HeavansKeeper -> RE: What part of "No, thank you!" was in any way unclear? (12/22/2007 1:30:36 PM)
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quote:
standard, polite "no thanks" email I send to boys who approach me that I'm not interested in. I don't generally elaborate on the reason(s), just simply state that we're not a good match, and wish quote:
ORIGINAL: indygirl2 I have a standard, polite "no thanks" email I send to boys who approach me that I'm not interested in. I don't generally elaborate on the reason(s), just simply state that we're not a good match, and wish them luck. About sixty percent either never respond to that (which is fine) or send a quick "thanks for letting me know" message. The majority of the rest will send an immediate "but, why?" reply. I usually ignore those, not wanting to be unnecessarily unkind, but will occasionally respond if it's a distance issue or some such. Those exchanges typically go no further. But then there are the remaining few. Every couple of days, like clockwork, I get one of these: * Are you SURE? * But WHY????? * I could take as many swats as you could give me! [That one's verbatim. If I'm not even interested in emailing you, why on earth would you think I want to play with you?] * PLEASE????? I know that to some extent, I share the blame for this silliness, because of my personal "no blocking except in cases of verbal abuse" policy. But really? What on earth is the point? I can't imagine there are any dominant ladies whose opinion would be favorably changed by this behavior, and mine sure as hell isn't. WTF? I blame Walt Disney (and similar fellows). Allow me to explain. All children of the western world have grown up being told (different from being taught) how love works. Every tale has an untouchable virgin SWF who is waiting for her Prince Charming. "The One". My Soulmate. ::pansy exhaling sound:: Meanwhile there's always a SWM D/D Free chap who has to go through fire and flame to get into the line to go through hell and high water to get his "shot" at her. He inevitably fucks up, usually by getting kissed by his ex at the wrong moment. He has to spend ridiculous amounts of time and effort winning her heart back. What does this have to do with your suitor situation? 1) It teaches young girls to wait on a Prince Charming. This can lead them to settling for someone abusive because he "is the one, I just know it, you don't understand!" It also inspires fillies to become tunnel sighted. 2) The flip side of the coin, and much more pertinent to you, suggests such fables encourage men to keep trying. The two ex's in his life who played "Hard to get" have not helped either. Nor has the stupid line "if you love something, let it free---" In short, men are encouraged to keep trying for the woman they adore. If efforts don't work - try harder. Your potential boys are not trying harder, they just keep trying. (Which is the very definition of insanity). It's not their fault they were not taught how to portray their concerns in a lucid intelligable manner. I suggest this: You probably have a stock response for "no." (One that doesn't make you appear cold) ((Not saying you're cold, just saying "no" is cold)). Add this: "If you'd like to know more about why I've turned you down, write a 5,000 word segment about how and why I should want you in my life." It will give something to weed out those who don't want to try any harder, and give those who do a fighting chance. =\ rant.
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