|
stella41b -> RE: Need support (12/4/2007 11:27:43 PM)
|
I'm staying neutral here. You're both behaving like a pair of 14 year olds. I mean, what's the big issue here? The money? His behaviour? A broken promise? Your hurt feelings? Tit tat tit tat tit tat tit tat, and so it goes, on and on and on and on. Why?
What are you getting out of this? What's he getting out of this?
Maybe some can show me where it's written in this community that being a Dominant means you're not allowed to have faults and imperfections or issues? They're people just like everyone else and they got pasts too. It's pretty childish in my opinion to expect someone say, over the age of 30 not to have any issues relating to their past, vanilla or otherwise.
I haven't read the other posting and I'm not going to. Ive just read the OP, a few of the other responses enough to draw my own conclusion. It doesn't matter to me who he is, he could be a nice Dom for all I know, he could be a hardened crack and coke addict with an ulterior motive trying to get you on the game, I don't know and it doesn't bother me. Nor does your circumstances bother me either. I'm reading the OP and assuming that you're both adult and responsible for your own decisions and feelings.
Now any sort of relationship in this community, like it or not, calls for a certain level of maturity and responsibility. It doesn't matter what your circumstances are, who you are, what role you find yourself in, to get anywhere in these sorts of relationships you have to, you have to be responsible and mature enough to handle the consequences of your actions and decisions. In reality this is no different from any sort of relationship between two adults.
Now let's look at the facts. There was an arrangement between you. This is a fact. The arrangement didn't work out. This is another fact. You don't know why this arrangement didn't work out, as there was no explanation. Like it or not, this is another fact. They guy was trying to get in touch and communicate something to you. This is another fact. You hampered this communication by getting pissy with him and not answering calls. This is another fact.
This is all about facing facts. No point in being with a Dominant if you cannot trust or communicate with them. Another fact is that when you enter a relationship with someone identifying themselves as a Dominant you accept that they're going to have the lion's share of control in the relationship, especially in the immediate issues. If this is something you cannot handle then don't get into a relationship with a Dominant, it's really that simple.
The way I see it you got three choices. You can either prolong the hurting and agony and continue playing the childish games and making a pantomime out of the relationship, or you can start acting like rational mature adults and admit that there's problems, and get together and discuss it between you and keep on discussing it until you're both happy with the solution, or you can walk.
Discussing it means admitting to problems and mistakes on both sides and discussing solutions without pointing fingers and trying to work out who's at fault or to blame here.
Or you can just walk, leave, and not look back.
Your life, your feelings, your relationship, your happiness, your decision.
I wish you luck.
|
|
|
|
