a question for the slaves

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KingofTrio -> a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 12:58:22 PM)
Hello all, This is a question for the unowned slaves here on collarme; A) Are you seeking ownership for as long as things stay good? B) Are you seeking several years of ownership until you feel the need to leave? C) Are you seeking a lifetime of ownership, period, no excuses? Just a non-scientific poll with little use, unless it helps a slave think about who she is or helps me find a slave with a C mindset. King

phoenixgirl -> RE: a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 1:16:26 PM)
Only a girl with the heart of a slave could honestly answer C). She will stay with her Master when times are difficult and make every effort to ease whatever stress and burden she can for Him. Once she is owned, there is no thought of leaving Him, only of getting closer. she has understood what being His slave entails before making her one last decision to become His property. If Master says she is His for life, then that's the way it is. A lifetime of ownership, period, no excuses. Anyone who gets into a relationship with the mindset that it isn't permanent or there is an option to leave if it's just too difficult to continue, is bound to find a way out and the relationship never really had a chance. Just my opinion.

sexyred1 -> RE: a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 1:19:32 PM)
Answer C: sounds right out of a fantasy realm. Lifetime and no excuses?? I am not sure of your reality, but mine is filled with the quote "things happen" and you have to react to them and go with the flow and sometimes, change things. Oh, and nothing is forever except death and taxes.

toservez -> RE: a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 1:48:42 PM)
Unless you are looking to own a mentally unhealthy person with severe issues, I suggest that C is merely a romantic idea in your head and does not play to reality. These are relationships like all other relationships. People have different goals and time frames based on their life stage and experiences just like anyone else. Being a Master or being owned does not move human beings to alternate universes. A slave is a human being, happy and getting their needs met and most of their desires will not leave. A slave unhappy and not getting their needs and many of their desires met will leave. There is not switch on us or special brain cells that has us look in the mirror and go we are miserable but I am a slave tough luck.

xcherishx -> RE: a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 1:58:18 PM)
I have to agree with phoenixgirl. C is my answer. A slave will make every effort to get through good times and bad. The one real reason I can see to leave the relationship is if the Master becomes so mentally or physically abusive that the slave cannot survive if she stays. Even then, leaving a Master is usually a process. When someone says, "I would die for you", I seriously don't think they mean, "I would allow you to murder me." Just my thoughts. cherish

Elegant -> RE: a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 1:59:38 PM)
Master/slave relationships....Treating these reverent relationships like a dating game devalues the significance of what we share…a bond that is based on devotion, respect, responsibility, service and commitment. It may seem easier to dismiss your slave or beg release from your Master when things are not going well but working on bettering the relationship is likely to make an even stronger bond. Of course, sometimes, there is no other solution but to dissolve the union..it happened to me in a past life. Yet, to enter into a Master/slave relationship with the thought of ‘I can always get out of it if it’s not what I wanted’ is not an honorable commitment. I made a commitment to Master Archer and a commitment to myself when I became his slave. Our life is not perfect and we do have our bad days but we work together to keep our bond strong. We do so out of reverence for ourselves and for our relationship. Master/slave unions are entered into by mutual agreement and both Master and slave are honor bound to maintain the commitment they made. Is a person’s word so untrustworthy nowadays that it can be casually revoked on a whim? If you are not absolutely committed to spending you life in a particular Master/slave union then do not enter into that specific relationship.

toservez -> RE: a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 2:11:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xcherishx I have to agree with phoenixgirl. C is my answer. A slave will make every effort to get through good times and bad. The one real reason I can see to leave the relationship is if the Master becomes so mentally or physically abusive that the slave cannot survive if she stays. Even then, leaving a Master is usually a process. When someone says, "I would die for you", I seriously don't think they mean, "I would allow you to murder me." Just my thoughts. cherish Difference between working through problems and down times in a relationship and what C is clearly written to say. All people can be judged on their level of commitment not during the no problems stage but during what life always tends to do and throw in some bad times. To interpret the C as a person just willing to work through the hard times is trying to rationalize an over romantic scenario as it is not gender or role specific in life. I am sorry but I clearly read C as saying once you are owned you can never leave. That includes if the relationship is all down time. Not some rant on slaves running the first time something is not bliss.

goodgirl08 -> RE: a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 2:20:44 PM)
quote: A slave will make every effort to get through good times and bad. The one real reason I can see to leave the relationship is if the Master becomes so mentally or physically abusive that the slave cannot survive if she stays. I agree with the first part...that's a good quality to have in any relationship you have seriously committed to. But doesn't the second part of your response count as an excuse and therefore negate your choice of answer C? Part of the slave mentality is the immense enjoyment of the slave state. If that becomes abuse then you have left that territory...but oops, you signed up for a lifetime with no excuses. ;) Just saying. When people say "you never know what could happen," your partner turning abusive is one of the #1 "you never know" things that would legitimate leaving the relationship.

Sabella -> RE: a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 2:25:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elegant Master/slave relationships....Treating these reverent relationships like a dating game devalues the significance of what we share…a bond that is based on devotion, respect, responsibility, service and commitment. It may seem easier to dismiss your slave or beg release from your Master when things are not going well but working on bettering the relationship is likely to make an even stronger bond. Of course, sometimes, there is no other solution but to dissolve the union..it happened to me in a past life. Yet, to enter into a Master/slave relationship with the thought of ‘I can always get out of it if it’s not what I wanted’ is not an honorable commitment. I made a commitment to Master Archer and a commitment to myself when I became his slave. Our life is not perfect and we do have our bad days but we work together to keep our bond strong. We do so out of reverence for ourselves and for our relationship. Master/slave unions are entered into by mutual agreement and both Master and slave are honor bound to maintain the commitment they made. Is a person’s word so untrustworthy nowadays that it can be casually revoked on a whim? If you are not absolutely committed to spending you life in a particular Master/slave union then do not enter into that specific relationship. Elegant I love you, madly. I know I know, you hear it all the time [:D] I'm not an "unowned slave" nor am I sure I'm even what most would qualify as a slave at all based on the variety of opinions - but for what it's worth I do have a slavish devotion to the man I am with. I entered the relationship with eyes wide open, aware that there could be chasms beneath my feet at any time - and I was willing to cross those no matter the cost. Does that count? A) Are you seeking ownership for as long as things stay good? We've been thru the glorious, mundane and yes horrific times. Leaving the relationship has NEVER been an option. Ever. B) Are you seeking several years of ownership until you feel the need to leave? See above C) Are you seeking a lifetime of ownership, period, no excuses? Yes absolutely. I knew in my heart that at the time we started that this was it for me. Soooo melodramatic I know rolls eyes but it is the truth. This was it. No more. He would be IT or destroy me, I didn't care, frankly. I threw myself and my heart soul and body to the fates. Elegant touched on something that you left out so I'll fill it in for you: D)will you sacrifice to keep the relationship no matter what?? with every fibre of my being - as I do daily - and he does as well.

KingofTrio -> RE: a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 2:33:14 PM)
Thanks for the replies so far, I am very happy to see the thought put into the answers. toservez, I am not 100% that I understand your point completely, but I think you are postulating a situation which would be very rare. Of course, an insane Master who has murder on his/her mind would be a reason for a C type slave to run far and fast. My question is more about regular life (M/s life is also regular life), and whether the stick-to-it-ness of the slave is sticky enough (or at least thought to be sticky enough) to weather the valleys of life. It's sort of the same regarding any sort of marriage, the ones who have made it 30, 40 years are the ones who place a high value on their vows, have a commonsense outlook on life, and realize that some shit is bound to stick to thier shoes once in a while. Again, thanks for the replies, and slaves please keep the answers coming. King

juliaoceania -> RE: a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 2:38:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KingofTrio Hello all, This is a question for the unowned slaves here on collarme; A) Are you seeking ownership for as long as things stay good? B) Are you seeking several years of ownership until you feel the need to leave? C) Are you seeking a lifetime of ownership, period, no excuses? Just a non-scientific poll with little use, unless it helps a slave think about who she is or helps me find a slave with a C mindset. King I am seeking to be happy in life and hopeful that it involves belonging to him forever and ever... but if I became dissatisfied and unhappy for a long period of time, well I would probably leave, and he would expect me to.

toservez -> RE: a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 2:45:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KingofTrio Thanks for the replies so far, I am very happy to see the thought put into the answers. toservez, I am not 100% that I understand your point completely, but I think you are postulating a situation which would be very rare. Of course, an insane Master who has murder on his/her mind would be a reason for a C type slave to run far and fast. My question is more about regular life (M/s life is also regular life), and whether the stick-to-it-ness of the slave is sticky enough (or at least thought to be sticky enough) to weather the valleys of life. It's sort of the same regarding any sort of marriage, the ones who have made it 30, 40 years are the ones who place a high value on their vows, have a commonsense outlook on life, and realize that some shit is bound to stick to thier shoes once in a while. Again, thanks for the replies, and slaves please keep the answers coming. King I think I just have a problem with what is then just a basic question everyone has to answer with another human being. What are you looking for in a relationship? Casual, short-term or long-term. I think it is not fair and opens people to over romanticize their M/s relationship by somehow thinking they are extra special because they are more committed to a long-term relationship then others. Everyone is or think they are committed to sticking out the rough patches when entering in what they hope is a long-term relationship. Because the relationship is power exchange one and severe does not make our commitment deeper or more special. That’s my point, is that a basic question we all want to know in relationships and just phrasing it to M/s to make it sound more special.

xcherishx -> RE: a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 2:58:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KingofTrio Thanks for the replies so far, I am very happy to see the thought put into the answers. toservez, I am not 100% that I understand your point completely, but I think you are postulating a situation which would be very rare. Of course, an insane Master who has murder on his/her mind would be a reason for a C type slave to run far and fast. My question is more about regular life (M/s life is also regular life), and whether the stick-to-it-ness of the slave is sticky enough (or at least thought to be sticky enough) to weather the valleys of life. It's sort of the same regarding any sort of marriage, the ones who have made it 30, 40 years are the ones who place a high value on their vows, have a commonsense outlook on life, and realize that some shit is bound to stick to thier shoes once in a while. Again, thanks for the replies, and slaves please keep the answers coming. King Obviously, this is how I read your question and thank you for clarifying. cherish

Sabella -> RE: a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 3:06:46 PM)
Toservez is wise (as usual) and brings up an important factor: it takes two like minds. I could plant good tomato plants all day long in the mud with poor results. My efforts would yield meager results at best unless all conditions were optimal. The bottom line is - it takes two, working in concert. Working daily, weekly, monthly, yearly to make a successful relationship thru the good and the bad. Yes we can overly romanticise the result (who wouldn't want to?) but it is work with the pleasure, make no mistake, on both party's parts.

hermione83 -> RE: a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 5:04:39 PM)
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AquaticSub -> RE: a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 5:13:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KingofTrio C) Are you seeking a lifetime of ownership, period, no excuses? Define excuses. Some people would consider "He is abusive" to be an excuse.

Wildfleurs -> RE: a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 5:28:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: phoenixgirl Only a girl with the heart of a slave could honestly answer C). She will stay with her Master when times are difficult and make every effort to ease whatever stress and burden she can for Him. Once she is owned, there is no thought of leaving Him, only of getting closer. she has understood what being His slave entails before making her one last decision to become His property. If Master says she is His for life, then that's the way it is. A lifetime of ownership, period, no excuses. Anyone who gets into a relationship with the mindset that it isn't permanent or there is an option to leave if it's just too difficult to continue, is bound to find a way out and the relationship never really had a chance. Just my opinion. Its easy to say lifetime and its easy to promise lifetime. Its harder to do it. I think C is just empty platitudes and romantic tripe thats more applicable in high school. C~

HottLicks -> RE: a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 6:11:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KingofTrio Hello all, This is a question for the unowned slaves here on collarme; A) Are you seeking ownership for as long as things stay good? B) Are you seeking several years of ownership until you feel the need to leave? C) Are you seeking a lifetime of ownership, period, no excuses? Just a non-scientific poll with little use, unless it helps a slave think about who she is or helps me find a slave with a C mindset. King I am not a slave. But, when I read the question and options, I didn't see a quest for answers as much as I saw an attitude and a rather degrading or insulting one at that. There was no option in the three options. The first two options had the same result which was in my opinion... a slave will at some point leave because things get tough. That suggest to me, that the attitude of the questioner, is very poor when viewing or considering a slave's attitude or anything else for that matter. If one is pissy and filled with attitude, thinking women/slave's/whatever are just in it for the ease and then going to leave if expected to realistically live life... then I might have a few questions for them! Repeatedly I have seen some start a thread in an attempt to find someone or present themself rather than depend on their profile and everyone called them on it. Well sir, I am calling you on it when I normally wouldn't because you did it in such an insulting manner. Leave the attitude with your bread rolls and you might have a chance of finding that second you wish to be king of. {Sorry, but one ought not to tempt to anger a redhead domme when she is ill and you stepped all in it big guy.}

LaMspeach -> RE: a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 6:57:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: phoenixgirl Only a girl with the heart of a slave could honestly answer C). She will stay with her Master when times are difficult and make every effort to ease whatever stress and burden she can for Him. Once she is owned, there is no thought of leaving Him, only of getting closer. she has understood what being His slave entails before making her one last decision to become His property. If Master says she is His for life, then that's the way it is. A lifetime of ownership, period, no excuses. Anyone who gets into a relationship with the mindset that it isn't permanent or there is an option to leave if it's just too difficult to continue, is bound to find a way out and the relationship never really had a chance. Just my opinion. I agree with Phoenixgirl and I think the key is the phrase I bolded. You have to know what is means to be a slave to the Master you are considering. Take your time get to know the Master. I see so many people jump in and out of relationships not just D/s - M/s relationships but all kinds of relationships with the mind set that it isn’t permanent: if it doesn’t work out I can just leave. In my mind that just sets the relationship up to fail . For me… I knew I had to give my all. Anything less is cheating Master out of getting to know all of me, the true me. I can’t give my all in the mind set that if it doesn’t work I can just move on. I also know we had to have the same basic values because my need to please is so great I was afraid I would lose the true me trying to please Master if he didn’t have the same values. So my answer is C. But you can’t go into this blindly you must truly get to know the Master you plan to give your life to before you make that one last choice.

DesFIP -> RE: a question for the slaves (12/7/2007 7:04:33 PM)
Only a doormat would answer C without knowing a lot more about you. And even then, things can go south in a heartbeat. I was married over 20 years and with full intention of staying married until he crossed my moral codes. No way I was going to stay and watch him beat up our handicapped daughter. If he had stayed the decent person I married, then I would still be with him, still dreaming of bondage instead of indulging in it. Unfortunately having a mentally ill offspring broke him, he felt guilt, resentment, anger and the rest of the appropriate emotions in such a circumstance. Feeling them was fine, attacking her and I was not the appropriate way of handling or expressing the emotions. So who can say now that yes, they will stay while you are abusive, when you decide to make them blow the hobos under the bridge for $5 a pop. Unless a person knows your limits, they would be stupid to say that they'll do anything. Do we assume that since you are looking for a stupid, low self esteem sub that you are not very intelligent and very insecure?

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