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Play or scence ???????? - 12/6/2007 5:30:00 PM

HardnRuff

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Joined: 3/17/2007
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so the next time we get together to play..."

"our next scene, slut, will include..."

How is a submissive to think about each encounter with a Dom? it has always interested me how each Dom speaks of these focussed times. But it's not only the Dom that will call it play....submissives do too!

A wise Dom once said to me that He is very careful to call a scene a scene. That there are elements of playfulness in all areas of life but that BDSM is not based on 'play' and therefore should not be spoken of as such.

To me...a scene is just that... a setting....a place and a time and a series of tools that allow the Dom to teach and mold the submissive into her best self....each scene building on the ones before and slowly expanding limits and restrictions until B/both can look back and marvel at how far they have come.

Play, on the other hand, is juvenile and trite, says He. a cheapening of that which is intense, intentional, and intended to bring T/two closer together.

What is the thoughts of the reader? Is that too serious a thought? Is it a matter of 'who cares so long as you enjoy it'? Or is ther another view that can shed further light onto the 'play' vs. 'scene' discussion?

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RE: Play or scence ???????? - 12/6/2007 5:30:55 PM

Rumtiger

Posts: 2634
Joined: 3/4/2006
From: Vegas
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who gives a shit? just have fun.

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(in reply to HardnRuff)

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RE: Play or scence ???????? - 12/6/2007 5:34:13 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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Semantics are only as important as you allow them to be. Words are not as meaningful as actions. I think it really is a matter of who cares as long as you enjoy and it is consentual.

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RE: Play or scence ???????? - 12/6/2007 5:37:12 PM

DarkDaddyZ

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Joined: 4/7/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Semantics are only as important as you allow them to be. Words are not as meaningful as actions. I think it really is a matter of who cares as long as you enjoy and it is consentual.

Yeah, what she said!

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RE: Play or scence ???????? - 12/6/2007 6:02:29 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HardnRuff

so the next time we get together to play..."

"our next scene, slut, will include..."

How is a submissive to think about each encounter with a Dom? it has always interested me how each Dom speaks of these focussed times. But it's not only the Dom that will call it play....submissives do too!

A wise Dom once said to me that He is very careful to call a scene a scene. That there are elements of playfulness in all areas of life but that BDSM is not based on 'play' and therefore should not be spoken of as such.

To me...a scene is just that... a setting....a place and a time and a series of tools that allow the Dom to teach and mold the submissive into her best self....each scene building on the ones before and slowly expanding limits and restrictions until B/both can look back and marvel at how far they have come.

Play, on the other hand, is juvenile and trite, says He. a cheapening of that which is intense, intentional, and intended to bring T/two closer together.

What is the thoughts of the reader? Is that too serious a thought? Is it a matter of 'who cares so long as you enjoy it'? Or is ther another view that can shed further light onto the 'play' vs. 'scene' discussion?

Call it play...call it macaroni..... call it jungle fucking....as long as the "D" type and "s" type are cool with it who cares?

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(in reply to HardnRuff)

Post #: 5

RE: Play or scence ???????? - 12/6/2007 6:44:22 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
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It depends on the opinions of the people involved, I am a novice sub with my former dom in which no long term commitment was intended he was quite okay with using the word play and with me using, my current dom in which we are approaching as a possible long term commitment does get upset if I use the word play, and will ask me if I think of this as just a game eg viewing as a casual playmate rather than as a committed relationship, so to him the semantics is important.

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RE: Play or scence ???????? - 12/6/2007 6:59:54 PM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
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I prefer "play". I don't want to take things too seriously. If it quits being fun, why would I continue? Btw, I am in a 24/7, collared relationship with my sub. We live BDSM. We enjoy the fun part alot. I will actually laugh during play, <shudders>.

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(in reply to Maya2001)

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RE: Play or scence ???????? - 12/6/2007 7:10:12 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HardnRuff

A wise Dom once said to me that He is very careful to call a scene a scene. That there are elements of playfulness in all areas of life but that BDSM is not based on 'play' and therefore should not be spoken of as such.

Why not? I usually use both terms. The scene is the period of time and play is what we do.

quote:

Play, on the other hand, is juvenile and trite, says He. a cheapening of that which is intense, intentional, and intended to bring T/two closer together.

That's nice. He isn't the all-knowing master of BDSM though. Scenes aren't always bringing two people closer together. That's like saying sex is only for married people.

Sometimes I don't know what else you would call our scenes other than play. We laugh and crack jokes between swats and tease each other. It's fun. We play and rejoice in our playing and our ability to arouse and amuse each other.

quote:

What is the thoughts of the reader? Is that too serious a thought? Is it a matter of 'who cares so long as you enjoy it'? Or is ther another view that can shed further light onto the 'play' vs. 'scene' discussion?

I think it's fine as a personal way of doing things. But I do think it's pompous to speak in "one way" terms. His way isn't an exceptional way, it isn't a perfect way or the only way. It's only, just and merely a way. As such I really don't know how wise your "wise dom" was.

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(in reply to HardnRuff)

Post #: 8

RE: Play or scence ???????? - 12/6/2007 7:22:52 PM

SirJohnMandevill

Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HardnRuff

What is the thoughts of the reader? Is that too serious a thought? Is it a matter of 'who cares so long as you enjoy it'? Or is ther another view that can shed further light onto the 'play' vs. 'scene' discussion?

Sounds like semantics to me. And yeah...I don't care what we call it as long as my submissive and I enjoy what we're doing.

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

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No more neuroses
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With the deviant ingredient
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(in reply to HardnRuff)

Post #: 9

RE: Play or scence ???????? - 12/6/2007 7:39:53 PM

Jasmyn

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Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
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Have always called scenes' 'play' and vice versa ... when I 'play' with someone I am 'scening' with them...when I am 'scening' with someone I am 'playing' with them.

Does one not play sports? Should we tell every sports person out there they can no longer call what they do 'play' because it is not a game they are playing? But a serious pursuit of the physical?

Seriously .. the uber dom needs to lighten up.

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Post #: 10

RE: Play or scence ???????? - 12/6/2007 7:45:16 PM

smilezz

Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
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If people would get rid of all the "being politically correct" bullshit they would probably find out how much FUN they could have.

Who gives a rats ass.......PLAY.......SCENE.......HAVE FUN........ENJOY LIFE!

~smilezz~

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RE: Play or scence ???????? - 12/6/2007 7:55:21 PM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

I like to call our get togethers "doing the hot horizontal epilectic love monkey dance." You should try it... no one can figure out if it's theatrical, playful, trite, or just plain weird!

(in reply to smilezz)

Post #: 12

RE: Play or scence ???????? - 12/6/2007 8:36:07 PM

Darke

Posts: 33
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline

"Angels fly because they take themselves lightly."

Just as BDSM encompasses both the long-time married couple who rent a hotel room twice a year, AND the much-vaunted self-professed "total no-limit-TPE-slave" who brags about how she has just a bucket and laptop in her cage, BDSM includes Both those who treasure the connected, joyous inhibition of sex AND the sincere gravitas of old-school, high-protocol dinners. Its so diverse it even includes people who enjoy both those things in varying degrees at varying times.

That being said, I think it needs to be explicitly stated that the term-of-art "play" in the lifestyle has long been understood to mean basically a "physical interaction between two players, sometimes but not necc. sexual", and doesn't neccesarily mean light-harted gallivanting.

I point this out because a similar confusion is a personal pet peeve of mine--Ambiguity over the word "theory", as in "theory of evolution." Theory means something quite specific in scientific argot, something far more rigorous than it downs in everyday parlance. Much of the "debate" over whether we should stop teaching science and lose our country's competive edge stems from this common confusion. Same word, different languages, effectively.

(in reply to SirJohnMandevill)

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RE: Play or scence ???????? - 12/6/2007 8:54:01 PM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darke
That being said, I think it needs to be explicitly stated that the term-of-art "play" in the lifestyle has long been understood to mean basically a "physical interaction between two players, sometimes but not necc. sexual", and doesn't neccesarily mean light-harted gallivanting.

Nicely stated Darke

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quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

Visit My Website

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Post #: 14

RE: Play or scence ???????? - 12/6/2007 9:17:40 PM

Kumasan2

Posts: 182
Joined: 11/20/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

I prefer "play". I don't want to take things too seriously. If it quits being fun, why would I continue? Btw, I am in a 24/7, collared relationship with my sub. We live BDSM. We enjoy the fun part alot. I will actually laugh during play, <shudders>.

What he said. I wanna have a fun and great time. I use the terms interchangeably but tend to usually refer to it as play.

And I'm a curmudgeon, too, so I must be doing something right to be playful!

_____________________________

"A Master, if He is indeed wise,
does not bid you enter the house of His wisdom,
but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind." -Kahlil Gibran

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

Post #: 15

RE: Play or scence ???????? - 12/6/2007 9:48:24 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

A scene for me is a special focused time set aside for kinky stuff, sometimes "playing."

Play is much more casual, freeform, spontaneous.

Juvenile and trite? So that's why I go to bed with a silly grin on my face so often- we're just juvenile and trite all the time. Must also think that laughing in a scene is a cardinal sin.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_272262/mpage_3/key_scene/tm.htm#272876
WHy is it called a scene?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1389159/mpage_1/key_scene/tm.htm#1389173
Help with understanding "scening"

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RE: Play or scence ???????? - 12/6/2007 10:26:45 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

I prefer "play". I don't want to take things too seriously. If it quits being fun, why would I continue? Btw, I am in a 24/7, collared relationship with my sub. We live BDSM. We enjoy the fun part alot. I will actually laugh during play, <shudders>.

Daddy enjoys making me laugh during playtime..then moan the next moment.

kitten, smiling

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

Post #: 17

RE: Play or scence ???????? - 12/6/2007 10:34:24 PM

ItalianSMistress

Posts: 427
Joined: 1/19/2007
From: Niagara Region Ontario Canada
Status: offline

I really dont care what anyone calls it, I call it play, only because that is how I veiw it, that I am playing with a toy, the slave. The rest of the time that I am not playing with the slave, its just life, within our roles.

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Post #: 18

RE: Play or scence ???????? - 12/7/2007 12:45:41 AM

Jayxkes

Posts: 138
Joined: 7/8/2004
Status: offline

I use them interchangably, though play tends to be more general. So we play at a fet club, when pervy friends visit we play. That play may include a kidnap scene.

Just about everyone I know uses those terms and no-one worries about play being anything negative, simply because it's called that.

There are times when one word just doesn't fit...'are you going to scene at Nemesis?' , 'I'm planning a kidnap paly for your next visit'.... they just don't sound right do they.

Bottom line for me is not to worry about it, as long as me and mine understand each other!

(in reply to ItalianSMistress)

Post #: 19

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