RE: No Use of Title? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive



Message

hejira92 -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/2/2007 4:11:00 PM)

I usually call Him "Sir". It does get interesting in public when I need His attention for some reason. I do refer to Him to others by His name, but it falls unnaturally from my lips when addressing Him.
 
When He took me to meet His mother this summer, He had me practising for weeks so I would call Him by name and not "Sir". I was so nervous I would mess up that I didn't call Him by name at all.
 
I try to avoid "Sir" in front of my um's, but they all have heard it by now. I'm afraid the 17 yr old has caught on- he threw the word "slave" around a few weeks ago, But he's mature and believes that whatever floats your boat is cool. (The fact that he likes Master and is glad to see me happy helps, too.)
 
I sometimes slip in vanilla moments and call Him "honey" and He has given me permission on occasion to use "baby"- He thinks it's hot. [:)]



exogenous -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/2/2007 4:52:01 PM)

When I was owned, I used both “Sir” and his given name during our scenes. I could never get with using the term “Master”, though. He really didn’t care what I called him, no matter what the situation or circumstance.
 
In day-to-day life, I used his given name or Sweetheart or Baby, and vice versa. We were not into formalities. Our places were always known and understood, and we did not feel the need to use honorifics to emphasize that. I liked using his given name and I know he liked hearing it; same went for me, as well. It was just so much more personal and intimate.



girlygurl -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/2/2007 5:59:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

From what I can tell, in most lifestyle relationships, the submissive generally refers to his/her owner by a title.  Something along the lines of Mistress/Master/Lady/Lord/Mommy/Daddy etc, etc.  I, however, call my Owner by her first name.  The only reason I refer to her as, "my Owner" on here is so I can respect her privacy and not use her first name...and because she personally detests the title Mistress.  I will respectfully use "Ma'am" when I want her to know that I'm deathly serious, but that's a rarity.  She only uses my first name, however, around family.  I'm fox 99% of the time and I refer to myself as such in her company.  Anywho, I think it's probably a little out of the norm for me to primarily use her first name...so, I just wanted to see if:

A. Does anybody else call their owner by her/his first name?

B.  If not, then what do you call her/him?

Thought it might make a semi-interesting topic. :-p



I call Him Sir.  In fact, I can't bring myself to call Him by His "real" name.  I think because if I do call Him by His first name: 1) I'm not respecting Him, 2) to me His name is Sir, and 3) the day I start calling Him by His first name is probably the day I am no longer His submissive ( I can't bare to think of that ever happening.)

girly



ItalianSMistress -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/2/2007 9:02:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: forg0ttenclone

My Dominant also does not like the name of "Mistress."  Most often i refer to Her as Goddess.  I use ma'am from time to time.  But 95% of the time, i use Goddess.  I have only once used Her first name in Her presence.  I generally find it difficult to refer to Her by Her first name.  Even when conversing with friends, i have to pause and think, otherwise i will end up referring to Her as Goddess.  All of my friends are vanilla, so they'd be like "goddess? wtf?"  


I have not laughed that hard in a long, long time.  I had a boy of Mine do something like that once, he was on the phone with someone and I was just walking in and he said something along the lines of, "oh, one second Mistress". Then noticed what he said and almost died, of course, I thought it was funny as hell and nearly died too,,,,LAUGHING.



stella41b -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/2/2007 9:57:26 PM)

I call her by whatever makes her feel comfortable and whatever she finds agreeable in the situation.



adoracat -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/3/2007 12:15:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I have always called my partners by their first names or an endearment, hon, babe, etc.

During a scene we may have used Sir or Master, but never outside of one.

If a prospective Dom asked to me to address him by calling him Sir or Master during a first email, I would say, sure Sparky, no problem.

If he said, oh you must not be very submissive since you don't use Sir or Master with a Dominant male when first speaking, I would then address him as Asshole.


you know, i never had an issue with calling a dominant "Sir".  mainly because its an honorific i've used all my life for older men. hell, i'll say "yes sir?" to the imp when  he calls me down the hall asking for something.

on the other hand, i wouldnt take orders from one in a first email, either.

kitten, my opinion, my .02, all standard disclaimers apply.



YourhandMyAss -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/3/2007 12:32:15 AM)

sorry to derail the thread fox, but I gotta ask,

peppermint, what's with people spelling cuss words with astrics and dots and what not, it's still a cuss word it's not any less of a cuss word, it doesn't look out right better than saying asshole. so what purpose does *** and @@@'s and things have when cussing.
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

I call him Gary, or Sir, or Sweetheart, or A**hole....whichever is most appropriate for the situation. 



Focus50 -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/3/2007 1:52:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

sorry to derail the thread fox, but I gotta ask,

peppermint, what's with people spelling cuss words with astrics and dots and what not, it's still a cuss word it's not any less of a cuss word, it doesn't look out right better than saying asshole. so what purpose does *** and @@@'s and things have when cussing.
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

I call him Gary, or Sir, or Sweetheart, or A**hole....whichever is most appropriate for the situation. 


Pardon my butting in but perhaps it's a means of communicating your meaning without actually being crude about it?
 
I've heard too many younger women swear like wharfies these days and frankly, I loathe how women are acting more like the fellas (and sometimes worse)!
 
So I'm a dinosaur who's attracted to the rapidly vanishing era of well-mannered feminine ladies and who appreciates women for their (diminishing) behavioural differences....  <shrugs>
 
Focus.



arayofsunshine55 -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/3/2007 1:55:04 AM)

I don't call anyone in my life by their first name.  I've got terms of endearment for all fo them, if I love them.  Names which have evolved from our relationship.  He's Daddy, he's "the geeze", he's my blue-eyed devil, etc.  When I find the bottom of my desires we will do the same, see what develops as we grow to know each other.



BeingChewsie -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/3/2007 6:22:22 AM)

I call my owner by his first name.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

From what I can tell, in most lifestyle relationships, the submissive generally refers to his/her owner by a title.  Something along the lines of Mistress/Master/Lady/Lord/Mommy/Daddy etc, etc.  I, however, call my Owner by her first name.  The only reason I refer to her as, "my Owner" on here is so I can respect her privacy and not use her first name...and because she personally detests the title Mistress.  I will respectfully use "Ma'am" when I want her to know that I'm deathly serious, but that's a rarity.  She only uses my first name, however, around family.  I'm fox 99% of the time and I refer to myself as such in her company.  Anywho, I think it's probably a little out of the norm for me to primarily use her first name...so, I just wanted to see if:

A. Does anybody else call their owner by her/his first name?

B.  If not, then what do you call her/him?

Thought it might make a semi-interesting topic. :-p




chellekitty -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/3/2007 7:41:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

sorry to derail the thread fox, but I gotta ask,

peppermint, what's with people spelling cuss words with astrics and dots and what not, it's still a cuss word it's not any less of a cuss word, it doesn't look out right better than saying asshole. so what purpose does *** and @@@'s and things have when cussing.
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

I call him Gary, or Sir, or Sweetheart, or A**hole....whichever is most appropriate for the situation. 


Pardon my butting in but perhaps it's a means of communicating your meaning without actually being crude about it?
 
I've heard too many younger women swear like wharfies these days and frankly, I loathe how women are acting more like the fellas (and sometimes worse)!
 
So I'm a dinosaur who's attracted to the rapidly vanishing era of well-mannered feminine ladies and who appreciates women for their (diminishing) behavioural differences....  <shrugs>
 
Focus.


that was her point...this is an adult forum...we can say words like asshole and fuck....and putting an astrix in place of some of the letters does not make them any less of a cuss word....if she has a problem with saying them....don't say them...you are not going to get in trouble for spelling them all the way out (which is why people started doing it in the first place, because of forums and chatrooms that you were not allowed to cuss in, you put the first letter and an appropriate number of a astrixes to subsitute for the cuss word or you would be kicked and banned for cussing)



sexyred1 -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/3/2007 7:50:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I have always called my partners by their first names or an endearment, hon, babe, etc.

During a scene we may have used Sir or Master, but never outside of one.

If a prospective Dom asked to me to address him by calling him Sir or Master during a first email, I would say, sure Sparky, no problem.

If he said, oh you must not be very submissive since you don't use Sir or Master with a Dominant male when first speaking, I would then address him as Asshole.


you know, i never had an issue with calling a dominant "Sir".  mainly because its an honorific i've used all my life for older men. hell, i'll say "yes sir?" to the imp when  he calls me down the hall asking for something.

on the other hand, i wouldnt take orders from one in a first email, either.

kitten, my opinion, my .02, all standard disclaimers apply.


Hi kitten, I would not use an honorific with someone I don't know, even with older men, unless it was a very, very old man. Then I might say, Sir can I help you cross the road? For me, I find it pretentious to call  Dominant men Sir in any capacity, since I am not deferring to them, nor am I involved with them in day to day life.

With partners of mine, they never expected or needed that kind of honorific, they were secure in who they were and as I said, only during a scene or play we may have used titles, but more the drama of it. If someone I was involved with needed me to call him Sir all the time, I would question his sense of self.



Wildfleurs -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/3/2007 7:55:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

A. Does anybody else call their owner by her/his first name?

B.  If not, then what do you call her/him?

Thought it might make a semi-interesting topic. :-p



Depending on the audience (such as my mother versus a kinkster) I'll refer to him or try to get his attention using his name versus master - as much as possible I try to just get his attention through any other means other than using his first name.  When talking about him in a conversation to someone else I'll usually either just say "my owner" or say "his first name, my owner."

C~



kyraofMists -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/3/2007 9:06:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

A. Does anybody else call their owner by her/his first name?

B.  If not, then what do you call her/him?


I am not allowed to address him by his first name, unless in an emergency.  This protocol applies no matter where we are or who we are with.  I will use his first name when talking about him to people who are not aware of the structure of our relationship.

Most often he is addressed as 'my Lord'.  The times that that is not appropriate, then he is referred to as 'my love'.  In play I can call him whatever comes to mind as long as I am willing to pay the consequences... and while painful, they are often fun consequences. 

Knight's Kyra



DesFIP -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/3/2007 9:28:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

sorry to derail the thread fox, but I gotta ask,

peppermint, what's with people spelling cuss words with astrics and dots and what not, it's still a cuss word it's not any less of a cuss word, it doesn't look out right better than saying asshole. so what purpose does *** and @@@'s and things have when cussing.
quote:



Some of us had our mouths washed out with soap at an early age for cursing. Or got into trouble at school for using improper language.

And the corrections stuck!

I can write curse words, but the worse ones I use in speech are hell or damn. He was teasing me one day and I finally responded "Fuck you". He thought it was funny, I wound up in tears for having spoken like that. First time in 35 years I've said that to anyone and I doubt I'll repeat it in the next 35.



adoracat -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/3/2007 9:29:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

you know, i never had an issue with calling a dominant "Sir".  mainly because its an honorific i've used all my life for older men. hell, i'll say "yes sir?" to the imp when  he calls me down the hall asking for something.

on the other hand, i wouldnt take orders from one in a first email, either.

kitten, my opinion, my .02, all standard disclaimers apply.


Hi kitten, I would not use an honorific with someone I don't know, even with older men, unless it was a very, very old man. Then I might say, Sir can I help you cross the road? For me, I find it pretentious to call  Dominant men Sir in any capacity, since I am not deferring to them, nor am I involved with them in day to day life.

With partners of mine, they never expected or needed that kind of honorific, they were secure in who they were and as I said, only during a scene or play we may have used titles, but more the drama of it. If someone I was involved with needed me to call him Sir all the time, I would question his sense of self.


*nods*  i do understand what you mean.  in my experience, i've worked a lot of service industry jobs...fast food, retail, grocery stores, etc., where being polite to customers was a requirement.  and i grew up calling elders Sir and Ma'am, so it still didnt ever phase me.  its just how i am, and i dont expect anyone else to be like me.  [:)]

i call my dominant Daddy.  or sometimes Sir or Master depending on my mood at the time.  i think "evil bastard!" has escaped my lips once or twice, LOL. 

calling other dominants Sir...in Daddy's opinion isnt agreeing to be dominated by them, its showing a bit of respect for who they're trying to be. it takes a lot of self control and self knowledge to become a good dominant, and its paying respect to that work.  (Daddy also says that me being sweet like that is a sign that he picked a good slave, but i dunno about that)

kitten, who doesnt expect anyone else to be like her, never has, never will



charlotte12 -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/3/2007 9:29:16 AM)

I woke up this morning in a panic because i heard the garbage trucks and thought i had slept through work. The first words out of my mouth were "Master! Master, what time is it?!" Later i smiled realizing how Master has become such second nature i say it when still half asleep.

I always call him Master. I actually got in trouble once for calling him by his first name because we have set that aside as something i can use when i need to indicate that something is very serious and he is not getting it. It scared him when i came running in to the room using his first name because he thought something was seriously wrong, which it wasn't. Usually a simple, "Master, your slave really needs to talk to you about something serious" works just as well though.

I use his first name when around family or when refering to him with someone who wouldn't know who "Master" is. I am trying to get in the habit of calling him "mi amo" in front of others though. "Amo" literally means Master in spanish but most people think i'm just saying "my love." [:D]

charlotte



Stephann -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/3/2007 9:41:50 AM)

Coming from a military background, I've found a title of some sort to be a useful tool.  I think it provides a subtle shift in how a submissive or slave approaches the relationship.  I won't deny getting my kick from it, but I don't consider that to be the driving force behind why I make use of it.

Stephan



gwendolyn -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/3/2007 10:00:26 AM)

I can count on one hand the number of times I've used his given name when addressing him. I was using Skype to talk to a friend who'd moved overseas a few months ago and refered to him by his given name. The moment it was out of my mouth, we stared at one another, until he said, "Where the hell did that come from, Gwen?" Needless to say, I haven't used it again.



Kumasan2 -> RE: No Use of Title? (12/3/2007 11:08:25 AM)

Personally, I don't care what you call me as long as you don't call me late for dinner.  :)

In my last relationship, I was Master and she was pet.  That's how we thought of each other.  I do remember one instance when we were at a mall together and she needed to get my attention to show me something, when she said she actually had to stop and think what my real name was since she didn't want to yell "MASTER, come look!" through the store.  This is after we'd been together for more than a couple of years, too.

For many of my friends, particularly female, I have names for them that no one else calls them.  Several have commented that it makes them feel special and who am I to deny them that?



Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
5.078125E-02