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RE: what do You think - 12/12/2007 8:53:35 AM

BloodLuna

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luna's definition of a brat changed after she had her last um who is now 6. Bratting is definately negative (whining, manipulation, passive aggressive behavior, seeking negative attention just to get attention etc)

luna, in the beginning with Master Druid, used to be very passive aggressive. she called it bratting - she used "playful" as an excuse. He called it acting like her own kid. He taught luna the difference between being a brat, passive aggressive, and playfulness. He also taught luna to ask for what you want. One of the rules in His house is, if you want a beating, just ask and you're sure to get one (as long as you've been good!) spankings/scenes are rewards here, not punishment. The second rule of thumb is if you act like a child, He will treat you like one until you are ready to be an adult again. if luna brats or acts out (whining, passive aggressive behavior, attempts at manipulation) she is very quickly "playpenned" (set on her knees in the center of the bed and ignored for 31 minutes times the number of transgressions - punishments are age related here)

Sometimes luna brats because she is insecure, wants affection, or there is something truly bothering her and she doesn't know what it is. Master's primary goal is to give her time out to think about what is bothering her, so that she can come back to him and talk to him w/o the negative behavior pattern. Master believes in honoring commitments. He doesn't abandon his girls or "boot them out the door" - he says slaves (possessions) are more valuable the longer you keep them. You wouldn't throw out an expensive, valuable antique watch because it stops working - you get it fixed. The goal is do help the girl/boy/submissive do the internal work within herself or himself that makes them valuable as a slave/submissive and as a person.

excellent post, very thought provoking

luna

< Message edited by BloodLuna -- 12/12/2007 8:58:51 AM >

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RE: what do You think - 12/12/2007 9:24:35 AM

chiaThePet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

Some of us aren't bratty, we're playful, and we're not looking to cause trouble,
we just like to keep things interesting.

We also know when to cut the shit and assume the position.

chia* (the pet)

My dear chia, this is one of the reasons why I enjoy you so much.

Awww, LadyPact Ma'am, and PlayfulGoddess Ma'am,

Thank You, Thank You Very Much

And, I might add,

"Catch me if you can."

chia* ~Heavens Devil~ (the pet)

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RE: what do You think - 12/12/2007 1:26:41 PM

laurell3

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How fast could a plant/pet thing run?

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RE: what do You think - 12/12/2007 2:19:50 PM

Heartisan

Posts: 21
Joined: 10/21/2007
From: Denver, CO
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quote:

To me, brattyness is disrespectful. In the bdsm group I used to be in there was a group of girls that actually called themselves the brat pack even had shirts made. They were completely out of control and annoying and disrespectful. One had a Dom who I thought should have controlled her better, the rest thought they would impress a Dom by their behavior, last I knew they didn't. In any case, to me brat=bad

Exactly chelle, I would just call that a good sassy sub. Knowing when it is appropriate and/or needed is the key. If it would make him look bad in public, it's a no no, but to make him laugh in private, that's a good thing. I always joke that I make him laugh at my expense, and when I do make a joke about me and it makes him laugh I go on and on about *sure, laugh at me...* Making him laugh is the best part of being his. Good for you for having that gift too and knowing how to use it. He's lucky to have you.

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RE: what do You think - 12/12/2007 3:01:14 PM

chiaThePet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

How fast could a plant/pet thing run?

We don't run, we close our eyes and blend in with the landscape.

That stone you're resting on, it's my cousin, pet rock.

chia* (the pet)

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RE: what do You think - 12/12/2007 3:36:51 PM

salilus

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Joined: 5/18/2007
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Topping from the bottom, bratting for attention, manipulation - most (not all) submissives have done these things at one point or another and for one reason or another. For heaven sakes, using a safeword could be considered manipulation because the submissive/bottom is the one that says when things stop or start or slow down. It's manipulating things to one's comfort level. Does that make wrong? No. It's still manipulation and control; a necessary evil, if you will.

If a submissive is bratty, there is usually a reason. Perhaps being a brat has gotten them attention in the past. Perhaps they want to see how far they can push and what will happen if they do THIS or that. Maybe they're frightened of something happening. Maybe they think they're being cute and honestly don't know it's annoying. Perhaps they need something and honestly believe that being bratty is the way they're going to get it. Perhaps they don't trust the dominant/top enough yet.

Whatever the underlying reasons are, the biggest reason is probably because they (dominant and submissive) have not communicated sufficiantly. The submissive doesn't know that being a brat isn't going to get them what they need. Letting them know HOW they can present their needs, might be a good place to start.

I used to be bratty and manipulative quite often. I did it because I didn't know I should just ask for what I needed. I didn't know it was allowed, to be very honest. I was too nearsighted to see that asking for something wasn't manipulative because it allowed my owner to decide what he would then do with me while being bratty was manipulative because I was attempting to steer things in the direction I wanted them to go, for whatever reason. Today, I only have to let him know if I'm blue or feeling run down and he knows and chooses what to do with me.

< Message edited by salilus -- 12/12/2007 3:37:41 PM >

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Post #: 46