A hole in my heart (Full Version)

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mistoferin -> A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 8:06:58 PM)

I lost one of my dearest friends today, she passed away suddenly. She was only 37 years old. She was a beautiful human being, a woman who was so full of life...so full of love. She was as tough as nails and as soft as butter. She walked many dark roads in her lifetime and had come to find peace and light in her service to her Master...the love of her life. She was devoted and proud in her slavery. She was one of a scarce few people in this world who really, really understood me...who I could be completely bare in front of. She accepted me with all of my flaws, encouraged me in all of my endeavors, supported me in all of my moments of weakness or sorrow...and never once stood in judgment of me. She brought so much to my life and we shared so much laughter, so much joy. She knew me in ways that no one else ever has...and shared herself with me in those same ways. I took it for granted that she would always just be there...and I will miss her immensely. I think there will always be a hole in my heart....

I know that losing someone we love is always a hard thing to bear regardless of whether or not they are in this lifestyle or not. But it feels different somehow because of our common orientation. Have you ever felt the void that someone in the lifestyle leaves differently?




dcnovice -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 8:08:02 PM)

Mist, I'm so very sorry for my loss. You have my warmest sympathies.



velvetears -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 8:10:32 PM)

i think you are feeling this loss differently because this person you were so close to was the one person who you could open up to and be yourself with. That died when she died. i am very sorry for your loss and hope your grief passes in time. There really are no words to say that helps when someone dies, just know you'll be in many thoughts here at CM.



TreasureKY -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 8:12:20 PM)

Mist, I cannot answer your question as I have no experience with it, but I do wish to express my deepest sympathy for the loss of your friend.



SunNMoon -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 8:12:42 PM)

I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you and all who knew her.



Gwynvyd -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 8:15:17 PM)

Mist I am sorry sorry for your loss.. it is so hard to lose those who lift us up.

An old Master of mine had passed after I had moved away and went back to my Domme ways.. but I still think of him.. and miss him dearly. He taught me much. The first munch I went to after he had passed was so hard. Being around so many who knew him, and knew me.. and just the huge level of sorrow at such a great guy passing was so hard. Being back up here in town is harder still.

Time does help heal things.. it does.. but it will always be there. I wish you peace at this time.. I know it is hard. *hugs*

Gwyn,
Who misses Stu still.



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 8:17:20 PM)

It is hard to lose a beloved friend and confidant...pay forward all those wonderful things she did for you in her honor...Tempting



Muttling -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 8:19:08 PM)

We have all lost people we love.  Most of us have lost a person or people who were something very special to us and it is VERY hard.  Those who haven't fealt such a loss will do so before they die.

I know the pain your feel and you have my warmest thoughts. 

I wish you well my friend.



calicowgirl -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 8:28:20 PM)

I am so very sorry for your loss.

cali



slavegirljoy -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 8:28:46 PM)

You have written a beautiful and touching eulogy for your special friend.   The loss that you are feeling is very evident in your words and all i can offer is my sincere sympathy.
 
While i have never known anyone in this lifestyle who has died, i have suffered the loss of some who are very dear to me and i grieve them still, even though it has been more than 11 years.
 
Cherish the memories of your friend and she will live on in your heart.
 
slave joy
Owned property of Master David



masoslave2serve -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 8:34:08 PM)

I am sorry for your loss.



MissMagnolia -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 8:35:17 PM)

Nothing to add to the beautiful things already expressed, but *hugs*



laurell3 -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 8:35:37 PM)

My sympathies mist unexpected deaths are always the hardest to deal with.  My thoughts are with you and her family.



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 8:38:15 PM)

The loss of a close friend whether lifestyle or not leaves the same great pain for me. Losing a close friend no matter where I met them or our interests leaves the same hole. You have my deepest sympathies.



FullfigRIMaam -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 8:43:48 PM)

I have felt that void, but it has to do with overall trust and practically unconditional love shared between us, not necessarily the lifestyle, though that wasn't a secret either between us.
I'm sorry for your loss Erin.   Many warm hugs and prayers sent your way.    M



Darkhaven80 -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 8:44:24 PM)

I'm very sorry. Death is horrible for those close to the deceased. My thoughts are with her family and friends.



MissOchistic -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 8:45:09 PM)

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. I've gone through it, as I think most of us have, but i think your right...somehow, someone else in the lifestyle feels a little different. Perhaps it's for the same reason we sometimes feel a closeness with someone after realizing they're in the scene and we had no idea.
Every loss does tear a tiny hole that can never really be fixed, but I hope soon you will feel better and grieve less. My best wishes to you.



astarri -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 8:55:56 PM)

You both very fortunate to have had each other for the time that you did. Those friendships are indeed rare and beautiful. I'm sorry for your loss truly and i hope you will soon be able to celebrate her life without feeling sadness.




mistoferin -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 9:05:57 PM)

Thank you all. I have been sitting here all day remembering the laughter that we shared. I've been talking to her all day...I've told her how much I love her...and how much this hurts. I bitched at her for her sucky timing...and for leaving before she showed me how to make that spaetzle like she promised me she would. I really believe that she is somewhere listening...but it will be hard not to hear her voice, her laughter...and her bitching at me back.

As badly as I hurt I can but only imagine the pain that her Master is feeling at this time. I called him awhile ago and got the answering machine. Hearing her voice felt like I had been stabbed with a knife. When he called me back we talked about the arrangements that have to be made. He will be allowing me to help him with the plans, which I am thankful for. I encouraged him to get some rest and to make sure to take time to eat. He said that he just made the first pot of coffee that he has had to make himself in 6 years. I told him that we will get through this....somehow.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: A hole in my heart (12/2/2007 9:12:07 PM)

Many condolences on your loss.  It's obvious that you loved your friend very much, and your love will keep her memory alive. 



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