RE: Kissing bad kissers (Full Version)

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Politesub53 -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/4/2007 2:40:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty
 
Politesub53, you are NOT polite, if you can't be nice, then don't say anything at all.  Didn't you learn that?! That's called being 'polite' sub. 
 


I knew it was wrong answering a post of yours, i was forgetting how stupid you are..... and yes, thats rude.

Quotes myself
"Sometimes we blame people for being bad kissers, not stopping to think the problem may be us"

You will notice i said we and us,what i said still holds. If WE kiss people and we think they are bad kissers, maybe they are thinking the same. All that is happening is their style is not the same as ours. WE can try and change the way they kiss with a few hints. Yet it doesnt alter they fact THEY may think WE are the bad kissers..

Carefull you dont fall off the high horse, its a long drop !



CalifChick -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/4/2007 3:06:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann
To boot, using hands makes kissing a more tactile and intimate experience.

Careful not to do it on someone, unless you want them to follow you home [;)]
 
 
Hands. Face. Intimacy. Not going home til the next morning. Got it. [;)]     


My husband (okay, now my ex) thought he was a great kisser.  He was most definitely NOT (in my opinion).  Pretty early on he came at me and I put my hands up to his chest and gently said "wait, let me do this for you."

I put my hands on either side of his head, near his ears, and slowly slid them forward and down his cheeks, my face to one side of his head, murmuring yummy noises softly.  Then lightly brushed my lips across his cheek, slowly towards his mouth, and very softly grazed his lips with mine.

He tried to engage at that point, and I again said, "no, let me".  I teased his lips with mine, softly sucking his bottom lip into my mouth, and slowly letting it go. 

I continued on like that, showing him what I liked.  It only took one lesson, and then he WAS a great kisser.  Well, okay, a second lesson where he asked me to do it again, but I think he already had it down at that point. LOL.

Cali



Rule -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/4/2007 3:18:37 PM)

Simply tell them it does not work for you and offer them instruction in how to kiss properly.
 
In any case count your blessings: they could have had bad breath and contagious diseases of their mouths and lips. How to kiss can be learned.



SimplyMichael -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/4/2007 3:50:01 PM)

quote:

I knew it was wrong answering a post of yours, i was forgetting how stupid you are..... and yes, thats rude.


Guess I haven't been the only one to notice...



SugarMyChurro -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/4/2007 5:03:57 PM)

Everyone has contagious diseases around their mouths and lips - they're called "words."

[:D]



laurell3 -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/4/2007 6:08:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty
 
Politesub53, you are NOT polite, if you can't be nice, then don't say anything at all.  Didn't you learn that?! That's called being 'polite' sub. 
 


I knew it was wrong answering a post of yours, i was forgetting how stupid you are..... and yes, thats rude.

Quotes myself
"Sometimes we blame people for being bad kissers, not stopping to think the problem may be us"

You will notice i said we and us,what i said still holds. If WE kiss people and we think they are bad kissers, maybe they are thinking the same. All that is happening is their style is not the same as ours. WE can try and change the way they kiss with a few hints. Yet it doesnt alter they fact THEY may think WE are the bad kissers..

Carefull you dont fall off the high horse, its a long drop !


There's nothing even remotely notnice about his post or any of his posts.  Don't tell him not to answer, I think most of the posters would agree we appreciate his comments and insight.  You, on the other hand need to learn the difference between a general comment and something personal and that if you don't actually want advice, don't ask for it.



NaiveTempest -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/4/2007 7:05:50 PM)

I believe maybe subtle hinting might help? Hell, I don't know. What I DO know is some men don't like women telling them (or hinting at them) to improve something in their "sexual repetoire". Some feel that they're just fine and if you don't like it than you can *step* off. And maybe you should, if you can get past their kissing techniques the next time around. Someone might have already said this so sorry for any repeats!



Tigrita -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/4/2007 9:54:13 PM)

Personally I've never had success with an incompatible kisser, but then, I'm pretty impatient with incompatibility.  I do know a great couple though, a friend of mine who was at first talking to me about this issue with her.  He was completely smitten, so she was worth it to him, and they eventually found their groove and are blissfully happy.

I do think CalifChik's advice sounds divine though, if that doesn't work, I don't know what would, and is similar to what my friend above did successfully. 

Overall though, I think that if two people can't feed off eachothers' body language and get into a good kissing groove pretty quickly it does not bode well for other physical interactions.  But, in all honesty, I can't speak from experience, because I've never stuck it out to sleep with a bad kisser.  Do you want to have to talk them through all of that too?  I'm more of a fan of natural chemistry.

Sorry, I'm kind of all over the map.  Good luck to you!  

Oh, and do listen to Stephan too, he sure does know what he's talking about <happy sigh>.



stella41b -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/5/2007 2:54:40 AM)

You know, one thing caught my interest in this thread... the assertion that if a man was useless at kissing then he must be useless at everything else.

I find that really sad. Sure, some people are great kissers, and some people are not. Some people are very good kissers, but they're also perhaps very shy, not that confident, and might initially be uncomfortable with those initial steps into intimacy, especially if they're men.

Two dates doesn't strike me as an awful long time, so what happened to time and patience? What's more important here? The fact that you are being dated and are with someone, or the feelings and the enjoyment that the other person gets out of being with you? I know in my case what the answer is most definitely, but do you?

I'd like also to welcome MissMorrigan to these boards, I remember her profile from seeing it last year, she struck me as a quality Domme, I remember the problems she had finding someone, the patience she showed through her journal entries, and was personally pleased when she found someone who made her happy. I personally feel she has got a lot to offer these boards and I for one hopes she reads my posting and feels welcomed and encouraged to write more postings.

So following the logic of the OP if the guy doesn't get it right in the bedroom in two attempts does this also mean finito? I realise that things like kissing and sex are very important for many people, but surely the most important aspect of the relationship isn't the technique, but the emotions and feelings involved, or am I wrong?

I'm sorry, but if kissing is really so important that by the second date you're wondering whether to ditch the guy or not then you must be a teenager, either in reality or mentally. Some people are great kssers, others are not, but everyone I would assume has an imagination and there are other ways of showing intimacy between two people. Besides, if someone's not great in an area such as kissing pointing it out at such an early stage in the relationship is really only to make matters worse.

Why can't we just accept that we're all rubbish at something? I for example cannot dance. I dance like a spastic cow on a trampoline with a root vegetable coated in harissa shoved up my backside, and know from past experience that trying to teach me to dance runs a serious risk of injury either to myself or the other person.

I can kiss, in fact I can give brilliant soothing massages and have a wide array of excellent bedroom skills, but I'm sorry, if it's coming up for intimacy after two dates I'm sorry, but I for one need a bit more time.

Therefore I'd just say chill, give the guy more time and just learn to be patient. That is, if you feel you have enough time for the guy.



Politesub53 -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/5/2007 4:04:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tigrita

He was completely smitten, so she was worth it to him, and they eventually found their groove and are blissfully happy.




This is an excellent point. Usually the longer you are in a relationship, the more compatible you become. Speaking for myself i would put up with a poor kisser if we had great chemistry otherwise.



RCdc -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/5/2007 5:40:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

I knew it was wrong answering a post of yours, i was forgetting how stupid you are..... and yes, thats rude.


Guess I haven't been the only one to notice...


Nope - not the only ones...
 
the.dark.



RCdc -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/5/2007 5:41:33 AM)

*waves her 'I love politeone' flags in his direction.*
 
the.dark.



Politesub53 -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/5/2007 5:55:48 AM)

Blushes a tad....



MissMorrigan -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/5/2007 6:47:37 AM)

Sometimes two people instantly fit together, other times we have to work with what we have and learn how to enhance it. I'm sure we've all had those...

Oh god, left a bit
Down slightly
No no, too far
Right a bit
You're almost there
Oh shit, I was almost there!
For crying out loud get your father in here to show you how to do it!

moments.

I think it all boils down to a person's motivations and quite often in the internet/instant dating game the whole process is sped up and few people actually court one another (how old fashioned am I!). Expectations are high when seeking instant gratification. Being rather old fashioned, I enjoy the flirting, the slow-build up and on occasion (alright, I'll be honest - frequently) I'll have those intensely passionate moments where I'll just want to consume him and I'll attach myself to his face like a barnacle on a whale's blubber. Zero finesse involved, just raw passion.  

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53
This is an excellent point. Usually the longer you are in a relationship, the more compatible you become. Speaking for myself i would put up with a poor kisser if we had great chemistry otherwise.



lighthearted -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/5/2007 6:49:30 AM)

in response to the OP...I dated someone once who was the wet, slobbery kind of kisser.  I made a comment about him being "juicy" when he kissed...his response was, "yeah, I've always been like that".  so in all honesty, I don't think he really cared one way or another.  (we never went past 3rd base, so I can't comment on what his other skills were.)  point is, he may just "be" that way, it may be something you have to live with if you decide to keep seeing him. 

edited:  spelling



MissMorrigan -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/5/2007 7:35:08 AM)

I did notice that, but you know, Stella, each individual seeks out someone in whom they can enjoy compatability. I used to chat with a lady that was forever seeking that perfect mate, she had a long checklist of 'positives' and 'negatives' and she was caught in an eternal cycle of never finding her 'ideal'... that's b/c her ideal didn't exist and her criteria was so clinical that it didn't allow for the quirks we humans have an abundance of.
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
You know, one thing caught my interest in this thread... the assertion that if a man was useless at kissing then he must be useless at everything else.


I found this with my own boy, one previous relationship and a shyness that had him introverted and very unsure of many things in life, especially the opposite sex! I found everything about him endearing and still do, almost two years later. His confidence has grown in so many ways and he is a perfect lover, friend, confidante, partner in crime. His initial awkwardness has gone, he kisses and touches me with an assuredness he didn't have previously and thank goodness he came to me for corruption ;-)
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
I find that really sad. Sure, some people are great kissers, and some people are not. Some people are very good kissers, but they're also perhaps very shy, not that confident, and might initially be uncomfortable with those initial steps into intimacy, especially if they're men.


This is the age of the internet, with speed dating and instant relationships. so many people want instant gratification but then, along with that may come the rewards many seek in such short-lived relationships, but they also miss out on so many other levels. It isn't wrong to want those relationships, they are just... different.
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
Two dates doesn't strike me as an awful long time, so what happened to time and patience? What's more important here? The fact that you are being dated and are with someone, or the feelings and the enjoyment that the other person gets out of being with you? I know in my case what the answer is most definitely, but do you?


Stella, thank you so much for such kind words.
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
I'd like also to welcome MissMorrigan to these boards, I remember her profile from seeing it last year, she struck me as a quality Domme, I remember the problems she had finding someone, the patience she showed through her journal entries, and was personally pleased when she found someone who made her happy. I personally feel she has got a lot to offer these boards and I for one hopes she reads my posting and feels welcomed and encouraged to write more postings.


You surely MUST have been the person watching me on the morning I attempted to go the length of my cobbled garden path that was covered in ice one morning.
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
I for example cannot dance. I dance like a spastic cow on a trampoline with a root vegetable coated in harissa shoved up my backside, and know from past experience that trying to teach me to dance runs a serious risk of injury either to myself or the other person.




Sinergy -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/5/2007 7:46:31 AM)


General reply.

What I have learned in life is that kissing is something where the words "Less is more" are completely appropriate.

Sinergy

p.s. when she is tied up, kissing is also a wonderful method to use to feed her chocolate.



slaverosebeauty -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/5/2007 9:01:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy
What I have learned in life is that kissing is something where the words "Less is more" are completely appropriate.

Sinergy

p.s. when she is tied up, kissing is also a wonderful method to use to feed her chocolate.


We were on a horse ranch and one guy evidently knows how to use his hands [he is a sergeon (sp?)]; ok.. add 'rope' to the list of things to leave in the car when I drive out there next week.  Thanks Sinergy
 
Yes, I AM making a small decision after 2 dates with each  guy, I don't do casual dating bs, it's nothing I am a fan of; I believe in chemistry and in compatability on may levels. 



mons -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/11/2007 1:39:43 AM)

greetings

oh yuck is right kissing is so important and if it is done right you have my heart. but i went out with a slave and he was so sweet he kisses were so light on my neck but then when he came kiss me i thought i was going to throw up he kissed me in a way that was so bad he tongue was like saliva cover and slick it was not the right way it was all wrong and i think of it now i just get sick, i told him i would teach him how to kiss he was upset but i had to tell him light kissing is great then work up to strong kisses a nasty mouth is gross well that is all for me yes some of the slave can use a lesson in kissing

mons



camille65 -> RE: Kissing bad kissers (12/11/2007 2:49:44 AM)

Oh jeez the bad kisser. Yuck. I was married to one for almost 20 years and let me tell ya, there was very little kissing going on because he just would'nt learn. Slobbery and way way too forceful like he was trying to cement our mouths permanently with his saliva.
Yuckkkkkkkkk!

You say that you have a perfected technique but you may have to adjust it for awhile. I suggest dropping the technique in the beginning then slowly bringing it in using that as a teaching tool. It sounds like someone being an expert in something who is doing that something with an inexperienced person, so slow down, ease back on that perfect technique and work together.
I have to say that if your technique is perfect for every man then there wouldn't be many issues, certainly not 2 men in a row who can't measure up. It is a mismatched kissing situation that can be remedied but it will help if you drop the idea that you are indeed perfect at it.
Few are perfect at things as nebulous and personal as kissing so try and become a beginner kisser with them and grow from there.

*smooch*



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