RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (Full Version)

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LaDee -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 10:18:48 AM)

Yes it does suck. Thanks



HottLicks -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 10:20:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaDee

At first I spoke w/ him abt it he still denies it just says they r friends.  I emailed her and told her he was NOT available and she lied and said they were ONLY friends too. Then I caught them sending IMs latenight and I busted them.  I told her to saty away from him or I would post their conversations online.


Not sure that would be a great idea... and I think it might be against the rules here too. 



AquaticSub -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 10:21:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HottLicks

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaDee

At first I spoke w/ him abt it he still denies it just says they r friends.  I emailed her and told her he was NOT available and she lied and said they were ONLY friends too. Then I caught them sending IMs latenight and I busted them.  I told her to saty away from him or I would post their conversations online.


Not sure that would be a great idea... and I think it might be against the rules here too. 


I'd consider it pretty petty. It's not going to fix any of the problems.



LaDee -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 10:22:08 AM)

I took away his priviledges @ home, butt he has access at work. 



LaDee -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 10:24:00 AM)

he isn't on this site.



LaDee -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 10:31:52 AM)

Some might say its petty butt it seems to ave worked he isn't chatting w/ her from home anymore. btw.....I didn't post the emails or IMs



AquaticSub -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 10:37:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaDee

Some might say its petty butt it seems to ave worked he isn't chatting w/ her from home anymore. btw.....I didn't post the emails or IMs


If this is just a symptom of a problem in your relationship, I highly doubt that the situation has actually been fixed - which is why I suggest you have some honest talks to figure out if it is. Including being open to him saying that his needs aren't being met.



HottLicks -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 10:41:34 AM)

Without knowing what your husband/submissive was saying and such, it is hard to say what I would do.  (I am not asking or wanting to know!)  If their conversations were beyond sexy talk and I didn't have an open relationship, I would consider that cheating and lying.  I could be jealous, but I wouldn't let that influence the situation because jealousy can be a very dark place and something one regrets if they let it rule the day.

You can't control someone intent on deception and to try only complicates things.  Why put yourself through it?  Rather than coming from a victim/jealous place... why not think about presenting your boundries or expectations and letting him decide whether he can work with them or not?  If you can't control it all and you can't just walk away, you are in a bind... From my own experiences, I just won't put up with it all and will walk away even if it is messy.  Mess's typically can be cleaned up.  Don't lose yourself and be taken to a place you won't do well in.

I feel for you... this is a tough one... Good luck to you!



LaDee -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 10:50:58 AM)

I appreciate the advice.



DesFIP -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 12:49:42 PM)

I think you need some open communication. If you aren't meeting his needs, then he will look elsewhere. Dominants have responsibilities as well as rights. Included in that is the necessity to have open communication lines at all times including about the stuff you don't want to hear. Like how resentful he is, and how he's turned off, or how devalued he feels.

But for him to look else where is a symptom and not the problem. Punishing without solving the problem just exacerbates it. Try marriage counseling and own your own responsibility. Saying you don't have to meet his needs and he has to be constantly unhappy just because you're the domme doesn't cut it. Ever.



mnottertail -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 12:58:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaDee

I appreciate the advice.


Look, tell him fine if that is what he wants to fuck around with, you are going to begin a cuck relationship....his choice, straighten the fuck up, like puritan straighten the fuck up, or he is gonna be nursing on your lovers cock, for his kicks.

I however am the type that immediately kicks that sorta shit to the curb.

Ron



ghitaPVH -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 1:20:53 PM)

personally, Id be released. No questions asked..and yea, it would involve a divorce. that shit just dont happen.

not for the cybering..hell, I can cyber with who ever I want as long as I talk to him about it.(cept I dont cause I cant stand cybering..I just flirt like mad)  but for the lying and the breach of trust.

ghita~

pssst...Ron...wanna cyber?



Gardenista -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 1:32:46 PM)

There'd be no divorce with us, but my husband would most likely be incredibly hurt if I did that. That would be punishment enough for me.  



MasterFireMaam -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 2:11:52 PM)

I'd not punished. I'd have expressed how hurt I was and asked why he did it. I'd then base my actions on those answers. I'd probably be looking at getting out of the relationship if I felt his dishonesty was a deal breaker.

Master Fire



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 2:40:03 PM)

Daddy (as well as my SO) know i have cyber buddies/friends in which they don't ask to see my private emails/IM messages to make sure no hanky panky is going on.  it's called  trust.





girlygurl -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 3:15:33 PM)

If I lied to my Sir I'm sure He would punish me.  What the punishment would be, I have no idea.  As far as a cyber buddy, I don't believe He would care, He hasn't cared in the past. 

girly



Decimus -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 4:45:32 PM)

Personally though I would never treat Aerith that way and shame her and myself by doing that because I feel it is cheating and would never do that period. Too much hurt and lack of respect involved.

Hypothetically, I do know IF I did do that to her...well I'd be strung up and skinned alive, and that's if she was feeling nice. Trust is a big component in our lives, one must trust implicitely if one wishes to have a strong, lasting and fufilling relationship.



thornhappy -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 6:17:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ghitaPVH

ghita~

pssst...Ron...wanna cyber?

damn, if Ron cybers, think of all the takers he'd have, eh?  Even if 'twas only the Goreans...

thornhappy



Sirsinini -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 7:37:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaDee

Recently I discovered that My sub has been naughty. I recently discovered that he has a cyber buddy.  When I asked him if he was doing anything that I had NOT allowed he denied everything. I hate a liar! I found the emails & IMs and he was dealt with.


I am sure I would be unowned.
But this is not in my nature, so Sir will never have to deal with this in regards to me. 
 
Sir's truly devoted property



laurell3 -> RE: How would you be punished if you did this? (12/6/2007 8:08:45 PM)

I wouldn't be "punished", I would be single and not for the cybering, for the lying as would he be if it was the other way around.



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