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Scenario - 12/6/2007 3:38:38 PM

MistressPav

Posts: 350
Joined: 11/14/2007
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You are topping your bottom in a public play place. During the scene, a third party makes some rude and inappropriate comments to you about your bottom, which, in essence, belittles your topping ability at the same time. Other people in the area also hear this. What would you do?

< Message edited by MistressPav -- 12/6/2007 3:42:49 PM >

_____________________________

Proud Owner of Zubi
(my boy "ToyZ")
Claimed & Collared 9magick#2008

"An it harm none, unless they deserve it, do what ye will." --Scorpio Creed

A- Rh-

Post #: 1

RE: Scenario - 12/6/2007 3:41:19 PM

DarkDaddyZ

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Joined: 4/7/2006
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If it happens during the scene, I'd stop or postpone the scene. Make sure my bottom is okay, make sure I'M okay, then find the person and have a private talk. If he or she is disrespectful after that conversation, I would notify a mediator (host of the event, dungeon monitor etc) as that is not cool and I'd keep your composure. Then I'd spend time with that bottom with the hopes you can get your energy back and dance again.

Z-

_____________________________

"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

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RE: Scenario - 12/6/2007 3:43:06 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
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While I am not the foremost public player in the world, I have never seen such a thing. Did this happen to you?

Jeff

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Post #: 3

RE: Scenario - 12/6/2007 3:53:43 PM

beltainefaerie

Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline

I would make sure my sub was safe and get the attention of a monitor immediately. If I had a second sub or friend with me, I would send them to fetch a monitor. The places I play this behaviour would not be tolerated. Luckily, the only comments I have ever had during a scene played into what was going on, rather than detracting from the scene. I hope this was hypothetical and did not happen to you. I am interested as to what you did, if it did actually happen.

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 4

RE: Scenario - 12/6/2007 3:54:02 PM

MistressPav

Posts: 350
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline

Yes it did. I have received an apology (after I asked for one) but can't seem to get over this. I'm no longer "angry", I'm hurt, but I guess I should pack my tender little feelings in my duffle bag of torture toys and move on.

What's worse is that I am new to 'public playing' and this incident has made me think twice about doing something that I have long fantasized about.

< Message edited by MistressPav -- 12/6/2007 4:12:42 PM >

_____________________________

Proud Owner of Zubi
(my boy "ToyZ")
Claimed & Collared 9magick#2008

"An it harm none, unless they deserve it, do what ye will." --Scorpio Creed

A- Rh-

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 5

RE: Scenario - 12/6/2007 3:56:23 PM

Jeffff

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Joined: 7/7/2007
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No. lol. that just strikes me as unbelievably rude. This proves to me, once again, that if this is a community, I wouldn't want to live there

Jeff

(in reply to MistressPav)

Post #: 6

RE: Scenario - 12/6/2007 4:25:03 PM

DarkDaddyZ

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Joined: 4/7/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressPav

Yes it did. I have received an apology (after I asked for one) but can't seem to get over this. I'm no longer "angry", I'm hurt, but I guess I should pack my tender little feelings in my duffle bag of torture toys and move on.

What's worse is that I am new to 'public playing' and this incident has made me think twice about doing something that I have long fantasized about.

I am sorry that this happened to you MPav. But I am sure that this is an isolated incident, a reflection of a jerk that is in your community and not the community as a whole.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

No. lol. that just strikes me as unbelievably rude. This proves to me, once again, that if this is a community, I wouldn't want to live there

Jeff

Jeff, while every community has jerks in it (think of the a-hole that lives down the street, the person you don't like that you work with and so on) you are still living in that neighborhood, you still work in your job and you still live your life. Making this situation a general "community" situation is much like me saying and generalizing all white men under 25 as racists just because when I was 19 that I was jumped by 4 white men because they didn't like that I was dating a white girl. I realize that those 4 guys were jerks that happened to go to the same college as the girl I dated. Simple as that.

_____________________________

"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 7

RE: Scenario - 12/6/2007 4:32:45 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressPav

You are topping your bottom in a public play place. During the scene, a third party makes some rude and inappropriate comments to you about your bottom, which, in essence, belittles your topping ability at the same time. Other people in the area also hear this. What would you do?

If it was aimed at me, depending on the situation I would probably ignore them and try to reconnect with the bottom to keep the scene going smoothly. Afterwards I would likely have a word with them.

If aimed at my bottom and they were not my property in any way, I would allow them to address the situation if they chose to.

If aimed at my bottom who was also my slave, then how I handled it would depend on how the person's words effected them. If they didn't notice or weren't bothered, I'd address it later with the insulting person. If it upset them at all and where it put them out of headspace for our scene I would take care of ending the scene with them making sure that they were okay and then immediately take the rude person up on their behavior.

There's little someone can say that would upset me for more than a short moment in the situation described, and if someone isn't my property I consider them able to take care of and be responsible for themselves... but I am protective and possessive of anyone I own, I do not take well to them being hurt or upset.

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(in reply to MistressPav)

Post #: 8

RE: Scenario - 12/6/2007 4:44:45 PM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

Now I am sure that I will catch much flack on this but.... if this person insulted my "bottom" or, maybe even me, I am assuming they would be close to us if I was able to hear them. I very well might "lose control" of my whip and "accidently" land an attention getter on him. "OOOOOOPS!...my bad...<BIG grin >". But I would surely discuss the matter with him later and most certainly it would not be liked.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to RumpusParable)

Post #: 9

RE: Scenario - 12/6/2007 4:47:14 PM

deeddlit

Posts: 484
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

OP, I am sorry this happened...it always sucks when things like this happen.

We were just talking about this kind of stuff happening the other night at a party. Unfortunetly it does happen...all over the place. It really is not a reflection of your specific community or anyone elses. Sometimes someone new to the lifestyle is just showing their newness...sometimes folks just have little to no social skills and sometimes someone is just being an ass.

OP, I think it is safe to say this will NOT be the norm. Don't let it get you too discouraged and it certainly is not how the majority of us behave.

Deeddlit

(in reply to RumpusParable)

Post #: 10

RE: Scenario - 12/6/2007 4:47:40 PM

MistressPav

Posts: 350
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline

I appreciate the comments from both Doms and Dommes. I have really needed to get this off of my chest.
{{GROUP HUGSS}}

~Pav

_____________________________

Proud Owner of Zubi
(my boy "ToyZ")
Claimed & Collared 9magick#2008

"An it harm none, unless they deserve it, do what ye will." --Scorpio Creed

A- Rh-

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

Post #: 11

RE: Scenario - 12/6/2007 4:49:09 PM

MistressPav

Posts: 350
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

Now I am sure that I will catch much flack on this but.... if this person insulted my "bottom" or, maybe even me, I am assuming they would be close to us if I was able to hear them. I very well might "lose control" of my whip and "accidently" land an attention getter on him. "OOOOOOPS!...my bad...<BIG grin >". But I would surely discuss the matter with him later and most certainly it would not be liked.

That's what I like to hear! *lol*

_____________________________

Proud Owner of Zubi
(my boy "ToyZ")
Claimed & Collared 9magick#2008

"An it harm none, unless they deserve it, do what ye will." --Scorpio Creed

A- Rh-

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

Post #: 12

RE: Scenario - 12/6/2007 5:12:08 PM

Dolce

Posts: 34
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

Were I the bottom in that scenario, I think that would warrant a temporary removal from my restraints, and permission to "enlighten" the offensive Peanut Gallery.

I would venture to say that "Those who can't, watch from the sidelines and make stupid remarks, and should be henceforth sterilized and prevented from the reproduction process as to not pass their Idiot genes on to future progeny."

I hope you gave the offender your two cents! :-)

_____________________________

The presence of a noble nature...changes the lights for us: we begin to see things again in their larger, quieter masses, and to believe that we too can be seen and judged in the wholeness of our character. ~George Eliot

(in reply to MistressPav)

Post #: 13

RE: Scenario - 12/6/2007 5:31:46 PM

MystressDream

Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

Now I am sure that I will catch much flack on this but.... if this person insulted my "bottom" or, maybe even me, I am assuming they would be close to us if I was able to hear them. I very well might "lose control" of my whip and "accidently" land an attention getter on him. "OOOOOOPS!...my bad...<BIG grin >". But I would surely discuss the matter with him later and most certainly it would not be liked.

Ummm... this happened to me once... and... ummmm... well... a singletail is something that sometimes just kinda gets away from you... can't help it... wasn't my fault.... can't prove anything. <grin> <innocent look>

I continued the scene, and then confronted the jerk calmly, involving the club owner. Others in the club were witness to it, and I was careful to keep my composure. No need for there to be two jerks in the place at the same time... if you know what I mean....

edited to add: I don't care if I own the bottom I am scening with or not..... I feel that as the top/Domme in the scene it is my responsibility to protect the bottom from any harm other than what I choose to inflict. I would defend the bottom in this case also.

< Message edited by MystressDream -- 12/6/2007 5:33:28 PM >

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Post #: 14

RE: Scenario - 12/6/2007 5:56:09 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

"Hey Fuckwad, make yourself useful and bring me a DM"

I would then demand that he grovel for the forgiveness of my woman.

Any DM worth his salt would be pissed that someone interrupted a scene and then insulted both parties. Demanding a public and demeaning apology would be well within your right.

I have a thick skin and insults to me don't mean much, but you fuck with anyone under my care and you are going to piss me off in a way that I won't quickly forget.

That said, I have rarely heard that sort of thing go on and I have been to lot and lots of parties.

(in reply to MystressDream)

Post #: 15

RE: Scenario - 12/6/2007 6:20:45 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

Geez thats awful...I'm so sorry Y'all were treated badly. Something like that would get to me too...I wouldn't be happy about it, but it would.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 16

RE: Scenario - 12/6/2007 6:48:44 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressPav

You are topping your bottom in a public play place. During the scene, a third party makes some rude and inappropriate comments to you about your bottom, which, in essence, belittles your topping ability at the same time. Other people in the area also hear this. What would you do?

Knowing Valyraen?

Make a comment about how anyone who doesn't know better than to interrupt a scene shouldn't be allowed in the dungeon, possibly adding that if they have anything to say about me they should have the balls enough to wait until we are done and they can say it to my face.

I swear, we are nice people...

Edited because I realized you didn't say if the third party was a dominant, submissive or otherwise

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 12/6/2007 6:50:22 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MistressPav)

Post #: 17

RE: Scenario - 12/6/2007 7:20:21 PM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MystressDream

: I don't care if I own the bottom I am scening with or not..... I feel that as the top/Domme in the scene it is my responsibility to protect the bottom from any harm other than what I choose to inflict. I would defend the bottom in this case also.

I think it is our duty, responsibilty, job....call it what you will.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to MystressDream)

Post #: 18

RE: Scenario - 12/6/2007 7:24:23 PM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

I was playing once, was having a blast, then a small group of people that were standing close and watching began talking and laughing...a bit too loud. A stern look did no good....so I fired off the dragontail I was using and popped the crap out of one guy in the noisemakers and said "shut the fuck up!!" The others in the group were slack-jawed and shocked.

What the others didn't know was that the one I hit, I have permission to, since he is the hubby/sub of My female counterpart in our D/s family. They thought I lost my mind. LMFHAO

It was effective. :)

< Message edited by OldBastardly1 -- 12/6/2007 7:26:39 PM >

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

Post #: 19

RE: Scenario - 12/6/2007 7:36:41 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

I was playing once, was having a blast, then a small group of people that were standing close and watching began talking and laughing...a bit too loud. A stern look did no good....so I fired off the dragontail I was using and popped the crap out of one guy in the noisemakers and said "shut the fuck up!!" The others in the group were slack-jawed and shocked.

What the others didn't know was that the one I hit, I have permission to, since he is the hubby/sub of My female counterpart in our D/s family. They thought I lost my mind. LMFHAO

It was effective. :)

Thats just rich....

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

Post #: 20

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