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RE: Assignments - 12/11/2007 4:14:53 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		Because I don't like rules and I can be a bit of a procrastinator, we have found that assignments are sometimes beneficial. I have standing assignments like keep the house clean and do well in school. My last assignment outside the normal stuff was to read a book about slavery and write reports on what I read. It was very beneficial because when I'm given an assignment I do it.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Assignments - 12/11/2007 4:54:36 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		I'd like to hear from submissives on another angle to assignments. Do you feel it's proper for a potential Dom to give a potential sub assignments when you've known each other for only a few weeks?

Examples suggested by my former sub:
-- Tell a submissive to shave her public hair in a certain pattern of my choice, take a photo, and send me a pic to show she's complied;
-- Since I enjoy controlling a sub's orgasm, during phone conversations order the sub to masterbate and forbid her to cum until I say so.

My gut reaction is that this approach is rather pushy, even for a Dominant, when you've known someone for only a month. My former sub sees fulfilling such assignments as a test of interest on the submissive's part.

Of course, once a D/s relationship is established, I expect all assignments to be carried out to my satisfaction. (But I do NOT micromanage a sub's daily life.)

Comments, anyone?

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)


_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Assignments - 12/11/2007 5:02:51 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

nope - we don't have the type of D/s dynamic where my daily life is micro-managed


Why would you assume that getting an assignment involves daily micromanaging? I have not had a report writing assignment in weeks because I am busy with my graduate school ap and on the computer a lot of the time awaiting email responses...

Assignments do not equal micromanaging.. they are not necessarily daily, and they take endless forms... from journal writing, to movie watching, to report writing


why because that's what i see assignments as a daily task for those who need their lives micro-managed to keep them self-motivated - something i don't equate completing my band/music reviews or working the Double Door or Metro to. i don't get a list of "assignments" from Daddy or SO.  it might work for other like you however i'm too independent to require such a D/s dynamic.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Assignments - 12/11/2007 5:10:22 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		More so in the beginning to give things a structure and to learn how we work in that dynamic first.  But now, hardly ever.  If we do it's things like "Make sure I drink 4 bottles of water today" or "Remind me to get the packages at the front desk" and such.

Otherwise it's just a daily bleeding into things, there's stuff to do and we get it done.  I think mostly we're too busy just being together to think of discrete separate tasks.

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(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Assignments - 12/11/2007 5:21:56 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

why because that's what i see assignments as a daily task for those who need their lives micro-managed to keep them self-motivated - something i don't equate completing my band/music reviews or working the Double Door or Metro to. i don't get a list of "assignments" from Daddy or SO. it might work for other like you however i'm too independent to require such a D/s dynamic.


If I wanted to be completely independent I suppose I would not want a Daddy.

I suppose it helps me accomplish the things that I have to do in life knowing that by doing so I am pleasing him too...

Look up micromanagement, I do not think you know what it is to be frank with you


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Assignments - 12/11/2007 8:37:00 PM   
lockmeupplease


Posts: 202
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirJohnMandevill

I'd like to hear from submissives on another angle to assignments. Do you feel it's proper for a potential Dom to give a potential sub assignments when you've known each other for only a few weeks?
opriate


As long as rapport has been built, I see no reason why a simple assignment wouldn't be appropriate.  After my Miss had corresponded a few times and it was clear there was mutual interest, she asked me to wear a ribbon tied around my genitals the next day and send her a photo for proof.  I saw this as a small harmless test to make sure that I would follow directions and gladly complied.

(in reply to SirJohnMandevill)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Assignments - 12/11/2007 9:15:02 PM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		My only assignment regularly is to exercise 3x per week for one hour each.  It was assigned because I need to take care of myself better and not always put cleaning for someone or doing other things for my significant others above my own needs for health and alone time.  Even though I like exercising and I like the time it gives me to think or read, I wasn't motivated to take that time on my own.  Since it is an assignment/order, it now gets done and I feel better.  (The exception has been since I'm in my first trimester and sleeping all the time, but as soon as the second trimester hits, I will be right back at it unless the midwife tells me not to) 

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Assignments - 12/11/2007 9:52:46 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		~ Fast Reply ~

Definitely, I have many assignments:

Essays, stories, journals, working on my book, finishing my degree with straight A's, research projects for him, typing documents for him, such as legal reviews, a course syllabus, mid terms, etc., running errands when possible, coordinating his travel, taking "discovery ventures" on my own and visiting historical sites, museums, shows, etc. and then journaling about it, to name a few :)

I can't do enough for that man, except there aren't enough hours in a day.  I am most fulfilled when doing something he finds beneficial. 

(in reply to beltainefaerie)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Assignments - 12/11/2007 11:05:16 PM   
LittleWench


Posts: 265
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

why because that's what i see assignments as a daily task for those who need their lives micro-managed to keep them self-motivated


In my relationship its got nothing to do with micromanagement or self motivation, its all about yanking my leash.  My Owner has set me the task of taking a photograph of myself every day and emailing it to him.  That has no other purpose than to remind me that I am his, and he can ask me to do things and I will obey.

quote:

I'd like to hear from submissives on another angle to assignments. Do you feel it's proper for a potential Dom to give a potential sub assignments when you've known each other for only a few weeks?


I think its fine, its all part of the getting to know each other process.  It not only lets you get a feel for the sub, it lets the sub get a feel for you.  In that situation, as a potential sub, I might be inclined to "protest" a little, to get a guage for how you are going to potentially react to disobedience or reluctance.



(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Assignments - 12/11/2007 11:55:05 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Actually, I plan on this particular thread to be one of the assignments on My boy's list.

I give out assignments for various reasons.  Thankfully, it's only on a rare occassion that any are given as punishment.  Where I tend to give them out more is varied between learning opportunities and seperation fillers.  The learning opportunities come up by happenstance.  As to seperation times, I generally give My sub a number of threads to read and respond to here on CM in My absence.  The work that he does on these is quite good and gives Me the insight as to where to focus My efforts.


_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Assignments - 12/12/2007 5:49:23 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

why because that's what i see assignments as a daily task for those who need their lives micro-managed to keep them self-motivated - something i don't equate completing my band/music reviews or working the Double Door or Metro to. i don't get a list of "assignments" from Daddy or SO. it might work for other like you however i'm too independent to require such a D/s dynamic.



If I wanted to be completely independent I suppose I would not want a Daddy.

I suppose it helps me accomplish the things that I have to do in life knowing that by doing so I am pleasing him too...

Look up micromanagement, I do not think you know what it is to be frank with you


is that an assingment?

i don't need to look it up to be very frank with you - if it's a task/assignment or whatever the hell yours calls it - you're being micro-managed as well as to completing it.

end of lesson, grasshopper


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Assignments - 12/12/2007 6:01:22 AM   
Gardenista


Posts: 146
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline 		Sometimes hubby will leave an assignment for me before he leaves work, but not very often. If he wants me to do something that would interfere with the routine of my day, he'll tell me. We were big on structure in the very beginning, but now we tend to go with the flow of things.




(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Assignments - 12/12/2007 7:26:12 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

is that an assingment?

i don't need to look it up to be very frank with you - if it's a task/assignment or whatever the hell yours calls it - you're being micro-managed as well as to completing it.

end of lesson, grasshopper


People who insist on remaining ignorant about what other people do because they know it all already really amuse me... keep your fingers in your ears singing "la la la la la la"... I often wonder why people come to this board... is it just to pontificate endlessly about things they are clueless about when everyone that actually does these things tells them they are wrong?

You go around insultng people for living their lives differently than you, without even a half hearted attempt to see the world through their eyes, that is a rather closed minded approach... but hey, if it is working for ya, go you!

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Assignments - 12/12/2007 7:38:40 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		This is taking a turn just like the dom reading the sub's email thread.

Who cares if it's micro-managing?  If it works within the dynamic I don't see where it's an issue.  I am independent in my life, I'd say fiercely so.  But there are some areas of my life that I would enjoy more if I had someone I could give the authority to, because I know it would be good for me.  Yeah, I could do it for myself, but I don't feel like it and it means more when someone else tells me to do it.  Call it micromanaging, call it submitting, still the same to me.

< Message edited by KatyLied -- 12/12/2007 7:39:23 AM >

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Assignments - 12/12/2007 7:48:06 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Call it micromanaging, call it submitting, still the same to me.


True, it is all the same to me, and I suppose I do not see myself as this "independent" person even though people who know me would differ with that opinion.

I have raised a child by myself, worked my way through college, supported us without child support... and I long not to be so "independent" because I have had to be out of necessity. It is one of the more comforting parts of my submission.... leaning on someone stronger than me, instead of going it alone.

If this is what micro-management is (which I thought of micro management as being something where a dominant has to give detailed instructions on how to accomplish a task, or controlling her day down to the minute) well I will take micro-management over being my own independent woman.. I have my entire adult life having to be the strong one in control over everything. It is not all it is cracked up to be

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Assignments - 12/12/2007 7:51:59 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		But Julia, you are a strong, independent person.  That makes it even better when you let it go and give that power to another person.  That's how I view it, anyway.  It's like the corner of my life where I can melt into something (or someone) else.  And still feel good about being independent because I know that part of me is also valued.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Assignments - 12/12/2007 7:52:10 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

nope - we don't have the type of D/s dynamic where my daily life is micro-managed


Why would you assume that getting an assignment involves daily micromanaging? I have not had a report writing assignment in weeks because I am busy with my graduate school ap and on the computer a lot of the time awaiting email responses...

Assignments do not equal micromanaging.. they are not necessarily daily, and they take endless forms... from journal writing, to movie watching, to report writing


why because that's what i see assignments as a daily task for those who need their lives micro-managed to keep them self-motivated - something i don't equate completing my band/music reviews or working the Double Door or Metro to. i don't get a list of "assignments" from Daddy or SO.  it might work for other like you however i'm too independent to require such a D/s dynamic.



you know, i was going to rip sambasis a new one....but by the rules of engagement laid out in the thread where her relationship was attacked and then i was attacked "how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom" she did absolutely nothing wrong....she said that it would not work for her because to her that would micro management...you all have taken it way further than that...

what's good for the goose is good for the gander....

take care
chelle


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Assignments - 12/12/2007 7:58:01 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I think this is where the issue lies:

quote:

i'm too independent to require such a D/s dynamic.


It's like saying that independent women can't partake in a dynamic they find comforting (such as submitting to assignments).
In other words, my kink > your kink because I'm more independent.
That's what I see, maybe I'm reading too much into it.




_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Assignments - 12/12/2007 8:07:42 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I think this is where the issue lies:

quote:

i'm too independent to require such a D/s dynamic.


It's like saying that independent women can't partake in a dynamic they find comforting (such as submitting to assignments).
In other words, my kink > your kink because I'm more independent.
That's what I see, maybe I'm reading too much into it.


today i see to understand rather to be understood...

perhaps she see's her dynamic being attacked when people insisted that assignments were part of being submissive?


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Assignments - 12/12/2007 9:03:18 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

today i see to understand rather to be understood...

perhaps she see's her dynamic being attacked when people insisted that assignments were part of being submissive?



I wish samba would also seek to understand, since it is her that has made all sorts of judgments about people because they enjoy a relationship attribute she does not.

I missed the post on this thread that stated one had to have an assignment or they were not twuly submissive. There are posts about all sorts of stuff that my Daddy and I do not do, I do not feel judged because other people get something out of them... one example is punishment... I do not get it, doesn't mean it isn't valid for the people who do it. I am open minded that it works for them.

Now she has any right to express whatever ignorant and judgmental opinion she would like, but I can call a spade a spade and tell her she doesn't know what she speaks about. See how that works? I wouldn't have responded to her at all if it had not been for the things that katy pointed out. Her attitude that we are less independent than her because we enjoy something in the context of our intimate relationships is fairly silly in my opinion. I do not know any completely independent people anyways... we all have to count on each other to get by. Some of us go on public assistance, unemployment, get loans from fanily members, have someone help us get a job... whatever it might be... like I said, no truly independent people in this world, only people that do not give others credit for helping them get where they wanted to be.

I am grateful for all the encouragement that my Daddy has given me, if it weren't for his pushing me at times I wouldn't have done a few things that I have managed to accomplish. Like katy said, if that makes me micro managed, at least I am highly functioning in the way that I am micro managed...

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 12/12/2007 9:04:54 AM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 40
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