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What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/1/2007 11:34:10 AM

shytg

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline

My apologies first of all if this has been asked ad nauseum before. I did try to search several times, and it was probably my less-than-sterling use of the search function here, but nothing came up. I'm curious...

As a Domme/Domina/Mistress/insert favored term here, what is it about someone that makes you... well, take notice of them? What is it about a submissive that initially makes you curious or interested enough to, well... not just talk to them (I have to think that people out there do have polite conversations with each other), but more along the lines of begin to think about that particular sub as someone that intrigued you in a D/s sense.

I realize that there is probably a different answer to this question for every person out there... but I was wondering if there was some sort of commonality.

Thanks,

shy

Post #: 1

RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/1/2007 12:41:25 PM

MiladyElaine

Posts: 1086
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline

Nope, I don't think there is a commonality. you'll just have to read the profiles and find out who suits you best.

_____________________________

A crazy quilt is warm but oddly put together.

Milady

(in reply to shytg)

Post #: 2

RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/1/2007 12:58:37 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I think that beyond all the labels, most of us look for a good person, a person who has enough similarities to be compatible and a touch of differences to be interesting.

Each person, each household, then will have requirements, a "must have" for anyone to be interesting let alone go beyond a first meeting.

Over all I think getting an education in BDSM on your own and then being able to talk honestly about what you want is a huge help. For example, learning what you consider to be the difference between bottom, sub, masochist or slave will help you then find a better match because you'll know if you are looking for a top, dom, sadist or owner. Being able to explain your definition of words or terms you use is a huge plus too because there is no "big book of terms" out there for BDSM.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to shytg)

Post #: 3

RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/1/2007 1:02:42 PM

shytg

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Being able to explain your definition of words or terms you use is a huge plus too because there is no "big book of terms" out there for BDSM.

I'm seeing a niche market/opportunity here....

Seriously, thank you all for responding.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 4

RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/1/2007 4:29:59 PM

ShaktiSama

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

When someone makes it very clear that he or she wants my attention, they will always get it at least briefly. I find the "please notice me" vibe very endearing, no matter how it is expressed. :)

The real test is how far someone can go with that window of opportunity.

(in reply to shytg)

Post #: 5

RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/1/2007 7:40:14 PM

mistressaries

Posts: 22
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline

For me, at least on this and other site when I'm looking at profiles I am attracted to a nicely writen profile. Someone who is capable of explaining what they are looking for as well as what they like both in the kink world and in vanilla. It doesn't have to be extensive but it is nice to see they have a little of everything. I enjoy being able to have a good conversation about different things. Other than that I think there must be some attraction physically but a fun and interesting personality is first and formost for me. OK...that's my nickles worth
MissA

(in reply to ShaktiSama)

Post #: 6

RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/1/2007 7:57:43 PM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

It's easier to say what I don't look for. One of my major peeves is getting an email from a sub with a laundry list of sexual fantasies he wants to try.

Quite frankly, I don't care and if that is all he thinks he has to offer, or he thinks that I should be happy, happy, joy, joy to read it, no thanks.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to mistressaries)

Post #: 7

RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/1/2007 8:25:27 PM

Ecossaise

Posts: 34
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

It's easier to say what I don't look for. One of my major peeves is getting an email from a sub with a laundry list of sexual fantasies he wants to try.

It is comforting to know I am not the only person who gets these!

I don't look for any particular qualities as such, more a willingness to learn. My own girl came to me because she was attracted by the fiction and poetry which I wrote (a small minority of which had relevance to this lifestyle), so she already knew a little about me.

I am impressed when I meet a submissive who is polite and respectful, or empathic and caring, but in a subtle and natural way - I don't need someone who doesn't belong to me to grovel or fuss.

_____________________________

M

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 8

RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/3/2007 9:06:25 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

I look for a click, and good skilled subs, who are well mannerd. I don't go round in the adds, since that doesn't seem to work. I've opend My own chatroom, and meet people. There are all sorts out there, and I screen them on being sane, and boy do I meet loads of sicko's on this server. So I screen on that, and where they are at, I don't seek a boy in Australia, since I'm in Europe.

Which intrigues Me, are well mannered subs, who knows how to be an exception to a rule. There are so many out there, who think they r submissive, and a good talk, and standard procedure, will give Me enough info if s/he is worth of My time.

Then ofcourse Real Life meeting will finish it , when nothing happends when Wwe meet, then nothing will ever happen. And yes I'm very picky, I only want the best.

I hope you've learned something from how different Dominants work.

Warm Greetings

GoddezzT`

< Message edited by GoddessTeaze -- 12/3/2007 9:09:51 AM >

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to Ecossaise)

Post #: 9

RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/3/2007 9:35:02 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

For Me, it always comes down to a person standing out from the rest, in whatever fashion applies. In other words, if you want to be noticed, then become noticable. That can take on a lot of forms. Personally, I don't want someone who is just like everyone else. I want that one person, who has that one quality, that stands over and above the others. That could be your sense of humor, or your smile, or countless other things. Perhaps, it's just that quality of being yourself, which is like no one else.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 10

RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/3/2007 4:19:48 PM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

For me personally, I look for someone who would fit into my lifestyle and who enjoys the same things I enjoy, specifically fantasy RPG gaming, larping, Ren Faires, SCA, medieval re-enactment, etc. Intelligence is paramount, as is emotional stability, maturity, honesty and generally having his shit together. He should be generally happy and fun to be with rather than depressed, angsty, bitter, angry, bad tempered, etc. Emotional and mental health is important, as is taking responsibility for his own life choices and the consequences thereof. He doesn't need to be rich but he does need to be a responsible, self supporting adult paying his own bills and driving his own vehicle. And he needs to be sincerely interested in friendship with me as the basis for any other relationship.

(in reply to shytg)

Post #: 11

RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/3/2007 5:45:07 PM

MistressDoMe

Posts: 295
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

I look for someone who actually is submissive, and not a do me.

(in reply to shytg)

Post #: 12

RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/3/2007 5:52:18 PM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

i was going to suggest that Your name is looking for do me's..

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

(in reply to MistressDoMe)

Post #: 13

RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/3/2007 5:54:12 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shytg

My apologies first of all if this has been asked ad nauseum before. I did try to search several times, and it was probably my less-than-sterling use of the search function here, but nothing came up. I'm curious...

As a Domme/Domina/Mistress/insert favored term here, what is it about someone that makes you... well, take notice of them? What is it about a submissive that initially makes you curious or interested enough to, well... not just talk to them (I have to think that people out there do have polite conversations with each other), but more along the lines of begin to think about that particular sub as someone that intrigued you in a D/s sense.

I realize that there is probably a different answer to this question for every person out there... but I was wondering if there was some sort of commonality.

Thanks,

shy

None of what a(n American) Domme wants means shit....allow me to 'splain....

I just got an email from a 23 year old woman....she was fiiiiine....ultra fine....(I'm 49)....she's from Romania (but she's eager to travel...she mentioned something about a "small stipend"....I don't think it'll be all that much), anyway...as I mentioned...she was fine....she told me (and I believe her) that all she wants is a "nice American man to take care of her" (who wouldn't want that?)....

Now...if THAT isn't amazing enough....I got a VERY nice email on my Yahoo 360 account today from a 33 year old Bulgarian woman....very professional, wants a nice executive position in the US of A (which I, naturally could provide) and she said "I'd lyke a chence to be yor wif...."....okay, so she has some grammar and spelling issues....there's a language barrier....come on....

Anyway....

All you subs that think it can't happen....

I'm here to tell you it can.

(I'm on my way to Valhalla).

< Message edited by Griswold -- 12/3/2007 5:55:42 PM >

(in reply to shytg)

Post #: 14

RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/3/2007 6:03:46 PM

MistressDoMe

Posts: 295
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petpete

i was going to suggest that Your name is looking for do me's..

Tis a joke, and many actually "get it".
: )

(in reply to petpete)

Post #: 15

RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/3/2007 6:20:27 PM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

i have an extreme fetish for Ladies with a good sense of humor as You have!! Merry Xmas..

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

(in reply to MistressDoMe)

Post #: 16

RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/3/2007 6:22:06 PM

BlackSakura

Posts: 131
Joined: 7/23/2006
Status: offline

For me, it’s all about compatibility. Very simple. ^_^

_____________________________

Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away, and you have their shoes!

(in reply to MistressDoMe)

Post #: 17

RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/3/2007 6:22:54 PM

MistressDoMe

Posts: 295
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

I have a wicked sense of humor, Merry Xmas to you also.

(in reply to petpete)

Post #: 18

RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/3/2007 6:35:15 PM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

Now thats even spicier!! Lucky the slaves You will be owing.. Please add me as Your friend anytime.. Our community needs more of people with good sense of humor.. There are newbies who come out everyday and while in fantasy they may need to feel the full effect of BDSM in reality they need to start with a way that they need to feel more relaxed.. Let the tension exist only within the dungeons and not the forums.. Cheers and a especially to You.

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

(in reply to MistressDoMe)

Post #: 19

RE: What does a Domme look for in a submissive? - 12/3/2007 6:46:54 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shytg

As a Domme/Domina/Mistress/insert favored term here, what is it about someone that makes you... well, take notice of them? What is it about a submissive that initially makes you curious or interested enough to, well... not just talk to them (I have to think that people out there do have polite conversations with each other), but more along the lines of begin to think about that particular sub as someone that intrigued you in a D/s sense.

A nice disposition is a good start.

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e

(in reply to shytg)

Post #: 20

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