RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (Full Version)

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wisteriaV -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 9:53:35 AM)

Master and I lived together two years before I offered to have his name put on my bank accounts. He never asked, but I wanted  to make sure that if anything happened to me that he could access the money.Also it was my way of telling him I trusted him no questions asked. Thus far it has been smooth  sailing....[:D]



leiah -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 9:56:27 AM)

lei'ah does Not open her wallet[:D]

her submission to Masters power has nothing to do with $$ and if he makes it this way well

she is GONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

the one has nothing to do with another.

Unless M/s living in the same home with each having certain obligations to the welfare of the House just like regular ole nilla married folk do[;)]



GoddessTeaze -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 11:41:58 AM)

Yeah Jeff,

miracles Do happen [:D]

GoddezzT`



GoddessTeaze -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 11:43:35 AM)

I hope you don't burn yourself,
is all I can say about this.

Goodluck

GoddezzT`

(it's amazing to see the difference between answers from men and woman[8D])



GoddessTeaze -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 11:45:38 AM)

So am I ravennfyre,
A singlemom. So for Me the issue is clear, I wouldn't do such.
Unless it's a very dear friend of Mine whom I know to trust.

Just curious if men & woman deal with it differently, and
ofcourse it depends on the income Wwe've.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`



GoddessTeaze -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 12:15:51 PM)

quote:

Define'opening the wallet'.

Well the dark,

When you hardly know the Dom/me, would you already pay stuff for them,
if they said, they would need something. Is it an issue more for mensubs, who are charming, and feeling the need to show how much they care for Her? (to be a real gentleman) It intrigues Me, even reading the answers here, that perhaps it's more a male issue, then female.

Alright, thanx for your imput.
Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`





GoddessTeaze -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 12:21:43 PM)

Very well sambamanslilgirl,

you've learned your lesson I guess [:)]
thank you for your replies.

GoddezzT`



GoddessTeaze -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 12:24:55 PM)

smart move wisteriaV [:D]
I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`

Thank EeveryOone for their responds on this issue.



RCdc -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 12:40:12 PM)

I am a woman, and I have no qualms in purchasing something I might know that would make Darcy smile.  Tokens are given without thought of recompence.
 
My personal POV is that it isn't so much a male issue, than a social conditioning one and I haven't ever held to sterotypes.  A few years ago, I once gave a friend of mine who was both a dominant and who was a good friend of mine, a sum of money to assist him.  I never gave it and expected him to repay it.  I gave it because I was in a position to and because he allowed it.  It was a service I could give him at that time.  It never meant I had submitted in any way.  It never meant I was his or belonged to him.
 
People spend money on meeting dominants for the first time when they travel.  I don't see a difference in that act of 'opening a wallet'.  When a male submissive gifts a female dominant with a tribute that a dominant has requested, I guess I see not difference either.
 
I did know a male submissive who was unable to find a dominant and had been in such a position for some time.  He knew shoes were a weakness with me, and was desperate to purchase me as many and as much as I would spend.  I declined, but in discussing it with him, it was obvious he simply needed to have someone control his spending - it had nothing to do with being polite, or caring for me - he simply wanted me to order him to buy, buy, buy.
 
the.dark.



Leatherist -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 1:26:02 PM)

I've always found it interesting how when it's female doing it-a lot of people seem to excuse a person being a moocher..But god help you if you try it as a male..

Old vanilla double standard?



juliaoceania -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 2:02:25 PM)

quote:

When you hardly know the Dom/me, would you already pay stuff for them,
if they said, they would need something. Is it an issue more for mensubs, who are charming, and feeling the need to show how much they care for Her? (to be a real gentleman) It intrigues Me, even reading the answers here, that perhaps it's more a male issue, then female.


I thought that the answers would read differently from male v female respondents.

I get the impression that you feel as though being willing to open your wallet as a female is not a wise choice. Lately I have had some money problems because my hours at work have been cut back... he opened up his wallet for me. Although we have known each other for going on two years, do you think that he is unwise?

I would definitely open my wallet for him... without a doubt I would. But this is not a new relationship for us, and in my opinion this is the kinda thing that people do for each other that love each other...



Honsoku -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 3:03:13 PM)

There is definitely a difference in approaches towards money along gender lines, regardless of which side of the dynamic you are on. Why is it okay for a woman to cook, clean, raise children, suffer, and screw like the lowliest whore for her dominant or master but tendering money is right out? I agree with thedark that this is very much a case of social conditioning. Men are expected to provide and women expect to be provided for. This conditioning is so strong, that it tends to be interpreted in whatever means that supports the dynamic. In other words, the dynamic is stretched to fit the conditioning, and not the other way around.

As to what money has to do with BDSM; money is power. Who do you think has more leverage; the guy working minimum wage at Burger King, or the unemployed multi-millionaire? Money can also represent effort. Let's change the question a bit. Instead of assuming that the dominant is a deadbeat, lets assumes that he is financially stable and has no need for your money, but your money would allow him a few extra luxuries that he otherwise would not be able to afford. Those who were hard set against "opening your wallet", is your answer still the same? If so, how do you reconcile this feeling with everything else that you are willing to do for him? What is so special about money?

Honsoku



petpete -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 3:15:23 PM)

Guys lets get this straight.. i would never allow total control of my finances!!!! i have to much to lose!!! Especially with females.. But i always treated Ladies vanilla or Dommes and i find some enjoyment to see a smile in there faces.. But NO!! i would never allow them to run my life!! It is of goodwill i would do something and that alone!! If i was to be demanded by Her, The answer would be one that can make them embarrassed...



littleone35 -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 3:26:50 PM)

If i had any money i would open my wallet to my Master if he needed the money with no worries of paying me back.  Master knows being a student i do not have much money so he does not want me to spend money on him.  He already told me not to get him any Christmas  presents except for one (actually it was an order not request).  I would buy him more that is how i "open my wallet" to him.

Matt's littleone



playfulotter -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 3:28:51 PM)

My Master always pays for everything but a couple times we have gone to the grocery store and he discovered he forgot his wallet and i paid but he always paid me back always. i have bought things on the way to his place (like wine/snacks or things to make dinner) and actually when he asks me how much they cost...i make myself buy part of it and tell him a lower amount...it is only right..When we went to Vegas at the beginning of November though i bought tickets for the show "Zumanity" online and he asked me how much he owed me and i said..i will pay for those..made me feel good.[:)]



grlneedstolearn -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 3:57:07 PM)

My Dom is the opposite, but only only in the most dire need



KarenElizabeth -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 4:13:58 PM)

Amazing how many financially secure submissives or slaves probably read this and didn't post at all.


Seems the masses with opinions here are all in serious relationships...


(I didn't mean this in reply to anyone in particular)



MercilessMarcy -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 4:22:55 PM)

Every person would have a different answer to this question! Our culture, needs, expectations all dictate how we think about it.  I've had slaves want to turn EVERYTHING over to me, they just didn't want to have to make any decisions ever again.   I pointed out how dangerous that could be. I insisted he keep his retirement money right where it was, keep his credit cards, put my signature on his checking account and I would pay his bills for him.

Most of the time I think it's appropriate and happier if finances are kept seperate. 



ravennfyre -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 5:14:24 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KarenElizabeth

Amazing how many financially secure submissives or slaves probably read this and didn't post at all.


Seems the masses with opinions here are all in serious relationships...


(I didn't mean this in reply to anyone in particular)



I'm not in a serious relationship...I WAS, however, married to one that wanted me to put my paycheck into a checking account that didn't have my name on. He then would buy cigarettes, pot, porn of his choosing and video games before his family was taken care of. Once was all it took for me.



petpete -> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm. (12/11/2007 5:36:28 PM)

KE, You better hope that not many Dommes would read this subject!!!



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