LadyHugs
Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
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Dear LadyPact, Ladies and Gentlemen;
I am one of those individuals to whom straddles different Leather and or lifestyle cultures. I was strongly influenced in the beginning with the Gay Leather culture overseas and when it was a time where people had to be discreet. I also was involved in the Heterosexual lifestyle culture as well. At that time, being discreet took you places no others would be allowed. But, this is my history--and few are able to relate.
Titles were bestowed on someone--this was long before the necessary 'screen name' and or the Internet. I was given Hugs as a name long, long time ago. It is title and or role neutral. Back then--to safeguard identity we had 'names given' to us. Spoke as to what personality traits and or arch-types we possessed.
For me, I am not hung up on the use of titles, especially these days when so many 'self entitlements' are going on and the awe is absent. I have my personal preferences of course but, at times the situation calls for a bit of withdraw when there are many who cannot handle someone who may have earned the old fashioned way the title of Master, when they are a female--yet, many civilian examples exist to where Master is gender neutral. How Master is used is varied. My peers deemed me as a Master and am honored by such a title. The 'then' Heterosexual community was extremely hostile towards me and other women who used the title of Master. Although my mastery is beyond ownership of a slave and is a level of skill, knowledge and application; in addition to ownership of slaves living with me; it was a miserable place for me to be as a Heterosexual in that Heterosexual M/s culture--so, I adopted 'Lady' for two reasons; first being "Hugs" on AOL was already taken and so was MasterHugs--so, Lady was available and it also fits the 'behavior' more than just a title--So, that is the story of how I became Lady Hugs. However, when I was featured in newspaper prior to registering in AOL--I was just "Hugs." [Ref. The Washington Blade, 1997] When in the Gay Leather communities in Baltimore, MD and Washington, DC and others overseas--I didn't demand anybody call me this or that...or Master, SIR or whatever. They called me what they felt I was deserved to be called. Some Masters called me Master, some SIR and yet others called me Hugs. The same for the boys/lads/slaves.
In Heterosexual circles--again, I didn't demand the use of titles however, being flagged --regardless if in Gay circles or Heterosexual circles; all knew I was a Dominant individual.
In my personal experiences, the climate was more 'nit picky' as to how dominant women were addressed. Mixed with society's association of terms--Mistress was 'the other woman'; rather than the feminine Master; Madame was not the high etiquette form in addressing ladies, to include HRH Queen Elizabeth the Second in written form--"Dear Madame..." Madame in the USA is usually associated with running a bordello and or a house of prostitution. I did not fit this criteria. I upset many a male dominant by using my title of Master. Since I was unmistakenly a 'lady' in all forms and or manners; I made things easier for them by just going with "Lady Hugs."
I really am not defined by the role titles. I define the role titles. I am because I am and those who know me, know what and who I am. Keen eyes know immediately what and who I am, just on how I present myself and or move about. I don't need a neon sign declaring myself as a Master, a Dominant and or Lady. I too know who is a Master, who is Dominant and or a Lady and or Gentleman and or a slave, submissive a bottom and or a servant by the same observing skills as others have.
I don't feel that Domme is a good term for female Dominants. Its as close to a 'do me' word and that isn't what I feel is deserving for many ladies here. A male Dominant said that they (men) created the term to distance female Dominants from male Dominants. The feelings back in the late 1970's as far as I personally observed was an attitude where female Dominants did so because they failed at being good slaves so, this Domme title was created. It sounds close to the word 'dummy.' Again, sounds too close for degrading terms to a woman who is Dominant.
I also wish to say, that when I was green as a salad in the lifestyle and or Master/slave; the use of Dominant or submissive was more of a description of a 'state of being' instead of a title.
I am sure other countries/nations/territories and or states and or commonwealths within the USA had different applications and situations however, this has been my personal dealings with the title/role usages up to this point and time.
I will prefer that only an owned slave of mine would use the title of Master or Mistress and all others address me as Hugs, Lady Hugs and am even willing to answer to a "Hey you.'' LOL. But, again--I wouldn't be upset if someone called me Master, Mistress, SIR, etc. I rather appreciate the intentions of being respectful; no matter how its delivered.
Just some thoughts.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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RE: Mistress or Domme - 
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