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RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/9/2012 4:43:15 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		Granted. You are at a party where the punch was spiked with XTC, but things don't go so well for you. A balding, toothless, out-of-shape older guy takes a fancy to you and pursues you relentlessly. You run out the door to get away from him and can fortunately outrun him. You find some bushes to hide in to get away from him. Concerned, the residents of the home call the police. The police come out and haul you into the slammer overnight since you seem impaired. You try to tell them the next morning what happened but realize you remember very little after arriving at that party.

I wish I had a faster metabolism.



(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 2481
RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/9/2012 8:10:09 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline 		Granted, you have a faster metabolism. But unfortunately, it results in you having trouble holding in your feces. You adopt by getting into scat, but that leads to infection, which your faster metabolism quickly spreads through your body.

I wish I wasn't so fucking lazy.

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If my experience level makes you feel superior, that is your problem, not mine.

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Profile   Post #: 2482
RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/9/2012 9:03:37 PM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline 		Granted. Your newfound ambition revs you up so much you decide to come to my house to help me paint all my windows (white with Sassy Lilac trim), tear down two walls of lath and plaster, drywall the living room, refinish my living room floor, and level and tile my ktchen floor (During this time I would keep you well fed and supply the beer of your choice). I would be scraping, priming and painting my garage.

I wish someone else would scrape, prime and paint my garage.


(in reply to Karmastic)
Profile   Post #: 2483
RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/9/2012 9:09:54 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		GRANTED!  I order one of my boys to "scrape, prime and paint [your] garage."  He walks off the job, cutting his collar using a convient bolt cutter laying around the construction site. He throws the cut collar in my face. ..... Wait.. I'm supposed to ruin YOUR wish.  Anyway, the next boy I provide loves that kind of work.... however he's dyslexic to a fault.  He paints, lets it dry.  Scrapes it, and then primes it. A rainstorm quickly washes the primer off.

I want two boys - one with a steel, chain collar.  The second with some dyslexia...... see, then when the wish is ruined, he'll be cured. Right?

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 6/9/2012 9:14:09 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 2484
RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/10/2012 1:55:31 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		Granted. The poor boy with the steel chain collar was walking outside during a storm and was unfortunately struck by lightning. The dyslexic boy was cured of his dyslexia. Now, however, he has ADD and medication doesn't help. He's pretty useless as a slave because he can't pay attention long enough to hear a complete command, let alone carry a task through to completion.

I wish I had a slice of strawberry cheesecake.

< Message edited by MysticFireTopaz -- 6/10/2012 2:00:51 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 2485
RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/10/2012 2:14:52 PM   
Deliena


Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Wish granted you had a slice of strawberry cheesecake, once, in 1999. You can never have it again.

I wish that I could successfully give up smoking.

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 2486
RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/10/2012 2:17:13 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline 		Granted, you successfully give up smoking. Unfortunately, you do that by replacing it with crack cocaine. You're now forced to offer your services in trade.

I wish there was no more war.

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If my experience level makes you feel superior, that is your problem, not mine.

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Profile   Post #: 2487
RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/10/2012 2:20:06 PM   
Deliena


Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Granted there are no more wars, even the ants don't make war on each other any more. Technology stalls as there are less incentives to push forwards and populations spiral out of control. Oops whole planet's in trouble now >.<

I wish I could give up this crack cocaine that Karmastic got me hooked on without replacing it with cigarettes or another form of addiction.

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Profile   Post #: 2488
RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/10/2012 2:40:27 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline 		lo fing l, brilliant answer :)

Granted, you give up crack cocaine without replacing it with another addiction. You take a vacation in Mexico to celebrate your new-found sobriety, and drug lords shoot up the restaurant you're in. You get splattered with what you think is blood, but turns out to be salsa. You survive, but end up with a fear of salsa

I wish I could spam back spammers.

edited for stooopid editing mistakes

< Message edited by Karmastic -- 6/10/2012 2:42:45 PM >

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[Awaiting Approval]

If my experience level makes you feel superior, that is your problem, not mine.

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Profile   Post #: 2489
RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/11/2012 5:33:12 AM   
kitkat105


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/29/2011
From: Eating dutch crunch in the Silicon Valley
Status: offline 		Granted. However, the only thing you can spam them back with is cans of Spam.

I wish I had a personal assistant to help me get through the next 3.5 weeks of craziness.

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(in reply to Karmastic)
Profile   Post #: 2490
RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/11/2012 6:07:54 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		Granted, meet your new personal assistant. Sleep well while he handles EVERYTHING!
I wish it would only rain at night, so I could go for my walks and work in the yard.




Attachment (1)

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yep

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Profile   Post #: 2491
RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/11/2012 8:11:54 AM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline 		Granted. There is 7 inches of rainfall EVERY night.

I wish I could run a marathon.

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Profile   Post #: 2492
RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/11/2012 9:18:39 AM   
Deliena


Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Granted you are put in charge of organising the London Marathon 2013.

I wish I had a marathon chocolate bar right now that I could eat

(in reply to hlen5)
Profile   Post #: 2493
RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/11/2012 9:24:07 AM   
girl91


Posts: 54
Joined: 6/28/2010
Status: offline 		Granted. You get the training to run a marathon, but twist your ankle on the way to the start line.


I wish I had a new cellphone.

(in reply to hlen5)
Profile   Post #: 2494
RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/11/2012 11:16:12 AM   
girl91


Posts: 54
Joined: 6/28/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: girl91

Granted. You get the training to run a marathon, but twist your ankle on the way to the start line.


I wish I had a new cellphone.


So I don't know how to edit and read your wish wrong.

Granted, but the Marathon chocolate bar is moldy and maggot infested.

I wish I had a new cellphone.

(in reply to girl91)
Profile   Post #: 2495
RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/11/2012 11:26:07 AM   
Deliena


Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Darn you! I really wanted one too >.<

Wish Granted! You have a new cellphone, no charger, no access to electricity and no SIM card. It's a bloody lovely phone too ;)

I wish I had a fresh, unspoiled, unsoiled, marathon chocolate bar here for me to eat right now and that I could without interference from anyone or anything else.

(can anyone tell I used to play Dungeons and Dragons..... :P)

(in reply to girl91)
Profile   Post #: 2496
RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/11/2012 12:27:28 PM   
Bill41


Posts: 83
Joined: 4/26/2012
Status: offline 		Granted your have your fresh, unspoiled, unsoiled, marathon chocolate bar here for You to eat right now and that You can without interference from anyone or anything else. However you have forgotten that you were born without taste buds.

Now I wish that i could eat and enjoy all the foods that i enjoy eating and never gain an ounce.


(in reply to Deliena)
Profile   Post #: 2497
RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/11/2012 1:52:02 PM   
SoulAlloy


Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline 		Granted!

Now everytime you eat an ounce of food another ounce instantly comes out the other end... needless to say mealtimes now require a commode and lots of air freshener

I wish Deliena would give me that Marathon bar

_____________________________

"Better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without" - Confucius

"It'll be alright in the end - if it isn't alright, it's not the end." - unknown

Kinky crossdressing Whovian

Host of the Preston (UK) Munch, 2nd Wednesday each month

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Profile   Post #: 2498
RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/11/2012 2:02:46 PM   
Bill41


Posts: 83
Joined: 4/26/2012
Status: offline 		i would too but you know what would happen to me. nice job

(in reply to SoulAlloy)
Profile   Post #: 2499
RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/11/2012 2:07:04 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulAlloy

Granted!

Now everytime you eat an ounce of food another ounce instantly comes out the other end... needless to say mealtimes now require a commode and lots of air freshener

I wish Deliena would give me that Marathon bar

Granted. She gives you the marathon bar. Sadly, she shared it with Bill first, so, well, you know.

I wish I would hear back about one of the jobs I applied for this summer, so I could quit cleaning everything in the house and sitting here at this damn computer!

_____________________________

yep

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Profile   Post #: 2500
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