Me
that that indicated to her I was one of the "dangerous Doms" that try and keep her
from learning.....the opposite is true....I actively encouraged her to learn.
I am sorry that alot of what Ive said on here makes Me sound like a whiny bitch, and
displaying behavior not at all becoming of a Dom. I have already had, and am sure I will
continue to get, offers from subs. I think My wisest course of action is to tell her that I will ALLOW her to be ONE of My subs, while i learn. If shes so interested in having more than one Dom, I'll just be one of them.....If she is disagreable to that scenario, well then....her loss.

(in reply to LittleWench)

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RE: seeking a mentor - 12/2/2007 10:11:56 AM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

Dude, ( said in a nice way ) do not let this little person rock your boat. Your head is rooted in a good place. I have had experience with some very similar girls. I understand how much you care for her. I can relate to your eagerness to be the Dom that she wants. DON'T do it!! Being new is not a crime....being unwilling to grow, learn and expands your horizons and knowledge should be illegal, lol. I *urge* you read everything you can about BDSM related things. Talk with as many people as you can, Watch everybody play. Find things that interest YOU and master those things as best you can. Become the Dominat man that YOU want to be. You will be someday that she is soooo not worthy of you. Keep her as a friend. Hold no animosity against her. But remove her from your list of "I wish she liked me"s. She will try to break your spirit and self worth if you let her. RUN....RUN LIKE THE WIND!!

If there is anything I can do or say to help you on your journey , please ask. There is no shame is being ignorant or unlearned, but there is a shame in staying that way.

Sincerely.....All the best to you,

Old Bastard

(in reply to blngsmaster)

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Post #: 22

RE: seeking a mentor - 12/3/2007 12:25:29 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Stay away from the "mentor" business, and if she rejects you because of your lack of experience, tell her to take a hike and find someone else. Really, the "mentor" is only going to get in her pants, enjoy himself for a while, and wander off after he's wrecked whatever relationship you have with her. A sub should want you for YOU.

Bingo!

The submissive sounds to me like she is very much a "do-me" sub and since most dominants aren't, of course they all get along! You are better off alone than hooking up with this chick. I know she seems like the only one around but she isn't and even if she was, be prepared to spend your time "controlling" her in the exact way she tells you to.

I would rather jack off with sandpaper...

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

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RE: seeking a mentor - 12/3/2007 12:36:25 AM

SimplyMichael

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Joined: 1/7/2007
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.

< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 12/3/2007 12:37:20 AM >

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RE: seeking a mentor - 12/11/2007 4:51:52 PM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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Lord,

As I read it he is seeking a mentor for himself, not the /s

CP

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Post #: 25

RE: seeking a mentor - 12/11/2007 9:08:30 PM

liminalRapture

Posts: 181
Joined: 9/6/2007
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I felt like one man I was with didn't have enough experience to dominate me, but it wasn't the lack of ritual or experience as much as the inability to dominate me. He'd make a suggestion, I'd smile or laugh and he'd say "oh, no, that's OK." I yearned for him to grab my hair and say "do this." He said something at one point and I gave him a look that to a vanilla guy would have said "I'd like to see you try it" but to an experienced dominate would have read as a challenge: "I'd like to see you. Try it!"

To me the rituals are nothing compared to the look in his eyes, the way he trusts that he has a right to me, and knows the difference between "I don't know if this is a good idea <looks down with a slight blush and giggles>" versus "stop--slow down. Stop." Until a man can deal with a giggle, and a blush and an "I don't think so" he needs more experience. One he has those, much of the rest is just icing.

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"Ring the bells that can still ring. Forget your perfect offering. There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." Leonard Cohen.

(in reply to LittleWench)

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Post #: 26

RE: seeking a mentor - 12/11/2007 11:51:03 PM

heartcream

Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
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bingsmaster, You do not sound like a whiney bitch at all. You sound like a man who is man enough to ask for advice where you feel somewhat uncertain, looking for some wisdom, suggestions from folks with some experience. A whiney bitch would take a completely different approach. I hope you find a really great partner, someone who appreciates you, and connects with you in a way that you feel like they 'get' you. I dont know who it is you are talking about. I dont want to be judgmental either, but based on what I have read here, she comes off as a bit screwy and not really on your level of consciousness in my opinion.

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RE: seeking a mentor - 12/11/2007 11:52:02 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
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I don't think it's a good idea either way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Lord,

As I read it he is seeking a mentor for himself, not the /s

CP

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Post #: 28

RE: seeking a mentor - 12/12/2007 2:50:09 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

Asking a good friend for help, is a good thing to do, no matter how you call it. Wwe're all inventing the same wheel all over again. And two know more then one. So it's good to vent and seek advice, and hear someone else their opinions.

I would like to add, that she likes You for a reason, and that discussing issues, longings, likings, is all ok, but she can't expect you to be a clone of her former Owner. she has to like You because of You being You.

~*if a submissive has a wishlist, role it up and beat em with it *~

I wish you enough !

GoddezzT`

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~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

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Post #: 29