RE: What part of "No, thank you!" was in any way unclear? (Full Version)

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laurell3 -> RE: What part of "No, thank you!" was in any way unclear? (12/10/2007 6:27:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

I saw "big knobs". I'm leaving now.


LOL and you were disappointed to find it was not a sex thread disguised as a bad email thread?  What were you thinking silly woman?




sks247RTOwner -> RE: What part of "No, thank you!" was in any way unclear? (12/11/2007 9:03:59 AM)

Oh dear!!!  it did not intend to clear out the room! it respectfully feels that its first post makes a valid point that had yet to be made, if only by imperfect anology, and as for its little joke...well..it was a very old one that sprung to mind in response to the post about evil bass players, but it realizes that it may have been out of place and it sincerely apologizes to A/all it may have offended thereby.




mimkyodar -> RE: What part of "No, thank you!" was in any way unclear? (12/13/2007 1:28:50 AM)

Didn't offend me! I'm in a band and i think all musicians are the scum of the earth... (i'm a writer, see?) long story, which is probably suitable for another forum... like the off topic area.




SubmissiveGael -> RE: What part of "No, thank you!" was in any way unclear? (12/21/2007 11:27:33 AM)

I must be in the tiniest minority of percentages then. I emailed you about a week ago and have heard nothing, not even an 'no thanks'. Sob, sob, sniffle ;(

sg.




PanthersMom -> RE: What part of "No, thank you!" was in any way unclear? (12/21/2007 2:44:07 PM)

but, but, why aren't you bowled over by their incredible personalities and charm?  don't you know they are god's gift to women, their sexual prowess knows no bounds and they are the best thing to hit the site since it was created?  you don't?  well, then they must convince you!  gotta love that block button.  once you say no thanks, there should be no more contact begging for consideration.otherwise, that's harassment in my view. 

PM




RedMagic1 -> RE: What part of "No, thank you!" was in any way unclear? (12/21/2007 3:18:01 PM)

True story.  A female spankee friend of mine is in the military.  She went to a party and played with an older engineer-type guy.  Pants stayed on, not that it should matter.  She goes overseas for six months, comes back, and her friends start congratulating her.  She asks why.  Turns out the guy had booked a chapel for their wedding, and told her friends about it.  She had had no contact with him except for that one night.  He told her, "But it seemed so right, I'm sure you felt the same way I did."

Some men have been suppressing their "nasty urges" for so long that when a woman finally accepts (or enjoys!) what he has kept secret for so long, it is overwhelming.  Don't sweat the emails from people who are still deeply insecure about themselves.  




indygirl2 -> RE: What part of "No, thank you!" was in any way unclear? (12/22/2007 9:32:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubmissiveGael

I must be in the tiniest minority of percentages then. I emailed you about a week ago and have heard nothing, not even an 'no thanks'. Sob, sob, sniffle ;(

sg.

Awwww!  Sorry about that!  I remember reading your very nice and articulate email, and not wanting to give you the "auto reply," but am definitely too much of an attention whore to carry on with a boy on another continent.  Just hadn't had time to send you a real reply yet.




indygirl2 -> RE: What part of "No, thank you!" was in any way unclear? (12/22/2007 9:34:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

True story.  A female spankee friend of mine is in the military.  She went to a party and played with an older engineer-type guy.  Pants stayed on, not that it should matter.  She goes overseas for six months, comes back, and her friends start congratulating her.  She asks why.  Turns out the guy had booked a chapel for their wedding, and told her friends about it.  She had had no contact with him except for that one night.  He told her, "But it seemed so right, I'm sure you felt the same way I did."


Gah!  WTF?  No, scratch that - there's not enough WTF in the world for that one.  And the friends now have quite the spanking coming now too, as far as I'm concerned, for not letting her know about this nonsense right away. 




SubmissiveGael -> RE: What part of "No, thank you!" was in any way unclear? (12/22/2007 1:10:50 PM)

Many thanks for remembering me, I was afraid that I was just too forgetable really! What you have said is fair and completely understandable, so thanks for being concise also. Best of luck!

sg.




HeavansKeeper -> RE: What part of "No, thank you!" was in any way unclear? (12/22/2007 1:30:36 PM)

quote:

standard, polite "no thanks" email I send to boys who approach me that I'm not interested in. I don't generally elaborate on the reason(s), just simply state that we're not a good match, and wish
quote:

ORIGINAL: indygirl2

I have a standard, polite "no thanks" email I send to boys who approach me that I'm not interested in.  I don't generally elaborate on the reason(s), just simply state that we're not a good match, and wish them luck. 

About sixty percent either never respond to that (which is fine) or send a quick "thanks for letting me know" message.  The majority of the rest will send an immediate "but, why?" reply.  I usually ignore those, not wanting to be unnecessarily unkind, but will occasionally respond if it's a distance issue or some such.  Those exchanges typically go no further.

But then there are the remaining few.  Every couple of days, like clockwork, I get one of these:
* Are you SURE?
* But WHY?????
* I could take as many swats as you could give me!  [That one's verbatim.  If I'm not even interested in emailing you, why on earth would you think I want to play with you?]
* PLEASE?????

I know that to some extent, I share the blame for this silliness, because of my personal "no blocking except in cases of verbal abuse" policy.  But really?  What on earth is the point?  I can't imagine there are any dominant ladies whose opinion would be favorably changed by this behavior, and mine sure as hell isn't.

WTF?


I blame Walt Disney (and similar fellows).  Allow me to explain.  All children of the western world have grown up being told (different from being taught) how love works.  Every tale has an untouchable virgin SWF who is waiting for her Prince Charming.  "The One".  My Soulmate. ::pansy exhaling sound::

Meanwhile there's always a SWM D/D Free chap who has to go through fire and flame to get into the line to go through hell and high water to get his "shot" at her.  He inevitably fucks up, usually by getting kissed by his ex at the wrong moment.  He has to spend ridiculous amounts of time and effort winning her heart back.

What does this have to do with your suitor situation?

1) It teaches young girls to wait on a Prince Charming. This can lead them to settling for someone abusive because he "is the one, I just know it, you don't understand!"  It also inspires fillies to become tunnel sighted.

2) The flip side of the coin, and much more pertinent to you, suggests such fables encourage men to keep trying.  The two ex's in his life who played "Hard to get" have not helped either.  Nor has the stupid line "if you love something, let it free---"

In short, men are encouraged to keep trying for the woman they adore.  If efforts don't work - try harder.

Your potential boys are not trying harder, they just keep trying. (Which is the very definition of insanity).  It's not their fault they were not taught how to portray their concerns in a lucid intelligable manner.  I suggest this:  You probably have a stock response for "no." (One that doesn't make you appear cold) ((Not saying you're cold, just saying "no" is cold)).  Add this:

"If you'd like to know more about why I've turned you down, write a 5,000 word segment about how and why I should want you in my life."

It will give something to weed out those who don't want to try any harder, and give those who do a fighting chance.

=\ rant.




JordanNYC -> RE: What part of "No, thank you!" was in any way unclear? (12/22/2007 1:32:37 PM)

Those people are the same people who think catcalling a woman in the middle of the night isn't offensive or weird either.




KnOcala -> RE: What part of "No, thank you!" was in any way unclear? (12/22/2007 2:47:54 PM)

i think a simple I am not interested needs only said once and if i hear it or say it, the matter is over.  I would prefer if i approached someone for more then friendship and she wasn't interested to politely make it known.  I also think if someone isn't interested they should say it and not avoid it.




YourhandMyAss -> RE: What part of "No, thank you!" was in any way unclear? (12/22/2007 4:55:40 PM)

Sometimes they're like, ok then you have any single domme friends?

Or how about the ones who moment before were lavishing praise, then turn on your rejection and say rude things, or call names?
quote:

ORIGINAL: indygirl2

.  The majority of the rest will send an immediate "but, why?" reply. But then there are the remaining few.  Every couple of days, like clockwork, I get one of these:
* Are you SURE?
* But WHY?????
* I could take as many swats as you could give me!  WTF?




insertclevername -> RE: What part of "No, thank you!" was in any way unclear? (12/25/2007 11:38:28 PM)

quote:

I know that to some extent, I share the blame for this silliness, because of my personal "no blocking except in cases of verbal abuse" policy. But really? What on earth is the point? I can't imagine there are any dominant ladies whose opinion would be favorably changed by this behavior, and mine sure as hell isn't.

WTF?


Personally, I think if you're not interested, there really isn't any need to explain why or to prolong the interaction. It may seem rude to ignore the email but it's the best for all concerned. Some men get much, much angrier at a personal turndown than a non-response.




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