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RE: Is common courtesy gone? - 12/4/2007 12:17:35 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
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quote:

In the history of the world, there has never been a better time to hate people. Nor a better time to whine about them.

This is also the best time in the history of the world to reach through a computer and slap people.

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RE: Is common courtesy gone? - 12/4/2007 12:18:58 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

This is also the best time in the history of the world to reach through a computer and slap people.

LOL Now THAT I will agree with

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RE: Is common courtesy gone? - 12/4/2007 1:38:23 PM

octavia

Posts: 377
Joined: 5/20/2007
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For me,
If i get an email that indicates that the sender has actually read my profile, ( I use the who has veiwed me to see sometimes) then I will respond if it's warranted. I get several emails a week that are form letters... I even get repeats sometimes from the same men, not sure if they don't remember they have already "hit" me once or what....Those I ignore along with the pile of emails that contain unsolicited pornography, the "bitch hit your knees now" emails, and the "will you be my Dom?" collection.

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RE: Is common courtesy gone? - 12/4/2007 2:06:59 PM

carlie310

Posts: 256
Joined: 9/23/2007
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I always refer to the Views page when figuring out which emails get replies. I'm amused by how many say "I liked your profile" yet never viewed it. If you looked at the profile, and something there actually encouraged the email. . .you'll probably get a reply. (As I'm not actively seeking right now, that's what the reply will be, along with other TMI that will probably send you running for the hills, lol.) But my online time is fairly limited, so prompt replies aren't likely.

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RE: Is common courtesy gone? - 12/4/2007 4:24:46 PM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
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There are some kinds of messages I'll delete and block right off the bat, because there is no way to answer them back without adverse consequences. Or because their message is a disrespectful violation of the limits and boundaries I politely state in the first few lines of my profile. I have no courtesy for people who introduce themselves in a discourteous way.

I let people know right up front that I will delete and block people who have not actually read the profile and who aren't commenting in a relevant way on what's in the profile. But since most people don't actually read the profile and just send one-liners or form letters to anyone whose picture they like or anyone who happens to have tits and a whip, they won't know why they were blocked. I really don't have much sympathy for those folks. Life is too short for me to spend it talking to people who can't or won't read, or who don't care who they're propositioning. I don't feel I owe any courtesy to random strangers who have not taken the time to be courteous to me, so I simply decline any interaction.

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RE: Is common courtesy gone? - 12/4/2007 7:06:46 PM

sweetestnettles

Posts: 25
Joined: 10/8/2007
From: Sydney
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I continue being randomly propositioned by doms who haven't bothered to look at my profile. If they had, they'd see I'm owned and not looking for anyone else. Most of the emails I receive are along the lines of "Hi. How are you tonight?" to which, what does one reply? "Hi, thanks I'm good but already taken so good luck"? Why should I have to spend my time responding to people who haven't even bothered to check out my full profile? That to me implies they're probably trawling the site for whoever will respond and therefore don't actually give a damn about me or if I respond anyway. Luckily I've only received a few emails from doms who demanded respect and submission immediately due only to the fact that they chose to be dom and I chose to be submissive; and they don't get a response either.

I know someone has said this before on the boards, but anyone who takes online rejection personally needs a reality check.

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RE: Is common courtesy gone? - 12/4/2007 7:09:00 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EclipseAbove
I even get not responding to messages from people who don't interest you because you have to type out a response - I understand lazy.

People who don't interest me obviously haven't read my profile. It's very specific as to what I'm looking for. If you're too lazy to read my profile, it's a double waste of my time to respond. I consider wasting my time to be disrespectful. So, therefore, no response.

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RE: Is common courtesy gone? - 12/4/2007 8:13:45 PM

sweetestnettles

Posts: 25
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From: Sydney
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just to update on this very subject, I have just received a message saying "Nice profile." Mindful of what I've just read, I'm polite and reply "Thankyou." His response? "Do you have yahoo?"
Now, if he had actually read my profile, he'd know I'm not interested in anyone else. WTF? How is that not rude in itself. He knows nothing about me, obviously, yet wants to converse with me online. What a dick.

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RE: Is common courtesy gone? - 12/5/2007 12:03:21 AM

stella41b

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I'm sorry, but I can see what the OP is getting at, and I agree entirely. And it's not just common courtesy which is so lacking on these websites. And I mean, it's just not this website, and it's not even the Internet, it's ALL WOMEN nowadays. I personally feel that it's been like this for so long, I mean, ever since all those feminists burnt their bras in the 1960's nobody's been bothered about the problems, have they? All this nonsense about free love and women's equality, well it's gone on for so long it's just getting completely out of hand. How I do so agree with the OP, most women are just soooo rude and ignorant.

This would have never happened before the Second World War, or come to that matter even better, before both the world wars. Women had time for people, they had servants and maids and butlers and it was no problem to sit down and spend an entire afternoon sitting and writing letters to potential partners. Some would even get their servants involved on writing letters. Indeed I came across a website somewhere where this submissive Countess was so anxious to find the right male Dom that she employed six writing maids purely to handle her correspondence.

But to me the golden age of common courtesy was the 19th century. The servants could be left to do their duties, because most women had friends and some of their lady friends had children, and it was really no bother to go and borrow your friend's six year old boy, pull him out from the chimney flue, give him a good scrub, hand him a letter to a potential male Dom and send him away for a month strapped to the back of a stagecoach just to deliver a letter say on the other side of the United States. It really didn't matter even if you had to pull a couple of arrows from the poor boy's backside when he returned from the Indians on the journey, but he got the letter delivered and that was the most important thing, to please the Master above everything else.

But to me the ultimate period when submissive women were really extremely civilized and courteous and most eager to please any potential male Dom was back in the periods of Cro-Magnon and Neanderthal. There wasn't any of this correspondence, no male Dominant was ever kept waiting and they just went out with a thick wooden club and went and showed how Domly they were and made their intentions perfectly clear without any pussy-footing around - a good whack around the back of the head was all that was needed. These female submissives responded with such perfect etiquette unknown in modern times or even among homo sapiens. They would cry out loudly which was generally seen as their acceptance of the male Dom's advances (ouch was generally perceived to indicate brattiness so a second whack of the club might have been necessary), sway around a little, cross their eyes and smile rather stupidly, groan and moan a lot, stagger around in a few random semi-circles, hold their heads, and would lean over as they staggered which was a sign for the male Dom to claim ownership by grabbing them by the hair and dragging them assertively back to the cave for a damn good seeing to. This is what is known as REAL BDSM, and anyone talking about REAL Doms and subs are basically referring to BDSM in the Neanderthal period.

Hope this makes things clearer for people.

< Message edited by stella41b -- 12/5/2007 12:09:24 AM >

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RE: Is common courtesy gone? - 12/5/2007 1:00:22 AM

eyesopened

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When i started out, i actually contacted Dominants i thought i would like to get to know. Yikes! The vast majority of the replies, if i got any, were so mean that i used to just read and cry and wonder why anyone would be so hateful. i stopped making first contact. Not because i am passive-agressive or demanding but just self-preservation.

i've never gotten more than one or two emails a day so replying wasn't a problem but frankly i don't think it is rude to not answer the phone every single time it rings, or respond to every email. Like other's have said, no response IS a response. i hardly think it rude to not reply to "U suk m kok know"

Another reason some may not like to respond is email exchanges like:
Him: You would be a perfect addition to my harem.
me: i'm so sorry but i am not suitable for a poly relationship
Him: You don't get to decide if you're suitable... I decide.
me: i'm sorry, but i simply am who i am and i would not thrive in such a situation.
Him: You cunt! You wannabe! If you were a REAL slave you would only want your Master's pleasure.
me: [sound of the block button]

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RE: Is common courtesy gone? - 12/5/2007 5:52:43 PM

Bethnai

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Joined: 11/8/2007
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I rejoined CM a short while ago, my profile has gone through 3 changes, and will again.......when I'm damn good and ready and not a minute before. I got flooded. I spent this hour and a half trying to respond politely to each and every message in a correct way. Both times. I'm not online every day and there are days that I come up here because.....I need a break, I need to unwind, and I'm going to read the threads. I can't deal with all that right now. Life happens when your busy making other plans. I'm not going to feel that I have to respond anymore to every message that I get and stopped that. I'm not going to be held hostage by my email.

Secondly, I am tired of people not reading my freaking profile when they do write. I'm going to say 80% is not having the capacity to be absolutely clear on what I'm looking for. I can accept responsibility for that, hence the reason I will redo it when I'm ready. That way I can be at least sure that the message I'm trying to convey can't be confused.......in theory.

Thirdly, I will always operate from a friendship basis. To date, none of my friends asked me what my deepest darkest fantasies are right from the get go None of them has in fact. Truth be known, they are quick to state theirs and quick to tell me they wish they hadn't heard mine.

Fourthly, while I would not ever spend the rest of my time making comparisons of my former with others, I strongly feel that if you can't approach me with the least consideration for my well being in even the simplest of matters as email/information exchange....it ain't happening. I'm not going to respond. This is not something, for obvious reasons, to screw around with. Those basic standards are out there and I will never accept less. Period. There ARE those that can meet them. So, I will not settle for less than that.
He didn't approach me. I was so fed up the first time around, and I got tired of logging on and seeing him on the screen that I wrote him. I told him he had great eyes, and I never thought to hear from him again. I thought well, if your going to be up on the screen I should just let you know. I don't think I will do that again, but it did play out that way.

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RE: Is common courtesy gone? - 12/5/2007 10:25:13 PM

slavemaia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EclipseAbove

I've recently started searching on the "other side" and I can understand nearly all of the behavior that goes on over there. I get that in general submissives are likely to be passive and need to be contacted first. I get that some want the first contact to be vanilla and humane (no use of "on your knees", "bitch", "slut", etc.) and others want the exact opposite. I even understand dumping messages without reading them when there are ten trillion messages in your in-box. I even get not responding to messages from people who don't interest you because you have to type out a response - I understand lazy.

But what I just can't get my head around is why people don't click on one of those four auto-response buttons that type out a response for them and click the send button (the Thank You one is pretty good for politely saying "Don't ever contact me again"). Ok, I understand that it would take a whole three clicks to send a response (one for the auto-response, one to send the message and one to confirm). But is that really too much? Especially from a group of people who in general want to be respected, not have their limits trampled upon and want their submission to be seen as a precious gift (yes, I'm generalizing).

I guess what I really want to know is: Has the basic common courtesy of responding to someone that makes an effort to contact another person been lost? I really hope it hasn't and that there is some other dynamic going on here that provides a very reasonable explaination. Thoughts?

i honestly don't see what no response has to do with common courtesy. It's simply a way of saying "not interested". You can expect anything you want. Not having your expectations satisfied does not make others discourteous or anything else.

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RE: Is common courtesy gone? - 12/6/2007 12:30:55 AM

tdslittlehelper

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Joined: 8/30/2007
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If someone has made a statment such as... "hi" then I normally don't reply. I am a submissive not a mindreader.. why are you writing? What do you want? What are you looking for...etc.. I myself answer most of the e-mails I get. AND I did not know until reading this thread that there was an auto reply button. So maybe people are just not aware of the fact that they exist.

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RE: Is common courtesy gone? - 12/6/2007 1:25:47 AM

MissMagnolia

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Same for the Dommes. Hi, will not get anyone a reply from me.

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RE: Is common courtesy gone? - 12/6/2007 2:21:44 AM

MissSCD

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I am all for manners. I am not looking for a relationship, and still get emails wanting to meet me. Read the profile carefully. The profile will tell you what the person wants.
I personally like the four reply buttons for people I absoultely do not wish to be in contact with. It is not lazy, it is just being honest up front. Move on to the next.

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RE: Is common courtesy gone? - 12/6/2007 9:02:45 AM

Missokyst

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I don't have those auto-response options in my browser. Courtesy has nothing to do with why I respond or decline to respond. A non reply IS a response in my view.
But I am one of those people who doesn't answer the door to religious salesmen either.
Move along.
Kyst

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RE: Is common courtesy gone? - 12/6/2007 9:25:31 AM

lauren0221

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I have basically nothing in my profile right now, and I have lost count of how many messages I have received saying they like my profile. What do you say to that?

I respond to messages that capture my attention. I am simply not going to take time out of my life to respond to someone who has has not noticed I have no profile, thinks looking for friends means that I am seeking hot monkey love, or seems to have lost a whole bunch of vowels and consonants somewhere along the way. I see no response, when there is no possibility of anything, as consideration for their time as well as mine.

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